It's not even that kinky!

It's not even that kinky! (Full Version)

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strangemelody -> It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:07:56 PM)
This is what I told my BF I needed in bed in order to cum. (He's vanilla, but willing to learn...) Anyhow he said that the following was like "way up there" when it came to kink, and that if we start at that level, we'll get so hardcore that everything will stop working and we'll run out of things...yeah, he wasn't making any sense to me either. I mean, how "kinky" is this? Seems like average "rough sex" to me...even kinda tame, compared to things I fantasize about. What I think I need: First, it’s nice to begin with the hot make outs, caressing, petting and good stuff like that. To be entwined in each other’s arms. It’s nice for us both to be totally naked, feeling every inch of each other’s bodies. I especially like kisses on my neck and belly, and little bites/kisses on breasts. Oh and ears!! Then I’d like to play Master/slave, no more kissing. Time to suck cock like a little slut! Face-fucking would be good, or being made to kneel with hands tied behind back. Some position where you are somewhat standing over me and in control. Feel free to call me a cock-loving whore or something similar. “Do you like sucking that sock, does that feel good in your mouth? Do you like it when I fuck you in your mouth? You’re such a dirty girl, aren’t you?”—stuff like that. And then to move on to being punished (like spanking), and restrained (handcuffs and such). This is where I want you to inflict pain on me and act like you enjoy it. Like biting breasts until I can’t take it anymore (I do have a bruise too!) Pulling hair, slapping, pinching, clawing, and basically roughing me up. Remember, you are my Master; I am but your play-thing, to be used and abused for your pleasure. After I am properly put in my place, order me to suck your cock again, and then, with ball gag and restraints in place, fuck me hard. A little choking during this time would be good. Before you cum (which you can always threaten to do, as I love hearing it), pull out, and eat my pussy, while fingering me. You could also “threaten” to finger my asshole, and ask me if I wanted you to; say I was dirty like that, that I would love it, etc.

DarkSteven -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:12:52 PM)
melody, you've got a relationship with a vanilla. Of course he will freak at a list of a dozen kinky things you want done. You want a Dom, date a Dom. If you date a vanilla, don't be surprised that he's NOT a Dom.

strangemelody -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:16:59 PM)
sigh I just want to believe that people can be more flexible than that. That we are not just these unchangeable labels. He’s been so willing to change and learn lately, but sometimes like tonight he’ll be overly tired and try to analyze things to death…

WyldHrt -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:18:52 PM)
Ummm... could you maybe take it a little slower with the poor guy? He might not be ready for a full on scene yet, even one that "isn't that kinky" to many folks here.

vixenmoon -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:21:08 PM)
It sounds like you may be bringing on too much at once. Why don't you ask him what he's interested in starting with kink wise? Of course, I'd be worried if he could not think of one thing. LOL

Esinn -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:23:55 PM)
I am willing to bet $1.00 What you need Is not what he can offer. http://www.takeninhand.com - have him check that out. Edit: I agree with the few above me. Ask - this is all about communication, ya know it? "If you could do anything to me - what would it be" wink* "you can". Have him write 5-10 things.

YoungLust -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:26:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: strangemelody sigh I just want to believe that people can be more flexible than that. That we are not just these unchangeable labels. He’s been so willing to change and learn lately, but sometimes like tonight he’ll be overly tired and try to analyze things to death… Perhaps you could be more flexible too and take it slower.

SailingBum -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:29:36 PM)
lol you come at your man with a Freaking shopping list of things to get you turned on!!!!! UH you so got it wrong. Da sub in this case YOU is "supposed to Please" her man. A FYI thing. See my girl I tell her ...to get on her hand and knees. She does so cuz well I'm Da Boss Man. Kinky or not she does what she is told, When she is told. BadOne

SteelofUtah -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:30:08 PM)
If that wasn't that kinky............ what is REALLY Kinky to you? Does it involve Hang Gunts and Medical Releases? I'm pretty fucking kinky and I like the dirty side of things but what you mentioned touched on three things that MANY people in the vanilla AND THE BDSM world are uncomfortable with. Humiliation Face Slapping Sexual Violence I know More people NOT into this then I know people who ARE into it. I am with Steven.... Want a Dom Date a Dom, it is wrong to expect someone to consent to your Kink who doesn't even Understand it. Steel

IronBear -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:35:50 PM)
Of course of you handle the whole bedroom thing slowly, and gently ease him through things, encouraging him to explore his kinky or Dominant side (if he has one) then you may just wind up with a really great personally trained Dom for yourself. If the lad hasn't a Dominant bone in his body, you may try switching and Dom him, training him to be your sex toy or sex slave.

SailingBum -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:36:40 PM)
I just read the replies to the OP. Prior i had just read the OP. It seems that a lot of the ppl replies need to be reminded that she is the "submissive" She is supposed to bend to his will, NOT the other way around. Or did I completely misread the OP??? BadOne

strangemelody -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:39:07 PM)
I say it doesn't seem that kinky because it seems "normal" to me. Sexual violence? I didn't think I was really asking for that... He told me to tell him what I wanted. I can't really be a Sub when he's not yet willing to take control. I probably should take it slower with him. I just lack patience...and I miss having orgasms! He's always sad when I don't cum too, so I was just trying to show him what was bound to work for me. At first he said, "I like that, ok, we'll go to Lovers Lane and pick up some supplies after work" and then he changed his tune when I came over. I think he was just in an off mood...

WyldHrt -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:39:18 PM)
The post was about bedroom kink, not D/s, SB. Hence some of the replies, including my own, focused on that aspect. Actually, the Bear said something I was thinking; it may very well be that the OP is the Domme in this situation.

SailingBum -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:41:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WyldHrt The post was about bedroom kink, not D/s, SB. Hence some of the replies, including my own, focused on that aspect. Actually, the Bear said something I was thinking; it may very well be that the OP is the Domme in this situation. Thanks for clearing it up. All the Best. BadOne

strangemelody -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:46:10 PM)
Sadly I do have to currently take the dominant role--not something I'm at all used to. But I'm only being "dominant" in order to force him to be my Master! Hmm, yeah, that doesn't sound too likely, now does it? It's hard enough doing the D/s thing in the bedroom; I can't imagine it would ever expand beyond that. But he did show such promise a few times! He knows how to take control, to give me what I want...I guess he just can't go all the way yet...

SteelofUtah -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:48:16 PM)
Oh Yeah cause that sounds really healthy. Hows that working for you? Steel *Maybe think about that*

strangemelody -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:51:31 PM)
Maybe think about that? Ok thanks Dr. Phil ;P

SteelofUtah -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:54:42 PM)
Well? What more do you want. You are submissive and you feel you are having to force your Vanilla Man into being a Master.... If he does.... what woudl that actually make him and you. Maybe you should spend a little more time addressing your need to change the person you are with for your own satisfaction and that you feel you need to force someone to be Dominant. How does any of that sound like a Healthy Relationship or anything close to a functioning Power Dyanmic? Call me Dr Phil.... I got my Arm Chair Psycologists Degree it came with 14 proofs of purchase of the fruity pebbles. Doesn't change what I said. Steel

strangemelody -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 10:59:47 PM)
Maybe you have a point that I'm being too stubborn to realize. He wants to change me too! I tried to enjoy "normal" sex for most of our relationship. And now that we're trying to do things "my way" we're both frustrated. I feel like he has it in him to be dominant, but maybe it's not my job to force it out? I just can't imagine breaking up with him over SEX. Blah it makes me feel so shallow. We're perfect for each other...in every other way. And maybe I am crazy or something to think that what I told him wasn't that kinky...but that was seriously the kind of sex I had on the regular in my last relationship. It really wasn't that hard core...light slapping and such...

LadyPact -> RE: It's not even that kinky! (7/22/2009 11:06:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: strangemelody I say it doesn't seem that kinky because it seems "normal" to me. Sexual violence? I didn't think I was really asking for that... He told me to tell him what I wanted. I can't really be a Sub when he's not yet willing to take control. I probably should take it slower with him. I just lack patience...and I miss having orgasms! He's always sad when I don't cum too, so I was just trying to show him what was bound to work for me. At first he said, "I like that, ok, we'll go to Lovers Lane and pick up some supplies after work" and then he changed his tune when I came over. I think he was just in an off mood... Here's your problem, right here. It's not kinky to you. To the vanilla man you're seeing, it's kinky. If the person you are seeing is just getting started in kink, this is a heck of a leap. As Steel said, you are asking for some things that most folks take a while to work up to and you want it all NOW.

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