RE: Your mental illness; BDSM

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Your mental illness; BDSM

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/13/2009 1:09:26 AM

Whenready

Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline

The question is .. which is the more effective cbt - cognitive behavioural therapy - or cock and ball torture?

(in reply to vasha)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/13/2009 1:14:37 AM

GYPZYQUEEN

Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

I'm not sure whether to submit for the sake of the 'greater good's social comfort, or continue to demand my sovereignty.

DON'T submit..fuk the mainstream....!

GQ

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/13/2009 1:27:54 AM

JuliaGreenleaf

Posts: 66
Joined: 4/15/2009
Status: offline

Freud had some interesting and true conclusions. He realized that young girls, abused by their fathers, have a lot of pain and anguish from this in Victorian society. He then altered and corrupted those conclusions under pressure from his colleagues not to embarrass the rich and powerful men of his day, who's daughters he was treating.

(in reply to GYPZYQUEEN)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/13/2009 1:47:35 AM

JuliaGreenleaf

Posts: 66
Joined: 4/15/2009
Status: offline

Kenneth J. Zucker on transsexualism
Ken Zucker is a psychologist at the Clarke Institute (aka "Jurassic Clarke") in Toronto. Zucker is famous for forcing gender-variant children into reparative therapy to conform to his expectations for male and female behavior in children. He considers transsexual women a "bad outcome" for gay men.
Zucker is a darling of the "ex-gay" movement because of his work "curing" gender-variant children. Here is a piece featuring his work via ex-gay group NARTH (National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuals):

http://www.narth.com/docs/gid.html

Zucker promotes his NARTH-like notions of reparative therapy for kids with gender variance, reviewed here on another ex-gay site:

http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/narth/childhood.html

As the rest of the world begins to understand and accept gender variance as a difference and not a disease, Zucker is increasingly cast as the old-school holdout in press coverage.

Dr. Kenneth Zucker, a psychologist and head of the gender-identity service at the Center for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, disagrees with the “free to be” approach with young children and cross-dressing in public. Over the past 30 years, Dr. Zucker has treated about 500 preadolescent gender-variant children. In his studies, 80 percent grow out of the behavior, but 15 percent to 20 percent continue to be distressed about their gender and may ultimately change their sex.
Dr. Zucker tries to “help these kids be more content in their biological gender” until they are older and can determine their sexual identity — accomplished, he said, by encouraging same-sex friendships and activities like board games that move beyond strict gender roles.

Brown, Patricia Leigh (December 2, 2006). Supporting Boys or Girls When the Line Isn’t Clear. New York Times.

Interestingly enough it's the very same man who is on the board of the APA as an expert on "paraphilias" , which is basically BDSM. I think if you look very carefully, you will realize that a large amount of what we call "psychiatry" today, is in fact the work of a very small number of arch conservative hacks at University of Toronto CAMH. Their primary means of earning a living in this world and the basis of their career is fearmongering about people who are different than them to try and give their theories about the universe some validity. These theories never have , and probably never will have any grounding in the realities of the groups they speak about. They tend not to do much research that involves talking to people with an open mind to find out about what they think about their existence in the universe, and why they are here or doing something. What they DO do is resort to condemning people who are different than them as fast as they can, to make themselves seem important and relevant.

Your friendly local trans girl is probably out dealing with the problem by being an activist. It should take another 20-30 years of our work to clean up the DSM, but it will happen.

(in reply to JuliaGreenleaf)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/13/2009 2:50:28 AM

samantha4daddy

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Status: offline

I will say straight up that I've got a CBT therapist, and she's fantastic. Indeed, she was the one who convinced me I wasn't crazy for being kinky.

Then again, I live in a city where everyone has a therapist, including my therapist.

(in reply to vasha)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/13/2009 9:53:56 AM

autoRelease

Posts: 69
Joined: 6/22/2009
Status: offline

JuliaGreenLeaf, you're using the words psychiatrist and psychologist interchangeably. They're not quite the same thing. Psychiatrists deal with what is defined as mental illness according to the DSM and usually use medication as treatment. Psychologists offer therapy based on certain theories and practices to anyone who wants it.

A long time ago I wanted to move to Toronto... When I realized I had to have a sex change I was very glad I didn't live there. I've heard plenty of horror stories about what the Clark Institute puts people through.

I believe that mental illness does exist, and I think psychiatry is useful for understanding the behavior of criminals and predicting whether they will offend again. But that is all. As for psychology well, if someone wants to pay that kind of money to fix their "problems" that's their business. I do think it's a shame though that people think seeing a psychologist is the only way to deal with mental issues. There are lots of other options out there - All of them less expensive!

< Message edited by autoRelease -- 7/13/2009 9:54:53 AM >

(in reply to samantha4daddy)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/13/2009 10:08:30 AM

Esinn

Posts: 886
Joined: 6/23/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

The question is .. which is the more effective cbt - cognitive behavioural therapy - or cock and ball torture?

LOL?

(in reply to Whenready)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/13/2009 10:11:11 AM

Esinn

Posts: 886
Joined: 6/23/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: samantha4daddy

I will say straight up that I've got a CBT therapist, and she's fantastic. Indeed, she was the one who convinced me I wasn't crazy for being kinky.

Then again, I live in a city where everyone has a therapist, including my therapist.

That is still not the norm though. If you review most modern journals BDSM is frequently reviewed as something which needs cured rather than embraced. However, although I might be mistaken I believe most serious CBT therapists to be leading edge in their field.

(in reply to samantha4daddy)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/13/2009 10:17:17 AM

Esinn

Posts: 886
Joined: 6/23/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPZYQUEEN

quote:

ORIGINAL: Esinn
So, is this just me? Sometimes alone when surrounded by people? What have you done?

{/quote]

You are probably an INDIGO child...look it up

I have 4+ diagnosis and they are all gifts to me..
........now...
message me if you want to talk...

" I'm not insane..I mentally divergent"
Bruce Willis 13th Monkey

GQ

This was a new term to me. Although I can relate to much of what is said the fact there is no hard clinical data to back any of it up is what makes me disbelieve.

(in reply to GYPZYQUEEN)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/13/2009 10:24:15 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Esinn

quote:

ORIGINAL: samantha4daddy

I will say straight up that I've got a CBT therapist, and she's fantastic. Indeed, she was the one who convinced me I wasn't crazy for being kinky.

Then again, I live in a city where everyone has a therapist, including my therapist.

That is still not the norm though. If you review most modern journals BDSM is frequently reviewed as something which needs cured rather than embraced. However, although I might be mistaken I believe most serious CBT therapists to be leading edge in their field.

It may not be the norm but you can look for a kink aware therapist.
Kink Aware Professionals is a good place to start.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to Esinn)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/13/2009 2:34:25 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

DSM-IV does not state that anyone into BDSM is ill. It talks about paraphilias in terms of the effect on daily live.
Shoe fetish, for example, can be healthy or unhealthy. If you spend your lunch hour looking at the new shoes in the shop down the street and buying a pair every couple of weeks with discretionary income, that's healthy. If you are fixated by the display and can't get past the window to go to work, that's unhealthy and you're in need of mental health professionals.

My CBT therapist has no problem with me being into this. She sees that I am in a healthy relationship with someone who has helped me become stronger and that is the bottom line. A relationship that includes bdsm is not by definition healthy or unhealthy, the individual dynamics determine that.

As far as the op goes, you have been so deliberately vague that no one here can offer useful advice. Yes, there are people involved in wiitwd who have mental health diagnoses. So what? We still need to take our medications, if on any. We still need to be careful of our physical condition and our stress loads, and we still need to work on our coping mechanisms. But many of us with diagnoses still have healthy satisfactory relationships. If you can't achieve that, then that is an issue you need to work on.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/13/2009 2:42:53 PM

Goddess2002

Posts: 226
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Esinn

quote:

ORIGINAL: samantha4daddy

I will say straight up that I've got a CBT therapist, and she's fantastic. Indeed, she was the one who convinced me I wasn't crazy for being kinky.

Then again, I live in a city where everyone has a therapist, including my therapist.

That is still not the norm though. If you review most modern journals BDSM is frequently reviewed as something which needs cured rather than embraced. However, although I might be mistaken I believe most serious CBT therapists to be leading edge in their field.

I am a mental health professional...have been for over a decade. DesFIP is correct when saying that it is the effect paraphilias, etc. has on one's ability to function in his/her daily life that makes it diagnosable as a disorder. It must cause an impairment, stress, etc in daily functioning to fully meet diagnostic criterior. BDSM in and of itself isn't unhealthy, and isn't considered to be by most modern clinical literature that I've read, anyway.

(in reply to Esinn)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/13/2009 6:10:15 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Esinn

Have you ever felt so empty even when surrounded by people? I am not thinking about an identity crisis more a struggle? In relation to what makes you 'you' when considering the context of the forum you are a minority. Many respected and educated main stream psychologists can & do make a case we need their help for our benefit.
A few told me I was a dreamer most tell me I am stupid – Esinn put your feelings in check. I've always had such a passion for this; there is now way I am not going to do this. Sometimes I feel like I've done it all by myself but I know I need everybody else.
So, is this just me? Sometimes alone when surrounded by people? What have you done?
** Bonus points if you can tell me what track I am listening to now.

Eleanor Rigby.

"Ah, look at all the lonely people..."

I've been called a dreamer too.

You might be as heart-wrenchingly lonely as you've ever been in your life, while in the midst of a sea of people... Or while lying in bed next to your partner at night....

What to do: change it up.

Reach out to form new meaningful relationships with others... Ditch that lover who just isn't a good match for you. Neither of you is getting any younger, and you won't get that time back.

Spend time with people who need you, and the people you need. Help those in need, and let the ones you need help you. Make yourself emotionally and physically available, to others. Don't hide away inside yourself. Don't let your fears rule you.

Make a planned effort to become more and more yourself, with each passing day.

We all need to form close personal relationships, and have a meaningful social/work life. We need validation from, and interaction with others. I refer you to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs .

That will be five cents.

Next!

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to Esinn)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/13/2009 7:46:45 PM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

Esinn if you read some of the profiles and journals on the other side or have a few conversations with both kinksters and non-kinky you will find that feeling alone when surrounded by others is very common. In fact I wrote that in an email to a friend late last week. :)

I sometimes feel that I am just that little bit too different from my friends for them to understand me however in all honesty at times I think this is simply me wanting to believe that I am not like everyone else.

I also have a habit of losing myself in my own thoughts even when out with a group of people which creates a distance between them and myself so I am working on being more present in the moment with them.

Now onto this part of your posts....

quote:

ORIGINAL: Esinn

quote:

I am deeply interested in how modern phycology views the mind of the Top/'Middle'(Switch) or Bottom. I am not formally schooled but passionately interested. Modern psychology goes wrong with the general thought erotogenic masochism is a sign of illness. Much of what once socially marginalized us has or is changing. Buddha, Jesus, YHVH and many others recognized and embraced such teachings many mock.

I am not much for cut and pastes. But, this is a cut and paste without edit from an email I sent about an hour ago(Typo and all).

Oh, someone mentioned the joys of CBT. How a cognitive therapist might desire to change the thoughts of someone suffering from erotogenic sadism or masochism. Freud had much to say about this in 1924.

As another of the infidels on here who is one of those whose job title should not be spoken

I believe that the number of psychologists who would view bdsm interests as something that needs to be changed would be in the minority.

What I would explore is how x, y or z fits in their life, does having this in their life cause significant day to day problems, how livable is their life with x, y or z. Sometimes it has been about providing strategies to people about how to best communicate (or not communicate when discretion may be advised) their beliefs and interests in a less confronting way to vanilla people or about working with them on issues related to self acceptance and acknowledgement.

The only times I have worked with people to look at reducing or changing a behaviour significantly has been when it has been causing them significant problems in their lives (identified by them, not me as causing problems). I have had many more instances of me possibly feeling that an issue is a problem for someone (my own judgement) and the person not seeing it as an issue so we have agreed to leave it alone.

A number of psychological therapies, including many of the newer CBT ones are centred around acceptance and acknowledgement as opposed to the older styles that focused on changing behaviours.

I am always wary of adding to discussions such as these given my job however I passionately believe in empowering people to live a meaningful and rich life. If I can assist them in a few sessions by providing some ideas to help them jump start the process that is great but I also love seeing people come to find their own paths to follow through developing passions, learning from others and being open to opportunities.

I am another that will never become rich in this job as I focus on assisting people to develop their own strategies to live their life rather than on fostering a dependence on me. I like to think that I am not in the minority either.

Finally, I would actually report a psychologist to the relevent licensing board if they told me I was stupid.

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to Esinn)

Profile

Post #: 34

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/14/2009 8:27:29 AM

Smartguyswin

Posts: 16
Joined: 7/14/2009
Status: offline

what happens in my bedroom isn't the knowledge of the world. i'm on a covert operation; to embrace BDSM for what it is- FUN and DIFFERENT.

so i don't live the lifestyle. but i would... if my girlfriend wasnt so vanilla!! she really doesn't understand the depth of BDSM.

and psychologists can eat me. you don't think theres a psych somewhere who lives in a D/s relationship.. im sure there must be.

there has to be doctors, lawyers, construction workers, etc etc etc who simply live their life without the whole world knowing about it, and take part in this movement. (yes i think BDSM is becoming a movement, as people are changing and things are becoming more socially 'accepted')

(in reply to vasha)

Profile

Post #: 35

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/14/2009 12:42:18 PM

JuliaGreenleaf

Posts: 66
Joined: 4/15/2009
Status: offline

Oh, these days, we are raining down hell out of the skies on CAMH , and banishing old demons.
I have to put up with them myself to get my surgery approved. Because I am mature, and educated as an activist, they are very restrained. I fill out the documents proving I have done x, y, and z. They smile, and say they don't practice reparative therapy. These days, unfortunately, they are only victimizing children, and people still dependant on their parents who are going to university / college in their early 20's. They just cause a LOT of pain and suffering by delaying people's transitions.

They've actually published their own internal reviews talking about how to improve the situation. The problem isn't CAMH. It's certain OLD tenured people at CAMH, who have done very bad things over the years.

(in reply to autoRelease)

Profile

Post #: 36

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/14/2009 12:57:42 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

WELL?

Did I guess the song???

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to Esinn)

Profile

Post #: 37

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/14/2009 1:07:26 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

WELL?

Did I guess the song???

No....did I guess the song?

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Profile

Post #: 38

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/14/2009 2:10:44 PM

autoRelease

Posts: 69
Joined: 6/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

A number of psychological therapies, including many of the newer CBT ones are centred around acceptance and acknowledgement as opposed to the older styles that focused on changing behaviours.

I find that quite surprising. I have never been to a psychologist, but I have a number of friends who say who say they get flack from therapists for not being interested in sexual relationships. Actually, I only know one person out of eight who says their experience with psychology was a positive one.

(in reply to wandersalone)

Profile

Post #: 39

RE: Your mental illness; BDSM - 7/14/2009 3:12:40 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: autoRelease

I find that quite surprising. I have never been to a psychologist, but I have a number of friends who say who say they get flack from therapists for not being interested in sexual relationships. Actually, I only know one person out of eight who says their experience with psychology was a positive one.

Then I question if they were actually in treatment with clinical psychologists. There is a tendency for people to refer to all therapists as psychologists. And this isn't true. You are less likely to have a positive experience with someone with minimum training and whose training doesn't include sexual relationships.

The better the training, the better the therapy. Going to a social worker for $20 a session will not get you the same level of care as a clinical psychologist who has had hospital training and who charges $100 a session.

Unfortunately, HMOs are more likely to only cover a few sessions max, which even with the best therapist won't do anything. 8 sessions won't do anything for anyone.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to autoRelease)

Profile

Post #: 40