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If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 12:44:41 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
If a lady is going to read an email here, the least she can do is respond, even if it is to say, "Thanks for no thanks."  Right?  The names below are make believe, not real names.

My friend Julie set up a collarme account in an effort to meet a local potential playmate. Her profile was very clear with regards to what she was seeking.  The first day she logged on, she had 46 emails waiting for her and she was so excited!!!  She's very polite and proper and is the type of girl that wouldn't ignore an email, she said, so long as they took the time to contact her the least she could do is reply!

The first email was from Dashing76 and he was from a different state, but sent a very long email (although it looked a bit cut and paste). She replied no thank you, that she was seeking local, but wished him well on his search.

The second email was from Bobhappyman, and he was seeking something very different from what she listed in her profile, but he was very charming in his email. She replied and thanked Bob and wished him well.

She realized 12 more emails had appeared! It must be because she logged on, and it took her a few minutes to read the emails from Dashing and Bob, and reply. But how exciting, she thought!

She got to email number three from Lucasloveslashes.   Lucas seemed way too young for her and was a party animal and he asked for her IM information. She replied to Lucas and said she was not interested but thanked him.

Three more emails arrived!
She moved to the next email, and it was from Donnydevil. His email simply said, "hey."  Well, she had said she would answer them all, but she didn't look at his profile, because two more emails arrived, and she knew she was going to have to speed things up. So she replied to Donny and wished him well in his search.

The next email was from Robert65 and wow, it was fantastic!!  She read it and then wanted to respond, but realized she needed to catch up on her other emails so she could spend quality time on his email. And plus, two more emails arrived, including a familiar name -- Dashing! Wow, she had just responded to him and told him no thank you and he was already writing back. She checked that email and it was very nice and polite and asked her if she could tell him why she didn't think there was a match. She went back and re-read his first email, then looked at his profile and tried to think of a polite way to answer; after all, he went to the trouble to write back...so she started writing it. And then two more new emails popped up! 

She sent the response to Dashing and tried to briefly summarize her thoughts, and then went to the next unread email, which was from Piper.  Piper was into a smoking fetish and she did not smoke! In fact, her profile indicated she was involved in anti-smoking charity work.  She found it odd that a smoking fetishist would contact her, but she politely responded and wished him well on his search.

Then something odd happened - it was Robert65 emailing her again! She had not even written to him yet, but she knew she had planned to. She checked out his new email real quick, it said, "Hey I saw you read my email and didn't respond. I have to say how disappointed I am -- oh well."  Wow! She was so upset that he misread her lack of immediate response to mean anything, so she hurriedly responded to him and told him she planned to write later. He responded, "Great...although I have heard that before. I won't hold my breath."

That made her frown. Oh well, she thought, still 30 or more emails to go, she would find her match.

She saw that two of the men she had written to, to say "thanks but no thanks," had responded to her. One said simply, "Ok thanks for letting me know" and the other called her a fat bitch.  Wow, she was not expecting that, but it did not deter her!

She opened the next email from HotCouple77.  She wasn't looking for a poly relationship so she politely responded and told them this, and then moved to the next email from FirecrackerFil.  It was a picture of a naked penis.  Wow, she wondered, how do you respond to that.  She was determined to answer all emails, so she wrote to Fil and told him she was not interested and wished him well in his search.

By then, four new emails had popped into her inbox! 
She was not making ANY progress apparently!

Of the new emails, half of them were from men she had already politely emailed. One of them asked if she had any friends that would be interested in, another asked for just a chance, and another insulted her and called her a fake.  She realized that every 10 emails she answered, she'd receive 5 more for merely being online, 4 more responses from the 10 she answered (half of which were insults) and at that rate it would take hours to get through her email box.  Worse, she was now in a bit of a bad mood, because the emails were getting so mean.

Julie called me up and asked if there was a better way.  What do you think?

Akasha


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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 12:48:31 PM   
TurboJugend


Posts: 481
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline 		send a message
recieve one
reply with a no....block?
3 to 4 messages from 1 person max. that way

(in reply to AAkasha)
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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 12:55:14 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Eh...I'd just tell em all to fuck off.

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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 12:55:52 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		A simple no thanks to emails that don't meet her needs is sufficient, then any further correspondence from that sig can be ignored.
Someone who wants an immediate reply after reading an email is probably way too high maintenance for most people.
I think your friend needs to get a bit more ruthless with her email account.

(in reply to TurboJugend)
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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 12:56:22 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline 		Mail filters are your friend.



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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 12:57:24 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
There is a strategy of blocking addresses when you reply, "Thanks but no thanks," but then when a man writes back to say "Ok I appreciate you taking the time to respond," and finds he is blocked, he may start a new account just to write to her and call her a rude bitch for blocking him "for nothing."

I'm just sayin'...


Akasha


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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 12:59:30 PM   
TurboJugend


Posts: 481
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

It was a picture of a naked penis.  Wow, she wondered, how do you respond to that


answer for her to send
quote:

to small

(in reply to AAkasha)
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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 1:05:31 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Call me rude it does not bother me. NO I do not respond to all the email that I get. Once in a while I do but usually not. Why? because I have found most start out as polite conversation only to end up with the person on the other end wanting more then just that, even though my profile clearly states that I am looking for nothing.

So yeah I often don't reply unless its someone here who I chat with from time to time. It is just easier that way.

~Lashra

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(in reply to AAkasha)
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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 1:08:26 PM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline 		I dont reply to all of mine, mostly if I do reply your a friend, someone I find interesting, or your a rude prick and I wanna play one upmanship for a little, then if i get bored or annoyed, I block the asshole.

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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 1:09:11 PM   
SoulPiercer


Posts: 374
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline 		Oooo .. ooooo.. ooooo.. *waving hand from the back of the class*

Don't waste time responding to any emails where it is obvious the sender did not read your profile.
Even better, if you don't want to respond to a message for any reason, don't.

I do like the way you illustrated this scenario. In short: chicks, be they sub or dom, get lots of email. Trying to respond to all of them to avoid being labeled RUDE is pointless.

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(in reply to TurboJugend)
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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 1:10:22 PM   
ShadowsLap


Posts: 36
Joined: 2/26/2006
Status: offline 		Your friend has the right mindset to give and receive respect.  Tell her to NEVER lose that.

Unfortunately, I am very familiar with the cycle of events she is being bombarded with.  My only suggestion is to send a polite response the first time.  Once you have explained why you feel there's no match (usually for me, it's that I don't date long distance) and said, "Thanks, but  no thank you,"  - it is time to move on.  I have found that it is easier to simply delete subsequent emails from repeat offenders.  Don't read them because most will only put you in a foul mood because there are many, desperate posers/players out there who think your submissiveness gives them carte blanche to treat you like a doormat.  Tell her to be alert and stay true to herself and what she is looking for.  Best of luck in her search!

SL

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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 1:13:28 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		 You nailed it Akasha! Is there a better way? Hmmm, I dont know. I still most of the time say thanks but no thanks but I actually havent responded at all to some. This is a learned response. WHy? my profile says local connections. You have e-mails from people with nothing on their profile and they signed up today, I am just going to ignore.

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Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 1:17:48 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		If its polite, i send a polite response. If its rude, i wont reply. If they respond with more rude, they are blocked.

Just that simple.

A quick response to someone you may wish to talk too....

"I read your mail. Thank you for your interest. My time is short on line right now, but, I will be getting back with you later when i can concentrate fully."

If they reply with rude or snarky comments, be thankful you didnt waste your time. They wont be worth the effort. Everyone has a life.. dont let anyone make you feel less for not responding "quick" enough.


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If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 1:19:15 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I generally go with the thanks but no thanks method.  As far as follow up email, if I get a polite response back, often I will respond again... this sometimes leads to getting to know interesting people, most often it dies a natural death.  As far as rude responses, it depends on whether I'm in the mood for a scrap..LOL  if not, then I delete and ignore. 

Julie might want to check to see, first, who has actually READ (or at least viewed..no guarantee that they actually have read it unless they mention something specific from it) her profile.  Respond to those first, and as for the others, maybe wait to read them until she's dealt with the ones who've looked at her profile.

And let her know that in a few weeks the volume of mail should drop a bit :)


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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 1:22:39 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

when a man writes back to say "Ok I appreciate you taking the time to respond," and finds he is blocked, he may start a new account just to write to her


A perfect example - anybody who has the time and inclination to do that is all sorts of things, but not somebody who has time to play or f**k... he is setting up new accounts, instead...

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 1:25:32 PM   
TurboJugend


Posts: 481
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline 		That is indeed possible...but how many will actually do that.
IF you can reduce 80% of all messages..then you already have more time to relax here

(in reply to antipode)
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RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 1:26:01 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		you can start out polite, and like others have said, one 'no thank you' should be enough.  if theyre jerks after that then they clearly dont deserve any more of youre time.

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 1:28:28 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		i send emails to Ladies all the time. i expect no replies and have got no replies . i think the principle of recovery is great expect to be frustrated and you wont be disappointed,  expect to be disappointed and you wont be frustrated. Do i hold any grudge against the Ladies who dont reply. No . And for people who constantly email when they are told no. Well excuse my french but those subs are just pricks, they are not submissive at all, they are disrespectful b******s   men you have to accept when the Lady says No , She means it, stop bothering Her
kevin

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 1:33:49 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		And yes i put my hand up. At times i have acted like a b*****d i have indeed. i am ashamed of myself for doing that. So im not being hypocritical here, i think us men need to wise up. We are not god's gift to every Woman on this site. We need to expect less and be more humble
kevin

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE - 7/25/2009 1:41:29 PM   
cromaH


Posts: 25
Joined: 6/18/2009
From: Hungary
Status: offline 		Dear Akasha,   It is not sure, that all “not answering” persons are rough one, since there are a lot of   foreigners, who can read yet only,  for them the writing is 
a more problematic case...


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