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sfdrew -> Afternoon Pee? (7/20/2009 11:27:41 AM)
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Potty trained at last.
Three days ago I finally fulfilled a long time fantasy of mine, which is
to become a toilet slave (urine only, scat is too dangerous to my
health). This has been a long hard journey and at one point I had
actually given up and decided that I couldn't do it. For anybody who
doesn't know, the real experience is quite a bit more unpleasant than it
seems. Chocking, gagging, and vomiting had plagued me in past attempts.
Some of my old journal entries may be floating around from a couple
years ago when I was trying to train myself by drinking a small glass of
my own every night while out of town for two weeks. It was difficult at
first but I managed to actually tolerate a full glass by the end of the
trip. Unfortunately switching to my partner's custom brew was a
different story.
At the time we were still living in different states and She had come to
Kansas for our birthdays (one day apart), and we were shaping up to have
a nice evening. Knowing that I had expressed interest and been training
myself She kindly deposited Her Goddess dew into a hotel glass and
handed it to me. One thing that should have crossed my mind before that
moment was our differences in lifestyle. I keep myself a lot more
hydrated and I eat a very different diet than She does. As a result Her
urine was much stronger and saltier than what I had become used to. I
gagged and spit up the first swallow, ashamming myself and getting some
on Her. Quite possibly the biggest failure in my then short kink history.
After that I didn't make another mention or try until I was moved and we
had developed a comfortable kink synergy. I tried it hot and cold, fresh
and stale, in glasses and bottles, but the result was the same, I
couldn't manage to get a full load down. I realized the other day what
my big mistake was, so if my story so far sounds like you, read on.
I was trying too hard to ease into it, thinking that drinking from a
glass would be easier than being flooded. Because of my failures
drinking from a cup I thought I could surely never go the distance. This
was completely wrong and backwards. The context, and therefore the
experience can only be taken one way. Rarely is anything we do in the
scene about the actual activities but rather about a Domination and
Submission dynamic, about power exchange, and about trust. Holding a
glass, which might as well contain anybodies urine, and having Her look
at me with a raised brow to see what was going to happen this time, did
not create any of those atmospheres.
I finally decided to give it one more go and waited for Her to declare a
need to relieve Herself, and I suggested that I might be of some
assistance. Few details were discussed and everything seemed to fall
into place as though we both knew what needed to happen. I was naked,
and layed myself down into the bathtub. She got in and squatted over my
face as though over a real toilet. Because of the way Her legs were
positioned I couldn't move my arms much and had no way to stop the
situation. The feeling of helplessness combined with the imminent
release was nerve-wracking and exciting at the same time.
I opened my mouth wide and closed my eyes. We were both on our mark and
the pee went pretty much straight into my mouth without much adjustment.
Things seemed to be happening very fast and yet it also seemed to take
forever. I had forgotten how powerful and salty the flavor was. I leered
and nearly vomited on the first gulp. Each swallow became easier and
easier after that. There was no shallow end of the pool for me because
She really had to go. I must have swallowed five or six full mouthfuls.
By the end of it I found myself in a sort of sub space where I was
acting on instinct more than conscious thought. I rolled over and
slurped up what I had missed from the bottom of the tub. She turned on
the shower and I got blasted with a fairly cold dose of water. It
didn't' occur to me at the time, but I suppose you flush all toilets
with water ;)
The second time I was used was a similar experience so I wont go into
details, except to say that doing it twice confirmed that it wasn't a
fluke and that I could in fact drink Her urine and serve as a toilet.
This is quite frankly one of the most degrading thing D/s couples can do
and no matter how you slice it, the degradation is immense. The fact
that I crave this degradation and the need to be used and abused comes
with a strong dose of humiliation, which I also crave. Anybody can
justify handcuffs and floggers as sexual foreplay, but there is nothing
sexual about toilet service. It is extreme power play and I think it is
wonderful.
I don't know how many more times or with what frequency we will continue
the practice since it is less convenient for Her than using the real
toilet and there are real health risks involved. Being young and healthy
the only real boundary for now is our desire to do it. If you are in a
D/s relationship and looking for new ways to intensify the experience, I
highly recommend looking into watersports and toilet service. I am very
happy and very excited to reach what I feel is a new level of expression
through play of the way I desire to feel. Degraded, humiliated, and used.
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