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Switching from "work" mode to "M/s"... - 7/20/2009 7:48:21 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
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A friend of mine from here asked a good question, and I thought I would put it out there to see what other people do...

What rituals or routines do you use to show that your M/s dynamic is in place when both of you arrive home from work? How do you switch from "work" mode to your "M/s" mode?

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

Post #: 1

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/20/2009 7:53:40 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

Stripping naked is a way to strip all of the outside world off.....and your identity associated with those clothes as well.

Putting the collar on, and putting the boy into a full bow for a minute or two, also helps create head space.....

And lastly a matntra can be useful for me ill ask what brings you to me, and he says to "honor serve and obey"....

And when Lee and I see eachother, I kneel he punches me grabs my hair and then puts my cuff on....which is yummy.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 2

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/20/2009 8:11:08 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

Given we don't even remotely live under the same roof at this time, mine is probably a little different. After all is calm in my house, I wait for that special sound of him coming online. We have the same little opening greetings every night which I am pining for this week since he is away and cannot be online. Thank goodness we will be face to face and in each other's arms again this coming weekend!

I think it is just that we have set such a calming pattern for us both that we really do miss it when it is not there. It is a real anchor for us even as silly as it is to the outside world.

lovingpet

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 3

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/21/2009 7:29:22 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Most stuff requires that you don't have kids at home. Obviously you can't be kneeling naked at the door with others in the house.

If you need transition time, talk to him about it. Maybe you just need a half hour to take a hot shower or go for a walk. But changing out of work clothes into an outfit he prefers would help. And if you don't wear anything like a collar all day, then putting it on would be a good ritual.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 4

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/21/2009 7:39:07 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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I need to discuss my day and get it all out. I do corporate travel management and am shocked daily on the level of stupidty I deal with on a daily basis. There are some people that I can't figure how they got their job. So, I come home, I get about 15 -20 minutes to talk about my day and get it gone. Then I start cooking dinner, which is the trigger for me.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 5

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/21/2009 7:59:03 AM

Lady

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Very good question/discussion going on here! My Sir and i have the same issue and we are trying to come up with some kind of a *ritual* for me to be able to let go of my work persona and become the submissive i need to be at home. It doesnt help however, when your job is extremely difficult, emotionally challenging and just downright horrible on a daily basis. Hmmmmmmm ..........must be time to find a new job, huh?

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 6

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/21/2009 8:21:08 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Maybe just some exercise to get the frustrations out? Lots of people I know come home and then go out for a walk, fresh air and physical exercise helps relieve the adrenaline build up, cortisol build up etc.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Lady)

Post #: 7

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/21/2009 8:22:31 AM

GYPZYQUEEN

Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline

op:

Rituals and a transition time are important...it can start on the way home..some space alone to unwind..a tape of music in the car that is relaxing..if you have a sub at home
a directive to be at the door ..have a bath ready...a specific way to be grreeted..or a snack for both to enjoy is one way.

Upon entering the home..the "bridge" or threshold.. there can be a ritual of transition that is repeated so that it becomes a trigger..
stripping at the door.. and coming to D to kneel and say " I am yours to do with as you please" or being met at the doot a certain way.... such as with an ass available

or one or the other may wish to be alone for a while to unwind..

perhaps certain music can be playing or a candle lit..or an essential oil mist having been sprayed such as lavender which then triggers olafactory glands and the brain.

IF the actions are repeated they become a significant symbol or trigger for the
transition ..one's mind has been D or s but at work we are often
in a different mode of ACTION..

GQ

(in reply to Lady)

Post #: 8

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/21/2009 9:13:58 AM

TurboJugend

Posts: 481
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline

I have no modes.. what I am can't be switched off or on..
( I am sure some wish they could..lol)

< Message edited by TurboJugend -- 7/21/2009 9:15:07 AM >

(in reply to GYPZYQUEEN)

Post #: 9

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/21/2009 9:43:43 AM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

Odd I just had this discussion the other day.

andi and I don't have any, we tend to go right into our dynamic without the need of a recentering. That is not to say that andi does not have a Recentering, it is just one that works for us when she forgets or is having trouble coming to terms with her place in the relationship.

However I stole this from someone else and although I cannot remember who I have given this advice many times and know a couple of people who still use it today and many more who used it until they found thier own.

A Necklace, chain, anklet or other symbolic jewlery is chosen and represents the nature of the relationship, usually this item is begged for or requested by the submissive or sometimes it is given by the Dom because it is needed to create balance when things change either way the symbol of what it represents is important.

Every day when the submissive returns from work the Symbol is received and a poem or concept is recited such as the following:

Him: This is a symbol of your purpose to me, it is to remind you physically of what is always there mentally it is a Bond. It is a reminder that you are here for me and I am there for you and that as long as this symbol exists our meaning and purpose won't change.

Her: I accept this symbol as your slave/submissive/property and I wear it knowing that it is more than just a piece of jewlery buy a symbol of your dedication to me and a reminder of my choice in obedience to you.

**You can really make up anything that works for you I just suggest you make it simple and easy to remember**

This will get her into the head space that she is again back into service of you and the ritual helps to constant remind both of you the bond you created.

When she goes to work in the morning this is a wonderful time for another ritual the removal of the symbol as a reminder that she may be leaving your direct control but that you trust her to make the right decisions and while you may be removing the symbol the Real Bond is always there found in her mind and cannot be remove by anyone.

It works if you need a ritual to get your head back together.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to TurboJugend)

Post #: 10

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/21/2009 10:20:10 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

M/s mode is this slave's default mode. any "work" she does is under His direction. pleasing Him is her one and only "job".

He goes to work M-F, 9-5 and the transition from calling the shots in the office to calling the shots at home isn't so drastic as to require a re-centering ritual...although walking in the house to a nice martini and a topless slave always enhances His homecoming experience.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 11

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/21/2009 1:20:48 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead
What rituals or routines do you use to show that your M/s dynamic is in place when both of you arrive home from work? How do you switch from "work" mode to your "M/s" mode?

There is none. I am his slave, regardless of what work I am doing and when I come home, I am exactly as I am when I left home. There are no rituals or routines that need to remind me what I am and who I am slave to. The rituals that we have in place are what he desires, not a reminder or a settler.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 12

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/21/2009 2:38:13 PM

Delphinus

Posts: 146
Joined: 11/26/2008
Status: offline

I'm an admin assistant. I'm submissive all day, every day. :)

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"Silly bitch."

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 13

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/21/2009 3:11:37 PM

lostyoungling

Posts: 12
Joined: 9/15/2008
Status: offline

Just want to comment to this specifically...I'm an office assistant and I'm scolding and poking and proding and ordering people about left and right. I have a filing system, I have the database organized, there IS a procedure for how you submit the new resumes. Do NOT store your resumes in your own special place, do NOT hide the filing in some obscure corner, and for the love of file folders do NOT just dump your purse on my desk when I ask for the month's receipts. I follow directions and am respectful in the office but I'm definitely not submissive. I'm the organizer because I know how to do it. Don't mess with my system. :)

(in reply to Delphinus)

Post #: 14

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/21/2009 4:10:30 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

For us, M/s isn't sexual and there's no role to switch on or off. Carol comes home from work and I say "Hi". I suppose I could make her do some sort of ritual, but since I know that she'd do it if I asked, then why bother?

In general, if one of us is thinking they need to kick it up a notch with our dynamic, we just do so each according to our roles. On my side, I'll just boss her around more tightly. From her side, she'll get extra overt on her submissiveness.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 15

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/21/2009 4:41:37 PM

blmtrsne

Posts: 201
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline

He's always in serving mode... but when others are present, I'll be the one talking first about his obediance, then he'll addapt his attitude towards my indications. Some girlfriends noticed me ordering him just a bit to strict for a normal relationship and fysically raised an eyebrow, but I never had one single bad reaction.

_____________________________

-- Owner of slrn733561 --

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 16

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/21/2009 6:45:16 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

Wonderful replies here. I don't live with my Master, but it's interesting to see how some people switch gears to go from the "outside" world to getting back into their warm fuzzy place with their partner. When I come home from work, I need to go from high intensity mode at my job to "chill" when I walk into my family's world, so I don't bring all that home with me. It just stands to reason that there is transition from work to home in our other relationships, too. I really like the idea of the necklace or symbolic item that Steel mentioned. For me, a tangible item always helps me focus and centers me, though the dynamic is always in my heart and mind.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to blmtrsne)

Post #: 17

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/22/2009 7:39:08 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

I really struggle with this. At work I have to be Alpha, dominant, in control, calling the shots. At home with my Family at the weekends I am under consideration as a Leather submissive and thus I serve. It is not the drop down that I find hard ... it is the climb back up.

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 18

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/22/2009 3:37:28 PM

xiam

Posts: 148
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness
...It is not the drop down that I find hard ... it is the climb back up.

Oh, isn't that the truth?

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 19

RE: Switching from "work" mode to "M/s&q... - 7/22/2009 3:48:31 PM

MAMBOdeBEAU

Posts: 33
Joined: 7/21/2009
Status: offline

OP:

MAMBO had a poly home & 2 served in the home and 2 worked out..myself and
1 sub..those 2 in the home were in their LIFEstyle all of the time and lived it ..
I lived it but for the sub outside the home ...
he needed time to re-engage as he was alpha in the real estate world.

We developed little rituals that could instantly take him to his "space" such as a touch on the shoulder...a whisper in the ear...discarding clothing..and more..
All these kept the same over time helped him transition .

MAMBO

(in reply to xiam)

Post #: 20

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