i dont know if my dom could be a good master?

i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

annababy89 -> i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/17/2009 5:24:20 PM)
hi, my lover/fiance/dom and i we thinking about getting a slave to fufill his desire to be a master and mine to be a domme. i dont know though if he has the heart to be a good master. he is kind and loving and sincere, but he has a undeniable dark side and thrives on control. the reason im not sure if he would be a good master though is because he is uninterested in physical violence as a way to enforce the rules/establish dominance. he only really likes voilence/pain in the bedroom, the rest of the time he likes to be dominant mentally and using other methods than pain. do you think he would/could be a good master for a third to join us and make a poly home?

DarkSteven -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/17/2009 5:32:00 PM)
I see no issue with him enforcing his rules his way at all. I'd expect nothing less from a Master. But I wonder if the dynamics will work if the two of you have your own way of Domming your prospective slave.

NihilusZero -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/17/2009 5:50:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: annababy89 he is uninterested in physical violence as a way to enforce the rules/establish dominance. A lot of us don't have much need for that. And, for me, certainly not to "establish" my dominance.

DarkVictory -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/17/2009 5:51:58 PM)
Personally, I use chocolate pudding to establish my dominance.

JaDaMaGi -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/17/2009 5:59:53 PM)
So far you haven't said anything that would indicate your dom/fiancee wouldn't be a good master. There are many ways to go about it. Violence isn't always the answer. ;-) ....actually, I'd say violence is sort of stupid when its a 200lb guy dominating a 100lb woman. Physical dominance is already established unless of course she's a black belt in kung fu. ....although I know a few female black belts in kung fu, and they're still no match for me. :-P

DesFIP -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/17/2009 6:10:27 PM)
It depends. If the sub needs to be harshly beaten regularly, then he wouldn't be a good match for her. But there are lots of us who see no need for a punishment dynamic. He tells me what to do and I do it, if I don't or can't do it I talk to him about the problem. It works for us. What I do see as a problem is that you have preconceived notions that a sub must be given corporal punishment. So if he finds a sub who does better in a relationship without negative reinforcement, then you won't be able to motivate her since that's your fallback position. In which case this would work best if he had his sub and you had yours, and neither of you have the right to order the other one's around.

OsideGirl -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/17/2009 7:58:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: annababy89 im not sure if he would be a good master though is because he is uninterested in physical violence as a way to enforce the rules/establish dominance. So, you think that the only way to be a good master is to be physically violent? That's not being dominant, that's being a bully.

annababy89 -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/17/2009 8:56:12 PM)
ty for the replys, those who were trying to help at least. and as for the rest, i never said i think the only way to be dominant is with violence, just that he is against it as a form of punishment to enforce the rules/boundries that he sets forth and i didnt know how much that would affect his ability to Own. As i am young and fairly inexperienced with this lifestyle and wanted the opinions of those more knowledgeable than myself.

DesFIP -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/17/2009 10:23:31 PM)
I'm curious as to why you didn't ask this in the Poly forum, with people who could be better at advising you. And after all if he doms you without using physical violence, why would he have to use it with someone else?

Esinn -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/17/2009 10:33:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory Personally, I use chocolate pudding to establish my dominance. Chocolate pudding or violence is not necessary to establish dominance - war paint is.

OsideGirl -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/18/2009 10:11:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: annababy89 i never said i think the only way to be dominant is with violence You said using it to "establish dominance". Establish means to found or build. It's the start of something. So, your words suggested that you think the way to gain dominance is with physical violence. quote: ORIGINAL: annababy89 im not sure if he would be a good master though is because he is uninterested in physical violence And you implied that to be a good Master, you have to use physical violence. Personally, I think a D/s relationship is started with the desire to fulfill one of the roles. It's about a submissive feeling that the person they're with is the dominant partner in a relationship. I believe it starts in the mind, heart and soul. I don't believe it comes from beating someone into submission. Beyond your choice of words, I know D/s couples that never engage in BDSM and have happy successful relationships. There are as many versions of D/s BDSM relationships as there are people in WIITWD. There is someone out there that thinks what he's offering is the ideal relationship for them. There are people out there that this wouldn't fit. There is no standardized Master or Dominant test. One size does not fit all.

IronBear -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/18/2009 12:12:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: annababy89 hi, my lover/fiance/dom and i we thinking about getting a slave to fufill his desire to be a master and mine to be a domme. i dont know though if he has the heart to be a good master. he is kind and loving and sincere, but he has a undeniable dark side and thrives on control. the reason im not sure if he would be a good master though is because he is uninterested in physical violence as a way to enforce the rules/establish dominance. he only really likes voilence/pain in the bedroom, the rest of the time he likes to be dominant mentally and using other methods than pain. do you think he would/could be a good master for a third to join us and make a poly home? I have never used violence or even pain to enforce my Domination, just no my cup of tea and personally I would question someone who does about their inner strength and ability to be assertive. I simply use power of command and my natural dominant self as well as my mind. If that is insufficient to dominate a slave then we are not compatible. Still what ever floats your or anyone else's boat and who am I to judge? I would be more interested on what you consider a "Good Dominant" to be and how that also applies to yourself as well as your lover/fiancée.

DarkVictory -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/18/2009 3:04:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Esinn quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory Personally, I use chocolate pudding to establish my dominance. Chocolate pudding or violence is not necessary to establish dominance - war paint is. Chocolate pudding isn't necessary? You haven't been to a munch lately, have you?

IronBear -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/18/2009 4:52:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Esinn quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory Personally, I use chocolate pudding to establish my dominance. Chocolate pudding or violence is not necessary to establish dominance - war paint is. Decisions, decisions, decisions.... Do I go for Native American war paint or shall I use my ancestral wode and use Celtic designs as some of my forefathers did? Perhaps if I cover parts of my body with chocolate pudding too it may get attention.... Hmm have to have another coffee and brood...

Lashra -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/18/2009 5:59:25 PM)
MAC has some of the best warpaint out there. You can find it at MAC stores and Nordstrom's[;)] ~Lashra

tazzygirl -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/18/2009 6:01:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory Personally, I use chocolate pudding to establish my dominance. what a coincidence, i have a spoon!

daintydimples -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/18/2009 6:07:57 PM)
Excuse me, speaking from the submissive side of the table...chocolate pudding is mandatory.!

IronBear -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/19/2009 3:46:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra MAC has some of the best warpaint out there. You can find it at MAC stores and Nordstrom's[;)] ~Lashra Ahh but you see Lashra Lass, I live in Australia and we don't have MAC Sores nor Nordstrom's here...

Willowmoon -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/19/2009 4:17:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra MAC has some of the best warpaint out there. You can find it at MAC stores and Nordstrom's[;)] ~Lashra Ahh but you see Lashra Lass, I live in Australia and we don't have MAC Sores nor Nordstrom's here... Yes we do, any Myer cosmetic department has a MAC counter. The one is Myer centre here in Brisbane has a fantastic MAC counter.

antipode -> RE: i dont know if my dom could be a good master? (7/19/2009 8:33:44 AM)
quote: he is uninterested in physical violence And that makes me wonder.. you're asking multiple questions that would point at you're looking for rules and standards.. there aren't any, we all make this up as we go along. Do you desire your dom to be physically violent? What makes you raise this as an issue?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.0625