RE: I miss my friend

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MsStarlett -> RE: I miss my friend (7/15/2009 6:32:17 PM)
Thanks Sweetie. I met with the new guy tonight. It was our second 'date'. He seems to be very much ok with moving slowly. Our first meeting was last week at Logan's Roadhouse so that we could talk over a nice dinner and we ended up outside on the benches talking until dark. Tonight I took him over to my 'anti-dungeon' (My play space is in an attic, not a basement and it's white.) Again. We just sat and talked for a couple of hours and left. I showed him my arsenal and was trying to figure out what he would be interested in. He's showing an interest in just about everything... but did set out a few hard limits, which I pretty much agreed with. I think it's going to be OK.

SthrnCom4t -> RE: I miss my friend (7/15/2009 10:54:32 PM)
I would say only you can make the decision of when you will be ready for another heart connection. It's ok to grieve and miss him. Honor yourself, but don't stagnate in that sad place. Each connection is special and unique. I don't think you are looking for a 'replacement' as it were, but it would be nice to find a similar complex and fulfilling connection. Use the opportunity to analyze what worked really well, and learn about yourself. Not just the pre and during, but the "post" as well. We never have a guarantee about how long we'll have with our significant other. We can just be grateful and feel blessed each day that we do have. Hugs!

MsStarlett -> RE: I miss my friend (7/16/2009 4:05:49 AM)
Last night, I got back on my game (WoW) and one of the guys there has been flirting with me quit a bit. He's very fun and calls me "Mistress". We've had several rather playful discussions about what I do for fun. Turns out, he might come visit in a couple of weeks. No, I don't think any of these guys are a 'replacement' for West, he was unique. But he has been moving away from me since about Easter when he refused to go to Frolicon and engage in public play with me. He admitted to meeting the new girl around the end of May. He has barely spoken to me in two months. I'm tired of wallowing in self pity. New people and new interests help fill my time and attention... and someday maybe that special connection will just 'click' again. Maybe even with that guy next door. :D Or my gamer guy from the next state over. shrug Who knows. Those of you who have shared similar stories have helped me quite a lot. I would like to publicly thank those of you who sent such lovely private messages of shared greif and support. It really has been very helpful. I do think it's time to get back up on that horse. MoGa said she felt 'free' after sessioning again. Maybe that's exactly what I need.

PeonForHer -> RE: I miss my friend (7/16/2009 5:03:29 AM)
Yep, saddle up again. That's more like it!

NovelApproach -> RE: I miss my friend (7/17/2009 6:22:25 AM)
It has been my experience that when a man says "Lets be friends," after a relationship, what he really means is that while he likes you and bears absolutely no hard feelings towards you, he's not really going to be around much anymore, and probably won't call or answer the phone or hang out or chat online, and he'd really rather have a clean break. There's just something that makes it difficult for a man to be platonic with a woman he'd previously dated. I have no idea why. That said, I totally feel you. I've never dated a man I wasn't good friends with as well as romantic with, and the subsequent loss of that friendship when the romance ended has always been hard, no matter how many times I've experienced it. Even now, I am inordinately fond of my Kitty, and if we threw all the sex and kink and cuddling out the window tomorrow, I would still love him just as much for years and years to come if we could continue playing chess and watching old sci-fi movies and quoting internet memes. Luckily, Kitty has an excellent track record as far as ACTUALLY being friends with his exes, so there's a good chance he'll continue to return my affection in the years to come, should anything ever end our current relationship.

Lockit -> RE: I miss my friend (7/17/2009 11:16:55 AM)
Welcome back Starlett! It is good to see you again! Your absence was noticed and you were missed! I wish you well in the adjustments of it all... they are no fun, but we can hope that something good comes of it all and that life presents a way to balance it all a bit easier.

MsStarlett -> RE: I miss my friend (8/19/2009 5:48:11 AM)
Rather than start another thread to whine, I'll dig this one out. (For those of you who don't game - this is totally not going to make any sense at all, so don't worry about it.) Early this morning, I finally got my main World of Warcraft character up to Level 80. I've been working on that for months! While most people are deliriously happy when they finally reach that highest level, I was overwhelmed by a flood of regret and misery that my beloved Westie was not there to see it. What was even worse was the fact that I knew he just wouldn't care. As Novel Approach so sagely predicted, my boy who got me started on this game and ended our relationship with "Can we just be friends?" doesn't come around, doesn't call, doesn't answer emails, doesn't play the game anymore. I really thought I was 'over that' until I hit that milestone and wanted SO MUCH to share it with my friend. Luckily, my other guildmates came on and congratulated me on my acheivement. The one who calls me 'Mistress' may never get to visit, but he was there and listened to me whine about how much I had wanted West to see me stick it out to the end game and how sad I was that he just didn't give a damn anymore... But he said "I'm here, I care and I won't leave you." It's very good to have friends. On the bright side... I had great sex with my husband night before last. Beat my new boy last night. Slept like a rock last night. Have fun projects on my desk at work today. I have lots of friends to see me through. Life goes on and it is good. Big Hugs Gang!

NovelApproach -> RE: I miss my friend (8/19/2009 11:15:33 AM)
Oh goodness, I know exactly what you're talking about. It was exactly the same when I hit 60 for the first time a few weeks after my then-partner and I split and the guild broke up (completely unrelated, I promise). But if it helps at all... quote: Ding! 80! Grats!

pyroaquatic -> RE: I miss my friend (8/19/2009 2:40:25 PM)
Oh I see how it is... lol. Glad that you have come back around MsStarlett. It sounds like you are going to experience some more growing pains. You cannot find perfect but you can find the best. ^_^ Goodluck.

MsStarlett -> RE: I miss my friend (8/19/2009 3:43:03 PM)
Thank you, Novel! It's so nice to know someone else 'gets it'. sigh Although, I think I'm going to have to break down and go see a doctor. I really think my hormones are just screwed up. Let's face it, Ladies, I'm 47, my monthly visitor isn't regular, I'm gaining weight, I get night sweats and my mood swings are totally crazy, especially on days like this when 'Aunt Flo' is knocking at the door. I either need some estrogen treatments or Prozac. Have I mentioned lately that my husband is a SAINT for putting up with me? And for the gamers... *For the Horde!* Now pardon me while I go level my Hunter and Lock.

lilsubrt -> RE: I miss my friend (8/22/2009 7:39:43 AM)
MsStarlett, Sorry to hear the news, loss Always SUCKS. Hope You find Your Peace and can continue and grow. That, as this one sees it is the key here. You have an Amazing Opportunity to grow. Yes You Will Always Miss West and hold him Near and Dear, but You also can show someone else just how Wonderful You are and explore a new path. Good Luck In Everything. lilsubrt Taken 4/10/05 by Goddess Robi

MaamJay -> RE: I miss my friend (8/23/2009 6:32:50 PM)
Ms Starlett, yep, a visit to the Dr may help, hormonal changes can exacerbate what are otherwise normal emotions and make it so much harder to deal with the ups and downs. I understand your feelings of missing your westie ... but I liken it to when one partner goes away and the other stays home. The one who's away is the one doing the new and exciting stuff ... and no matter how much they love the one at home, they're not going to be able to be thinking of them all the time or on the phone, the internet etc. They are out and about. Whereas the one at home doing the same old same old except without the support ... they are the ones who are going to be missing the other most. Absence is much more stark in familiar settings. So please don't blame westie for not being there for you any more, he's the one out and about and lovestruck as well! It may be that in time he will get his new life in order and be able to be a more active friend again. But there's usually a passage of time before that happens, and that's also healing time for the hurt one. Also consider that maybe he's feeling bad because he knows you're hurting even though this is possibly a good move for him and he doesn't want to stir that up more by being in and out of your life right now. Time and distance ... great healers! Hugs Maam Jay aka violet[A]

MsStarlett -> RE: I miss my friend (8/23/2009 8:26:44 PM)
Thanks again, Ladies. I think we might finally be on the road to a better understanding.

Sunnyfey -> RE: I miss my friend (8/23/2009 8:31:43 PM)
HORDE FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hugs Congrats sister! Good to hear from you again!

tazzygirl -> RE: I miss my friend (8/23/2009 8:35:27 PM)
i also miss my Friend. he was my Master, my closest confidant... but most of all, he was my friend. and now he is gone. we moved on, each in our own directions. doesnt mean there isnt a gaping hole left in the wake. time.... healing... it takes time to trust to that level once again. it will come, when the right person comes along. im sure if you look back you will see he had a purpose in your life. that purpose is possibly over now, maybe not, we dont know what the future brings. time... it all takes time ~big hug~

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