SimplyV
Posts: 351
Joined: 11/5/2005 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MistressFire70 Oh, wait! I can explain the sock/dryer thing. This came to me in a vision ;-) And let it be known that I am the Great Dryer God! Fear Me, for you are My favored ones. In accordance with My covenant: 1. I will claim Tribute of a single sock, at random and you, True Follower, will rejoice in it, for this shows My favor for you. 2. In taking Tribute of a single sock, I create for you, My True Follower, a Holy Pair of Socks. You are instructed to keep the Holy Sock I chose to leave behind so that we may always be connected. 3. You shall not hang your socks to dry and will forever more dry your socks in My Machine, for this act of rebellion against Me will only bring you harm. You would be denying Me My chance to show favor by claiming Tribute and thus you shall be deemed Evil Beyond Belief. 4. You shall not attach your socks together with Sharp, Closable Implements of Evil or Stretchy, Elastic Bands of Wickedness in an effort to direct My Tribute choice to another pair of socks you deem less important. I am The Great Dryer God and I will have the Tribute of My choosing! 5. You shall not dry your Holy Sock alone in My Machine in hopes that I will also choose to claim that Sock, thereby relieving you of your duty to keep the Holy Sock. This is truly a desecration of the Rite of Holy Socks and My wrath will ensue! 6. Nor shall you place a Holy Dryer Gift of Monetary Value in the toe of your Holy Sock, with the intent of luring My favor. 7. Nor shall you place a Holy Dryer Gift of Monetary Value in the toe of an inferior sock, with the intent of luring My favor. 8. You are instructed, to, on symbolic occasions, wear two Holy Socks with which I have blessed you. These Holy Socks shall not match in any way. By doing thus, you show your devotion to Me. 9. You shall not desecrate My Machine by leaving lint in the filter or ignoring its buzzer. My Machine was created to conduct the Rite of Holy Socks and thereby create Holy Socks. You will respect it at all times. 10. Finally, should you, True Follower, keep your covenant with Me, The Great Dryer God, you will find that I will, on occasion, provide you a Holy Dryer Gift of Monetary Value. Save these Holy Gifts in an interest bearing account, and soon, you shall be wealthy! I, The Great Dryer God, have spoken and so it shall be! Fire - Yes, this is original. Feel free to share. Umm.. in light of this new revelation... Umm... Anyone need to buy a dryer? *runs and hangs all her socks on the line*
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