|
vasha -> be careful what you ask (7/15/2009 3:01:16 AM)
|
If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?
skirtlifting, yes, shoplifting, no.
Can you cry under water?
yes. been there, done that. stings like a motha'
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
age is irrelivent, the murder has to be paid. even if only in cherios
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
the other penny you pay to yourself just to listen to whatever blather the person may come up with. often, it should be more.
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
nope! clothing, if needed, is made of cloudstuff. is a bit moist.
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
arodymanics. when tossing a pizza's dougie pre-crust it comes out round. when tossing the box from a moveing vehicle, the flat side help it come in for a more controlled landing.
What disease did cured ham actually have?
Mad-Cow Disease. interspecies relations should Never be encouraged. dont ask. really.
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
they didnt take luggage to space until the 80's. coincidance? i think not.
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
because if you deficated your sleeping garments like a baby did, and DIDNT wake up... that'd probly something wrong with you.
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
yes. discrimatin is illegal in any forum.... even a blind man can see that. (if you get the mutiple meaning there, Kudos! :p)
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
is a hold over from the days when people use to have to sit ON the tv to help mess with the bunny ears for decent reception. hence, "on".
In a movie... well that's easy.. screen size. actors appeared life sized and IN the screen. wierd, but true.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
"God" complex. looking at all the "tiny people" below, well removed from (most of) them. others, just have this buring desire to test gravity. IE- *pitu!* (eww)
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
again, simple... lawsuits. they dont want one. someone half dressed, or undressing, is sexier then someone totally UNdressed. usually anyway.
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
started from male fantasy... most love the idea of being in the panties.. so to speak... and between the bra. (or what encases one)
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
ever try to make toast from frozen bread on low setting? Yuck!
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
stupid songs positivly abound. ask "Wierd Al" Yankovich. if HE can make a fortune at it, why not someone else?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
with police escort, yes. the curious will always flock to a spectacle.
If the proffessor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
hello... he's scientist, not a carpenter.
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Pluto's orbit would decay to the point of colapse, while goofy, wouldnt notice if he triped over his own iceskates. (its happened before. trust me)
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
he was actually used to beta test new product lines so he didnt have to pay for diddlie. i doubt he could have afforded the postage if not for change and returning bottles/cans off the highway.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
its sad, but there are baby sweat shops. literally... the oils they sweat out is a biproduct of their labors and is collected. waste not, want not.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
well Someone had to set seemingly fair rules didnt they? cant just let the fish have free reign. that would be SO not great.
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
nooooo... copyrights still in effect. till 2007..or something... i think... wait a min... argh
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
nope. and wouldnt admit it if i did!
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
techniquely, its not IN the skin, its outside the epidurmis... and they can occure in many areas. people with outie belly buttons, for instance have a much higher chance of one then an "innie" (that is a scientific FACT folks... look it up if you dont believe)
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
durrr... how would you like to have an acute sense of smell and have to be with some stinky being in a small enclosed space with him/her , much less breath in Your face.
Now you know
|
|
|
|
