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Too "extreme" in play? - 7/24/2009 3:19:04 PM

Vikingboy

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Joined: 9/7/2005
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Well, there is no easy way to say this, but I have been seeing a nice lady, who has been playing with me for awhile.
She is in her prime, a lovely 45 year old, bbw that is just perfect.
There is a catch though, she isn't seeking slaves, and she is just playing every now and again so i'm still waiting for some kind hearted (or cold hearted) mistress to pick me up and use me as she pleases.

But, the thing that is bothering me, is kind of a weird one and I would like to hear opinions about it if anybody knows what i'm talking about.

I'm used to hard, and I mean really hard physical abuse whilst playing. But the thing is, i'm going much further then I used to, I like crawing for more pain and to the brink of almost blacking out because of pain or pleasure.

So my question is, am I going too far without saying anything or is this normal for a slave?

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RE: Too "extreme" in play? - 7/24/2009 3:27:58 PM

GambitLeBeau

Posts: 76
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Lancashire, UK
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It's a kink. Not particularly common, but not unique. Just be open about it with any Mistress you play with, and see how they feel.

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RE: Too "extreme" in play? - 7/24/2009 4:49:04 PM

DarkSteven

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I'm totally lost. You and she are both okay with the level of play you're at, and you're asking if it's okay.

Sure. As long as there's no physical damage, and you have a safeword if you need it, you're fine.

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RE: Too "extreme" in play? - 7/24/2009 11:47:11 PM

Vikingboy

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Joined: 9/7/2005
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Thanks for the answear both of you, DarkSteven, you actually got very close to my badly explained mess.
What I mean is I don't use the safeword and I don't want it to stop - that is what i'm a bit scared about - is it normal to enjoy the abuse so much that it might physically hurt or damage me?

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RE: Too "extreme" in play? - 7/25/2009 12:48:30 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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it's normal for YOU.

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RE: Too "extreme" in play? - 7/25/2009 1:00:43 AM

LadySweetOrSour

Posts: 1415
Joined: 3/21/2009
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It's more of a health and legal issue than anything else. If you are damaged permanently, obviously that's bad. If you are severely hurt and hospital is needed, the cops might be called and they could press charges, even if you don't (not sure about the rest of the world, but here they can charge people off their own bat). What about if it goes to far and you suffer severe brain damage/death?

Pleasure is important, but not at the risk of permanent damage or death. Maybe you could try easing it back a little ( so says a Domme, not a sub!!). Or make sure you play with people who are very experienced and know exactly what they're doing. Hard play in the wrong hands can be disasterous.

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RE: Too "extreme" in play? - 7/25/2009 1:08:59 AM

GYPZYQUEEN

Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vikingboy

But the thing is, i'm going much further then I used to, I like crawing for more pain and to the brink of almost blacking out because of pain or pleasure.

So my question is, am I going too far without saying anything or is this normal for a slave?

VB..

I am reading between the lines here..

DO you feel your Mistress would not know when to stop?
...that it is all up to you????..IT SHOULD NOT BE
YOU need to trust her enough to push those limits but know WHEN to stop.

YOU say you have safe words therefore that is ONE signal to stop from you...do you feel she would go on forever if you did not use your word?
Is that what you want?SHE IS THE safe container for the session..
and it it her reponsibility and yours to be safe.
To play SAFE there should not be HARM...do you understand that???

You say "
Am I going too far without saying anything?"
DOES this mean you worry that you are not "normal" to want to pass out?"or that you are fukked up to want to pass out from it?

#1...this is your process..if you have questions they need to be addressed with your DOM and within..

#2..there is something you wish to see as to your limits..
again it is YOUR process and it needs to be PLANNED..not just
bend over and never say anything

#3..if you are concerned that you are not normal..what is normal??
you have a need to extreme and it can be fullfilled in several ways that are functional within BDSM..if you go past what you think is normal and functional then you will need to stop if it becomes a danger to yourself or others or.know there are consequences and be willing to live with them...or risk more..in the extreme

I think you are in the midst of a transition to checking your tolerance and ,limits and may be FRIGHTENED as to how far you would go..???
KNOW this..how far you may wish to go may not be safe and your limit of extreme may get out of hand..be prepared..and mature in processing this and knowing that all things that are thought about do not have to be acted on...

be well and safe...

GQ

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RE: Too "extreme" in play? - 7/25/2009 8:03:31 AM

xiam

Posts: 148
Joined: 7/1/2007
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quote:

that is what i'm a bit scared about - is it normal to enjoy the abuse so much that it might physically hurt or damage me?

I would just make sure that one, whoever you are playing with knows this about you and two, you really trust her to know better than you when to stop!

In the OP you said something about playing to "brink of almost blacking out". Have you blacked out before? This is not uncommon for me with really intense emotional or physical play. For clarity, i am not referring to passing out, but more being in the living room one minute and finding myself in the bedroom the next. It seems like i merely blinked and it happened, despite the fact several minutes or even an hour has passed, and i will have no recollection of anything that i did, said, or what happened to me during that period.

Definitely let her know if you have a tendency towards something like that as well and refer back to number two in my original statement! :D

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RE: Too "extreme" in play? - 7/25/2009 9:11:34 PM

Mistressbinature

Posts: 64
Joined: 7/13/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vikingboy

Well, there is no easy way to say this, but I have been seeing a nice lady, who has been playing with me for awhile.
She is in her prime, a lovely 45 year old, bbw that is just perfect.
There is a catch though, she isn't seeking slaves, and she is just playing every now and again so i'm still waiting for some kind hearted (or cold hearted) mistress to pick me up and use me as she pleases.

But, the thing that is bothering me, is kind of a weird one and I would like to hear opinions about it if anybody knows what i'm talking about.

I'm used to hard, and I mean really hard physical abuse whilst playing. But the thing is, i'm going much further then I used to, I like crawing for more pain and to the brink of almost blacking out because of pain or pleasure.

So my question is, am I going too far without saying anything or is this normal for a slave?

It is simple, failure to communicate with your Dominant is wrong, be it a submissive, slave or in your case, pain slut

(in reply to Vikingboy)

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RE: Too "extreme" in play? - 7/27/2009 8:46:29 AM

Vikingboy

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Joined: 9/7/2005
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Thank you all respectfully for your answers - they have given me a lot to think about.

With respect,
vikingboy.

(in reply to Mistressbinature)

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RE: Too "extreme" in play? - 7/27/2009 8:55:03 AM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
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Viking, I suggest you find a nice Mistress whos into needle play. Theres A LOT of pain involved, with very little injury, also, possibly someone into skin suspension. DO YOUR RESEARCH FIRST. Dont let just any person stick a needle or hook into you. Ask the other members in your local community, your best bet is to find someone with medial training. Get your local communities opinion on who os the most talented and who has the most esperience in what your looking for.

Your not wrong, your not abnormal, but you DO need to do your research first.

be safe, and have fun.

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RE: Too "extreme" in play? - 7/27/2009 12:01:50 PM

leakylee

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Joined: 7/2/2004
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if i might throw my thoughts in here, is it possible that the levels of play and what you are enduring are just a tad bit scary? are you going places that maybe your conceived notion of what is acceptable in heavy play is being tested??

if that is your issue, i am totally there with you brother!!!

if it is something that makes even heavy players go DAMN!! you do wonder if you are losing your brains a wee bit.. course it helps if you have any (meaning myself) i personally am finding that it is once again about some self exploration, redefining my own perceptions, (another wards if you are walking, maybe hobbling, away, if you arent suffering any serious ill effects mentally or physically. then what the hell?) this is only a situation that you can call and resolve.

isnt it a great place to be?!?

smooches
lee

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RE: Too "extreme" in play? - 7/28/2009 12:16:19 AM

LPslittleclip

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Joined: 9/29/2007
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discuss it with your Domme and make sure what it is that you want and is safe. im a nurse so didn't like needles before.. now i cant get enough and staples too. don't be afraid to explore new things but as always research and learn about it first.

(in reply to leakylee)

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