OttersSwim
Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline
|
...or...Dude! Where's my skirt...and...my Dominant's skirt...and the makeup mirror?!
So I am a girly-boy. I don't necessarily identify as a sissy, but I used the term sissy in the title as I think everyone knows generally where I am going with the term.
So I spent this past weekend entirely en'femme sharing a hotel room with my Lady...It was amazing, it was wonderful, it was fulfilling in ways I cannot begin to describe...
It was also a BIG learning experience for myself and my Lady about how our dynamic works/needs to work when I am en'femme.
I am fairly service oriented. I like to take care of my Lady - her needs come first. So...you take the two of us and put us into a hotel room for the weekend of Thunder with me wanting time at the makeup mirror too...then you time compress us from sleeping later than we wanted too...and our dynamic flew right out of the window! I felt horrible, she was making my coffee and her tea and helping -me- dress....GHAAA!!!!! Not how it is supposed to work AT ALL... 
So we discussed it and learned some things. I know that girly-boyz and Ladies who are into them are in the minority, but I thought our observations on the weekend might help some Subs and Mistresses understand how to better manage the 'sissy dynamic' so it is has minimal impact on a D/s service dynamic.
#1 Being girly takes more time - so ask for it and plan for it. This is simply key. As I said above, you don't want to be time compressed if you can help it - totally screws with your ability to help Her. Plan for extra time for getting things into the room, out of the room, laid out, ironed out, hung up, etc. We set an alarm the night before the second day so I had time to get up and make her tea, and help her generally get ready and get myself ready. It still was not perfect, but it worked better than Saturday, and we now have a blueprint for improvement.
#2 Be organized. We did a lot of unpacking when we got into the room, laying out everything from makeup and hair stuff to hanging up clothing and laying out shoes and jewelry, etc. Next time, I will want to alot time to iron anything we both might wear ahead of time and again having my shit together so I know exactly what I will wear when so I can be of help to -Her-, not the other way round. We brought a lot of clothing so we would have a choice. Most females can do this "ohh...what do I want to wear?" on the fly quite quickly...me...not so much!
#3 Plan for your inexperience. Girls do this stuff every day. We do not. When you are getting ready is not the time to ask for advice on what looks good with what, how to do your makeup, or if something makes your butt look big. Have your outfits planned in advance, know what you will do with your hair/wig, how you will do your makeup, etc. That way you don't have to spend time twirling in front of the mirror which most Mistresses find...annoying. 
#4 Practice builds speed. I worked hard to minimize the impact my getting ready had on our dynamic. I was ready in 50 minutes from getting up to showering, dressing, makeup and walking out the door on Sunday, while still being able to help Her...which is actually not bad. I have a baseline makeup that works for both day and night that takes me about 8 minutes. I want to get that down even further.
#5 Make it a dance. While you are getting ready, so is She. Get up first, do prep such as morning drinks, breakfast, then help Her get up and you jump into the shower while she is waking. Do your makeup when she is in the shower...then be there when she gets out of the shower to towel her off, then go back to your preparations, make sure she has her tea/coffee when she sits down at the makeup mirror, while she does her makeup, you are dressing...then be there to do her hair, put her boots on, etc. Try to make it so your preparations and Hers go hand in hand and that you are right there at all the key points in her preparations to be of use...and still ready to walk out the door yourself on-time.
#6 It is a fact that owning a girly-boy is more work. I think much of that work needs to be done by the submissive, NOT the Lady. You have twice as much luggage, you both need the same items for preparations, you have lots to pack and unpack and plan for, and it is gonna take more time. Ladies, please understand the need for extra time, encouragement, and inexperience...subs, please take most of the burden of these things on yourself, don't put it on Her.
We had a fine time this weekend co-habitating as "girls" and my Lady and I learned a lot about how to make being girly and being a good submissive work better together the next time.
Hope that helps some! 
< Message edited by OttersSwim -- 7/21/2009 8:18:32 AM >
_____________________________
I am on a journey of authenticity and self.
|
Managing the Sissy Dynamic - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread