-=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (Full Version)

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ResidentSadist -> -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/26/2009 1:06:48 PM)

-=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=-

Enjoying or even preferring leather floggers, a rope… blindfolds … handcuffs or etc, doesn’t necessarily mean you are “leather lifestyle”.  It only means you are kinky and you like leather sex.  I suggest you enjoy your kink and do not be misguided into thinking you have to become a Dom/sub/etc to enjoy your erotic desires or find a partner.  Follow your passions and pleasures as an unranked, uncategorized person that likes kinky sex.

You do not have to untangle the political struggle the American leather subculture endlessly engages in order to define itself.  Since the 40s there have been politics pulling us in one direction or another.  Their wasn’t even that much leather until leather clad fans of The Wild One appeared in 1953.  The very first origins of the "leather lifestylers" were routed more in uniforms, rank, protocol and discipline with some S&M prisoner type tortures and humiliation thrown in.  Why should your love of leather indentify you with a society that sprang from protocol and rank?   

The vast majority of the alt sex communities are swingers.  Most swingers are pretty kinky.  Go forth with your kinky whips and ropes to enjoy yourself.  Forget the leather subculture, its origins, politics, protocols and definitions.  Go forth as an open minded, undefined sexual explorer!  . . . but, do not come back here and post your discoveries as leather advice because you have been “living the leather lifestyle” for 2 years now and are an expert now.  All you have learned about is sex... not the leather.  That would be like getting a blow job and claiming to be dentist because you have an extensive oral knowledge.  A “swinger with a whip”, or at the end of a whip, is not an educated Dom/sub/etc.

So for those newcomers that follow more than carnal passions and interest in leather, be wary of the ill advice from many swingers trolling as Doms/subs/etc who post prolifically in BDSM community forums instead of their own swingers' communities.  Leather sex does not mean leather lifestyle!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
References:
Leather Lifestyle & Evolution 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leather_subculture
http://www.black-rose.com/cuiru/archive/4-2/oldguard.html
http://www.leatherviews.com/kinkyinfo/9930.htm
http://www.iron-rose.com/IR/docs/old_guard.htm
http://www.iron-rose.com/IR/docs/olddays.htm
http://www.iron-rose.com/vijohnson/docs/blic1197.htm
http://www.vanilla-not.com/reallife/History_Baldwin.htm
http://web.archive.org/web/20020607181721/http://www.leatherpage.com/baldwin.htm
http://web.archive.org/web/20031005150847/http://www.leatherpage.com/baldwin.htm
http://web.archive.org/web/20050307095553/www.leatherpage.com/columns/baldwin/LLC3Keynote.htm
 
Protocol
http://www.bearpair.com/slavemike/rules.htm
http://web.archive.org/web/20030601071553/http://www.queernet.org/deviant/sscodes.htm
http://web.archive.org/web/20071220023719/http://www.westom.com/leather/daddy_boy.htm
http://web.archive.org/web/20071120050252/http://www.westom.com/leather/protocol.htm
http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/Lifestyle/protocol.htm
http://web.archive.org/web/20020403115024/http://www.drummer.com/magazine/opinion_09-2001.html
http://web.archive.org/web/20030124024327/http://www.drummer.com/




Apocalypso -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/26/2009 1:08:33 PM)

Leather lifestyle is not a monolithic grouping.  It was heavily regional, apart from anything else.




Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/26/2009 1:22:30 PM)

Naked skin slathered up in vanilla flavored oil
slithering away upon black leather couches.

Swinging troll dollies just can't help themselves
you know.

There's a difference between bend over and let's
fuck and bend over I'll drive.




CatdeMedici -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/26/2009 1:28:33 PM)

Nor does it mean "leathermen" exclusively or collectively.




ResidentSadist -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/26/2009 1:32:07 PM)

You said “monolithic grouping” and then spoke of regions.  I specifically mentioned the “American leather subculture”.  That seems region specific as compared to some branches of British BDSM with school boy roots.  Can you expand on what you meant? 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

Leather lifestyle is not a monolithic grouping.  It was heavily regional, apart from anything else.




LillyoftheVally -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/26/2009 1:34:55 PM)

To be honest all we can ever know about is our own lives, our own relationships and how we decide to define them. This forum isn't exclusive to my knowledge, BDSM encapsulates kink therefore they/we/I are more than welcome to post as much or as little as they/we/I like. (sorry dunno whether I have been deemed worthy of posting here or not)




Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/26/2009 2:07:54 PM)

Question?
What if somebody ain't Leather and ain't a Swinger?
Where does that leave them in the framework of things?




LadyPact -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/26/2009 2:08:00 PM)

Maybe we could term it the same way as some folks have with poly.  The example being that there's a difference between poly and poly fuckery.  The same could be said for leather lifestyle and leather fuckery.




Apocalypso -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/26/2009 2:28:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
You said “monolithic grouping” and then spoke of regions.  I specifically mentioned the “American leather subculture”.  That seems region specific as compared to some branches of British BDSM with school boy roots.  Can you expand on what you meant? 


I'm specifically talking about the American leather subculture.  On reflection, it's possible the term "regions" is Anglocentric.  If so, I apologise.  What I meant isn't that there are deviations along national lines.   I'm saying that it's important to remember that, while there may be some commonalities and generalisations you can make about the American leather subculture as a whole, it's vital to remember that the accepted codes and practises within that depend on what specific part of the US you're talking about.  Possibly by state, but also smaller geographical areas.  Now, there's obviously some 'bleeding through' that took place between one area and another- sharing of values and practises etc.  I'd see there as being two main reasons for that.  The first would be that, as the vast bulk of the 'first wave' of leather were ex military that obviously gave them a common frame of reference to work within.  The second would be, based on geographical factors as these differences were, crossover was relatively easy.  People travel, after all.

As slight tangent, the latter factor strongly differentiates it from the British schoolboy experience you mention.  That's actually far more dependent on the British class system than geography.  So, I can honestly say I wouldn't know where to start there.  Because the BDSMers in question are several socio-economic stratas above me, in terms of background.  I only really know anything about those schools from reading Molesworth books.  I don't think I've ever met anybody who went to the upper echelon of the private school system.  Entirely different worlds from each other...

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally
To be honest all we can ever know about is our own lives, our own relationships and how we decide to define them. This forum isn't exclusive to my knowledge, BDSM encapsulates kink therefore they/we/I are more than welcome to post as much or as little as they/we/I like. (sorry dunno whether I have been deemed worthy of posting here or not)
I think you're jumping the gun here.  Wanting to preserve the leather lifestyle (which I suspect is where the OP is coming from) isn't the same as hostility to other groupings within BDSM.  Actually, a lot of reasons for leather only events are very similar to the ones for U35 munches...

Sure, there's exclusion and arguably elitism from some leathermen.  That's hardly one way though.  It's also the case that there are far too many people who try to play down the development of leather on US BDSM.  I hate to say it's motivated by homophobia, but I'm hardpressed to work out what else it could be.  Equally, many, though not all, pansexual events aren't as inclusive as they claim from what people have told me.  Bit of a whiff of "we need more bisexual chicks at our events" some of the time.  And it's absolutely the case that gay men, and for that matter transfolk, are made subtly or unsubtly to feel unwelcome at some 'mainstream' BDSM events, whatever the official line.  That doesn't necessarily justify responding in the same way.  I feel it goes some way to explaining it however.





beargonewild -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/26/2009 3:36:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

-=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=-

Enjoying or even preferring leather floggers, a rope… blindfolds … handcuffs or etc, doesn’t necessarily mean you are “leather lifestyle”.  It only means you are kinky and you like leather sex.  I suggest you enjoy your kink and do not be misguided into thinking you have to become a Dom/sub/etc to enjoy your erotic desires or find a partner.  Follow your passions and pleasures as an unranked, uncategorized person that likes kinky sex.



In regards to this paragraph, I do fully agree with you. Coming from my POV, leather for me is a fetish/kink. To say otherwise is to be making a claim on something which is based upon too little or no knowledge of a "leather lifestyle."  In a way it is sad to admit but I have no bloody idea what this whole "Leather Lifestyle" is about. Granted there are many books which explain it, yet I find that in most cases, a book is not able to fully explain the nuances that a person, who is part of a Leather family and/or lives the "Leather Lifestyle,"  is able to relate on a more personal level.




ranja -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/27/2009 10:35:51 AM)

I own a leather cap... i sometimes wear leather jackets... i have a leather gloves and a hand bag and leather shoes and boots... i have leather furniture in my house on which we occasionally have sex yes even using leather whips and cuffs, but plastic ones as well... i use a leather cloth to wash my windows... and as i am ageing i start to look more leathery than i did when i was younger...
my dog wears a leather collar and his leash is leather

There is most definitely a lot of leather in my lifestyle...

edited to add.... oh and then there is my Husbands leather belt




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/27/2009 11:49:16 AM)

Hi Kalon,

What has you taking up arms again in regards to the swinger vs Leather mantra?  That has me pretty curious.

When I incorporated and ran the local private membership dungeon, and was involved publically with lobbying for and with NCSF, I certainly identified more along the lines of a Leather Lifestyler.  My hopes and ideals ran more toward the freedoms and rights of BDSM participants.  As an advocate for BDSM lifestyles as well as an active participant in aid for individuals of domestic voilence, I think that my mindset (not what I wore) had a common kinship with other like-minded inviduals - whether they identified as Swinger, Tops, Bottoms, Dominants, Submissives or Slave.  I've been a collared slave, a Professionally (and handsomely) endorsed Dominant, as well as a member of a couple poly households.  These days, I tend to associate more with the swingers lifestyle, and have less interest in the authority exchange as I once did.  I wonder where I fall into this whole delineation of the whip-swinging, Dom, not-the-Dom ideal.  [:D]

I think I'll just take your advise and boldly chart my own course - call me what you will.  I'm certain I've answered to better and worse !

HUGS and LICKS sent to you and yours,

WinD




Leonidas -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/27/2009 12:56:08 PM)

This is one of those odd OPs that looks like it ought to be a response to someone else's post.  I don't even think that there have been any recent threads where the concensus was that leather sex = leather lifestyle.  OP, are you just wanting to advertise yourself as an authority, or did something that I'm not seeing prompt this thread?

My admittedly limited exposure to the "leather lifestyle", frankly, looked a lot like when my Grandad used to belong to the Masons/Scottish Rite.  Lots of conventions.  Lots of meetings shrouded in mystique.  Hidden meanings and customs that separate the "knowledgable people" from not.  A lot of pride in ritual and history  And a semi-formal social hierarchy.  If you tossed a little fetish wear and SM into the middle of my grandad's lodge meeting, I think you'd pretty much have the "Leather Lifestyle".  Just my impression.




Arpig -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/27/2009 10:02:26 PM)

Smacks slightly of one true wayism to me. Why is somebody not into the "leather lifestyle" just a kinky swinger and not a Dom or a sub? Is the American leather subculture the only place one finds Doms and subs...that will come as a bit of a surprise to many on here.




Missokyst -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/27/2009 10:45:13 PM)

*Yawn* Yet another post that implies one way is the definitive direction toward the true path.




punkishone -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/28/2009 9:20:09 AM)

Boyfriend LOVES leather, the way it feels. I on the other hand CANNOT STAND leather, the smell, the feel. It also dosen't help that I'm vegetarian. Anything that looks like patent leather, that stretches, and is good and tight is what I like. He can wear it all he likes, and we have a few "toys" made of leather, still almost hitting my limit.




BitaTruble -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/28/2009 10:07:31 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

So for those newcomers that follow more than carnal passions and interest in leather, be wary of the ill advice from many swingers trolling as Doms/subs/etc who post prolifically in BDSM community forums instead of their own swingers' communities.  Leather sex does not mean leather lifestyle!


I agree with you, RS. Leather sex does not equal leather lifestyle. That said, this is not a leathermen's board. It's a BDSM board which is a much broader umbrella and since the vast majority who find their way here are 'not' leathermen, it's going to be just fine for them. It's a good starting place if, for nothing else, it allows them the opportunity to see what they don't want, discover that there's something missing and keep searching for that 'they don't quite know what'.. and if they're supposed to, they'll find the leather lifestyle to which they belong.

It's like living in the United States. A whole bunch of people do, but the population of Rhode Island is much smaller and the culture of Texas is vastly different from what you'll find in Hawaii. There's room for everyone in the States, but not everyone wants to live in Rhode Island. If they do, then they hop over http://www.I_Live_In_Rhode_Island.com and it's all good.





Mercnbeth -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/28/2009 10:19:11 AM)

quote:

...If you tossed a little fetish wear and SM into the middle of my grandad's lodge meeting, I think you'd pretty much have the "Leather Lifestyle"...


from this slave's experience with the Masonic Lodge and Scottish Rite Bodies, you'd certainly have to relax the restrictions regarding the exclusion of women and atheists, institute the process of voting on and potentially blackballing petitioner's for membership, set up a petitioning process, teach everyone to read the coded ritual books, raise a whole bunch of money, fund and participate in youth groups, build and staff charitable hospitals and nursing homes, etc...but you might be on to something!!![:)]




LadyPact -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/28/2009 10:35:06 AM)

No, Bita, it's not a Leatherman's board.  However, like it or, we're part of those who frequent these boards, just like anyone else.  Our ways do work for us.  Otherwise, we'd be doing something else.

Eric does actually have a point.  One of the first lines that some will tend to use when trying to coerce others into thinking they have more knowledge or experience than they really do is to start proclaiming that they are leather or old guard trained.  Naive or uneducated people eat this up.  They become an easy score, and are forgotten in no time.  Granted, there are people in the leather community who do this as well, but more often, it's a case of someone that nobody in the actual leather community has never heard of.  It's just a line some people use to get laid.

I won't speak for Eric, but it tends to tick Me off. 




GreedyTop -> RE: -=Leather sex does not mean “leather lifestyle”=- (7/28/2009 10:37:23 AM)

YAY FOR LEATHERSEX!!!




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