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RE: Self Esteme, & the sub/slave - 7/21/2009 4:23:29 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

I don't have to brand you as being defensive, you've done that and more yourself.  I suspect at this point many are likely viewing you as being rather juvenile since that was the tenor of your entire reply to me.  You've pretty much run the gamut of slurs here.  You've called me names, you've implied I'm not "real and twue", you've made flimsy attempts to discredit and attack me personally.  All this is a bit over the top considering no where did I ever call you any names or make any personal attacks on you... I simply disagreed with you.  But you have done nothing to support your own argument which remains without a rational basis.  That leaves me with no choice but to assume all your affrontry is a cover because you have no basis for your opinions.

I'm also done discussing it with you... and calling your tirade a discussion is being charitable.

To quote John Vernon (The Outlaw Josey Wales), "Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining!"

So you didn't attack me; you didn't call me names, ay? My blue collar genes aren't sposta notice your preferred "tools of engagement" in grandstanding at my expense was to talk down to me in subtle tones of dismissive condescention as you picked apart virtually every phrase I posted? I don't give a rat's clacker how smart you think you are, I simply don't accept I could be so uttlery mistaken/misguided/whatever at every single turn - I've been around too long to know that's not possible.

You strutted at my expense and I snotted you for it and I don't care how "juvenile" or "defensive" the likes of you thinks I am.... I called you to your face in words you've clearly understood and I'm fine about you now claiming the moral high ground in noble retreat.

Just to finish; I've been around these Boards long enough for regulars such as yourself to know that I don't have any problem explaining my posts and opinions to those who ask (or disagree) as enquiring minds do. With you, I treated you with the same respect you treated me in "disagreeing".... My only real "crime" here is that I can't match your covertly subtle eloquence in making sport of what others post. And I'm rather proud that I can't, actually....

Hooroo...!

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Self Esteme, & the sub/slave - 7/21/2009 11:27:22 AM   
Audaciter


Posts: 21
Joined: 7/23/2008
Status: offline 		I think subs may be less likely to have self esteem issues. In my experience, people who are insecure tend to overcompensate for it in one way or another. It takes a certain level of confidence (especially for a male, given the social expectations to "be a man") to be openly submissive. Some submissive behaviors can stem from insecurities, such as endlessly doting on a person...constantly worrying whether their needs are being met...but in an insecure person these traits are selfish rather than altruistic. In an insecure person, these traits are displayed to procure recognition, and to feel a sense of self worth. The lack of recognition for these acts can have a very negative affect. It can result in resentment, anger, depression, and so on. On the other hand, a confident and secure submissive can meet their Dominants needs without the need of recognition because they already have a sense of self worth. These submissives understand that their Dominant needs them just as much as they need their Dominant. Insecurities manifest in many different ways. I see much more overly aggressive and domineering behaviors in insecure people...Its a way of making themselves feel more important to compensate for their lack of self worth. Most truly confident people that i know (I humbly include myself among them) are very laid back and easy going. One easy way to spot an insecure person is in how much drama they start. I find that high drama and insecurities go hand in hand.  

(in reply to gift4mistress)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Self Esteme, & the sub/slave - 7/21/2009 11:39:02 AM   
TurboJugend


Posts: 481
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

It takes a certain level of confidence (especially for a male, given the social expectations to "be a man") to be openly submissive


How many are openly submissive? Personally I think there are just a few who dare to say they "serve" someone.
To a partner you open up more likely of course...but most still don't introduce themselves as sub.

(in reply to Audaciter)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Self Esteme, & the sub/slave - 7/21/2009 12:05:55 PM   
Audaciter


Posts: 21
Joined: 7/23/2008
Status: offline 		:-) I can certainly agree with that. I was projecting myself in that sense. I'm usually very frank about my desired status...i get it out of the way on the first date usually. I find that submissive women are drawn to me at first glance rather than dominant. I carry myself with a very self assured manner...I also have little interest in developing relationships that wont be fulfilling to me

(in reply to TurboJugend)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Self Esteme, & the sub/slave - 7/22/2009 2:41:01 AM   
Mistressbinature


Posts: 64
Joined: 7/13/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: vasha

now, i lothe generaliseing... most of the time its very wrong. however,  it seems to me.. and feel quite free to correct me if you believe i am wrong.. that many, or even most, subs/slaves have some kind of self esteme issues.  yes?  no? why is this?   thoughts?


No, I do not believe that just because you are submissive, that you must in someway feel inferior or have self esteem issues

(in reply to vasha)
Profile   Post #: 65
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