not to crave,demand,expect..?

not to crave,demand,expect..? (Full Version)

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MARIEL -> not to crave,demand,expect..? (7/23/2009 3:23:48 PM)
Is it working that a sub/slave dont crave anything,dont demand anything,dont expect anything? Is it sane? Doesnt everyone have cravings,demands,wants,needs? How do you react if a Dom/Top/Master/Mistress/Domme says to you that you shall not crave,demand or expect anything than the fact you are theirs..? that nothing else matters? can it be done,in reality,or is it just..a fantasy?

DesFIP -> RE: not to crave,demand,expect..? (7/23/2009 3:31:31 PM)
If this doesn't work for you, as it doesn't appear to, then you aren't compatible. As far as how it works for me, doesn't much matter if he tells me I don't need to breathe anymore, I still do. So I found a man who was a lot more compatible with me. Figure out what you need in a partner, and when people tell you things that aren't in agreement with what you want, wish them good luck in their search and continue with yours. No different than the way everyone else looks for a good relationship.

littlewonder -> RE: not to crave,demand,expect..? (7/23/2009 3:47:45 PM)
My needs are met by myself and/or Master or life in general. If my needs don't get met in life then I die. Simple enough. My desires/wants/cravings are sometimes met or they are not. I won't die without them. I can request but that doesn't always mean I'll get. That's just part of life. Do you always get all your desires or cravings met 100% of the time? I sometimes crave ice cream at 3 am but I'm not gonna get it at that hour probably! I never demand with Master. If I did that then I'm obviously confused about who the dominant partner is in our relationship and I don't think I'd be in a relationship very long. If you're not happy in your relationship then it may be time to reevaluate it and/or yourself.

caelestis -> RE: not to crave,demand,expect..? (7/23/2009 4:04:20 PM)
Needs are always first and formost. If you can't agree with someone on what your needs are, they aren't the person for you. Everyone craves things, everyone has desires, but not everyone demands or expects those things to be fufilled. I don't need or want to demand or expect things, but I'm rather comfortable with the fact that He will see to my desires/wants/etc when it is best. I trust Him on that. If I started demanding, I'd probably get quite the talking to....

CaringandReal -> RE: not to crave,demand,expect..? (7/23/2009 4:45:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MARIEL Is it working that a sub/slave dont crave anything,dont demand anything,dont expect anything? Is it sane? Doesnt everyone have cravings,demands,wants,needs? How do you react if a Dom/Top/Master/Mistress/Domme says to you that you shall not crave,demand or expect anything than the fact you are theirs..? that nothing else matters? can it be done,in reality,or is it just..a fantasy? If it's said exactly the way you quoted it, then yeah, I think it's a fantasy on the dom's part. A fantasy for the perfect slave. Such a slave does not exist because people are (a)imperfect and (b) not raised to be slaves. We all stumble through this condition called slavery, trying to figure it out as we go along. Cravings and expectations are not something someone can just order you to shut off like a light switch and then <click> they're magically gone. They are something inside you, feelings, not thoughts, and rarther strong and irrational ones at that. You want what you want. A dom might tell you that you aren't allowed to demand anything from him or her, but often all that means is that they expect you to beg or very humbly ask for what you want. That's a change of attitude and while it can be hard to learn the new attitude it's much more doable than shutting off cravings or pretending you don't have any expectations. A dom can also "work with you" on your cravings and expectations, impose discipline that lessens them so that you are less selfish, but they never fully go away. I don't think a person would still be a person if he didn't want things. And they certainly wouldn't be very fun for anyone, doms included, to be around. They might very well be a zen master, though. :p Here's an example of how this "no cravings, no expectations" stuff is silly: if your dom is not around very much and you are lonely you might crave his company. If you didn't crave to be around him, I personally wouldn't think you were a very good slave: you'd be lacking in devotion or feelings in my eyes. But if what you said above is true, then being an unfeeling cyborg who doesn't miss her master when he is gone is the ideal situation. Maybe it is for a very few people. But most people who say this sort of thing are just describing something they read in a fiction book or saw in a movie somewhere and haven't really thought through the realistic consequences of what they are saying.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: not to crave,demand,expect..? (7/23/2009 5:38:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MARIEL Is it working that a sub/slave dont crave anything,dont demand anything,dont expect anything? Is it sane? Doesnt everyone have cravings,demands,wants,needs? How do you react if a Dom/Top/Master/Mistress/Domme says to you that you shall not crave,demand or expect anything than the fact you are theirs..? that nothing else matters? can it be done,in reality,or is it just..a fantasy? There are some who may aspire to this, but you don't. Leave it.

frazzle -> RE: not to crave,demand,expect..? (7/23/2009 6:28:15 PM)
For some the answer is Yes, for others it No. Make your own choices, you are human first.

spookyfe -> RE: not to crave,demand,expect..? (7/26/2009 4:30:00 AM)
my master says he has no problem with me wanting needing craving and asking for these. BUT its how i ask not what i ask this is taking me a long time to learn but getting there. as he says its how you ask a master not what you ask

DarkSteven -> RE: not to crave,demand,expect..? (7/26/2009 5:54:44 AM)
Someone once posted something beautiful here about how a Dom's wants must get met, and a sub's needs must get met.

whiteslavebitch -> RE: not to crave,demand,expect..? (7/26/2009 7:24:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MARIEL Is it working that a sub/slave dont crave anything,dont demand anything,dont expect anything? Is it sane? Doesnt everyone have cravings,demands,wants,needs? How do you react if a Dom/Top/Master/Mistress/Domme says to you that you shall not crave,demand or expect anything than the fact you are theirs..? that nothing else matters? can it be done,in reality,or is it just..a fantasy? That scenario does seem like a fantasy to me. If my need weren't being met, much less some of my desires on occasion, than the relationship would not be fulfilling for me and I would have to start my search over.

tazzygirl -> RE: not to crave,demand,expect..? (7/26/2009 8:15:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MARIEL Is it working that a sub/slave dont crave anything,dont demand anything,dont expect anything? Is it sane? Doesnt everyone have cravings,demands,wants,needs? How do you react if a Dom/Top/Master/Mistress/Domme says to you that you shall not crave,demand or expect anything than the fact you are theirs..? that nothing else matters? can it be done,in reality,or is it just..a fantasy? i lived that. it doesnt work. everyone has wants, needs, desires. i just shake my head and keep on looking it can happen, but it wont last. the thing that holds us within a relationship is the needs that a Dom/ect can fullfill. it is a rather selfish relationship, on both sides. if a sub/slave cannot meet their needs, its over. if a Dom/ect cannot meet the sub/slaves needs, the same holds true. the wants, desires... the rest. its the icing. but if the basics are not there, no matter how much you both may want it, its just not going to work. the difference between relationships is the people within them. what you can handle, i may not. only you can decide if your needs are being met within that relationship. in short, if you think not, then keep looking. if you are happy with what you have, then stay. no one else can decide for you.

kallisto -> RE: not to crave,demand,expect..? (7/26/2009 10:15:36 AM)
If I don't have cravings, wants, needs, desires of my Dom, then what am I expecting to get out of the relationship? It may be a D/s relationship, but it's still a two way street. If the only thing I'm allowed to crave is being his, then it's become a dead end, and it's not the relationship I want to be in.

vixenmoon -> RE: not to crave,demand,expect..? (7/26/2009 10:42:24 AM)
Not demanding is perfectly reasonable, and more often expected, I would say. The lack of expectations... I've recently had something relating to that. Its a tough one. Not sure yet. However... being free from desire. I don't know how that works for some people. Honestly, this can be a crutch for one person in the relationship to keep the relationship in an unhealthy balance. But, alternately, it could be part of a slave's duties to study Buddhism (as an example) and to pursue freedom from desire in that spiritual sense.

tazzygirl -> RE: not to crave,demand,expect..? (7/26/2009 6:03:55 PM)
my wants are met when He decides to meet them. my cravings are fullfilled at his desire and pace. my needs he meets the moment he realizes there is a need... not a want.. not a desire.. but a need. see the difference?

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