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GooeyBlob -> The Trials and Tribulations of an Evil Arch-Villain (7/25/2009 4:55:52 PM)
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Being the frightful swine, cad and general rotter that I am, I thought it was high time that I shared some of my attempts at world domination with you. A forum is a dreadfully impersonal space, but I'm sure you'll forgive me once you have heard my tale.
As an evil arch-villain intent on taking over the world, my plans have thus far failed to produce satisfactory results. Some might say that my plans are not up to the job, or that my execution is lacking. Naturally, I prefer to think that I'm just unlucky.
Take the other week, for example. I concocted a dastardly ruse to reduce civilisation itself to anarchy and chaos, from which I alone could deliver the people of this planet. How would I achieve this? Simple: I would stand outside the railings of the local infants' schools at playtime, and shout very rude words at the little blighters. With this filth ringing in their ears, they would take their newly-acquired lexicon back to their parents, and from there chaos would ensue.
The theory was perfect. However, in practice, it didn't quite work out that way. You see, I had the misfortune of misjudging the innocence or otherwise of the local chavs' offspring. When I let rip with my array of naughtiness, I was confronted with a volley of abuse far worse than that which I was employing, a tirade of mucky words so profoundly shocking it might have been conjured up from the bowels of Hades itself.
Consequently, it was I, and not they, who ended up running away in tears with a considerably expanded vocabulary.
The moral of the story? Oh, who cares. Morals are for others...
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