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Audaciter -> RE: Self Esteme, & the sub/slave (7/21/2009 11:27:22 AM)
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I think subs may be less likely to have self esteem issues. In my experience, people who are insecure tend to overcompensate for it in one way or another. It takes a certain level of confidence (especially for a male, given the social expectations to "be a man") to be openly submissive. Some submissive behaviors can stem from insecurities, such as endlessly doting on a person...constantly worrying whether their needs are being met...but in an insecure person these traits are selfish rather than altruistic. In an insecure person, these traits are displayed to procure recognition, and to feel a sense of self worth. The lack of recognition for these acts can have a very negative affect. It can result in resentment, anger, depression, and so on. On the other hand, a confident and secure submissive can meet their Dominants needs without the need of recognition because they already have a sense of self worth. These submissives understand that their Dominant needs them just as much as they need their Dominant. Insecurities manifest in many different ways. I see much more overly aggressive and domineering behaviors in insecure people...Its a way of making themselves feel more important to compensate for their lack of self worth. Most truly confident people that i know (I humbly include myself among them) are very laid back and easy going. One easy way to spot an insecure person is in how much drama they start. I find that high drama and insecurities go hand in hand.
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