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CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Deep Breath...This is Going to Hurt A LOT (7/25/2009 8:17:29 AM)
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quote:
Direct and to the point. Got it. Do you usually know there's something up before it comes out? If so, are you accepting of delays in communicating what is going on? I would rather imagine, just as I do in every day life, that one look and I would likely know (provided we had been together for some time).
I almost always know when there is something wrong. Sometimes, delays are unavoidable, but I have no patience for making -excuses- to attempt to put off facing an uncomfortable discussion. As a general rule, I think that I would prefer to focus on my family, so if I see something is happening there, even if I have something that -might- have been important to take care of elsewhere, I will be worried first about my family, which will trash my overall productivity. If I'm out of the area when something happens and there is a delay in time before I'll get back (hours, not days), then don't tell me when I'm on the road, driving... but if I'm in a hotel somewhere else and something happens, and it would have been a couple of days before I'd go home, tell me, and let ME decide whether I will cut my trip short, because that is -my- decision to make.
Sometimes, though, the people in my life can sort their shit out without my knowledge or interference, and I hang with some people who prefer that modus operendi on occasion, so despite my need to control things, with those folks I direct that need elsewhere until they let me know that they've either got it sorted out or that they need me to step in.For the folks who handle things best if someone gives them direction, it usually works easier if they just get in there and say it, and putting it off isn't going to make it easier, even if you -think- you're putting it off for -my- benefit. Tell me as I'm leaving for work if it came up during the night. I'd rather know, and be able to make a decision about how I want to respond than not know and wonder, all day, whether it was my imagination or whether there really was something going on.
For the most part, our servants don't have the option of not letting us know that something is messed up -- it disturbs the household and, typically, their service suffers when they're in turmoil, so our general expectation is that they will speak up and let us know what is going on. Depending on the servant, we may accept "this is happening and I have it under control", or we may require a more comprehensive hand in resolution, but not saying something is -never- an option, especially for me, because yes, I -do- know when someone in my household is in turmoil, and, being the insatiably curious, chaotic person that I am, I have to know why or it distracts me from everything else in my day.
Dame Calla
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