RE: Validity and Trust while on line (Full Version)

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CelticPrince -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/28/2009 10:18:01 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

During a recent convo this subject came up for discussion and the different responses / applications that may come up with a relationship whether it is real time, on line or a mixture of both depending on the relationship. Thus I present this perplexing problem to the vast knowledged that is displayed here on a daily basis........... errrrrrr pretty smart anyway.

From either the D or the "s" perspective how faithfull are instructions, suggestions, or orders followed when on line with no actual ability to determine if they have been performed?

CP


If I haven't spent real physical time with a person, I don't trust them to submit........period. Which is why I won't get involved in any sort of online M/s dynamic.

quote:

If I haven't spent real physical time with a person, I don't trust them to submit........period. Which is why I won't get involved in any sort of online M/s dynamic.

_____________________________


LT,

Well setting aside the restriction for a moment; if you have spent some face to face time with the "s" is the trust/expectancy there then?

CP




DesFIP -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/28/2009 11:03:30 AM)

For us, if he forgot my schedule and gave me an order I couldn;t follow, I would write as soon as possible and tell him why I couldn't do it. He understood and it was no big thing. But then we talked about everything so we would work it out.




Zeknpet -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/28/2009 2:14:08 PM)

To me that's easy. Give tasks with verifiable results.




SailingBum -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/28/2009 2:24:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince


From either the D or the "s" perspective how faithfull are instructions, suggestions, or orders followed when on line with no actual ability to determine if they have been performed?

CP


I could really care less if she comply with my instructions.  Were I so inclined to do the online thang...  it would be to have hot n steamy phone phun.  Sultry voice is a plus ...Southern accent may require a heart montier.

BadOne




kiwisub12 -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/28/2009 2:37:14 PM)

My somewhat jaded attitude about online and instructions come directly from listening to subs at a munch laugh about doms instructing subs to do things, and how they really respond.  [8|]




kallisto -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/28/2009 6:55:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

In My case with clip, I'd say the chances are pretty good.  On more than one occasion, I've had people in other locations send Me unsolicited comments on how he's behaved at different lifestyle functions in other areas.  Even without My intending it, they've told Me that he's followed his instructions on various things.  I appreciate these types of notes quite a bit.



LP,

Grins, power is a wonderful thing when used properly.

CP


CP, I thought the  very same thing when I read LadyPact's post, but could not think of a way to express my thoughts.   You certainly did, though.      [:)]




Mistressbinature -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/28/2009 7:42:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

During a recent convo this subject came up for discussion and the different responses / applications that may come up with a relationship whether it is real time, on line or a mixture of both depending on the relationship. Thus I present this perplexing problem to the vast knowledged that is displayed here on a daily basis........... errrrrrr pretty smart anyway.

From either the D or the "s" perspective how faithfull are instructions, suggestions, or orders followed when on line with no actual ability to determine if they have been performed?

CP


Depends on the character of the one being asked




stella41b -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/29/2009 1:55:55 AM)

For me online and D/s dynamics don't mix unless I've met someone in real time and formed a successful relationship with them.

However I'm of the opinion that if you can't or are not prepared to keep your word, then it's pointless you getting involved in WIITWD.




Prinsexx -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/29/2009 3:09:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

..Southern accent may require a heart montier.

BadOne


English accents require resuscitation.




stella41b -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/29/2009 3:15:45 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

...Southern accent may require a heart montier.



... or a good dictionary...




janiebelle -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/29/2009 6:53:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b


quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

...Southern accent may require a heart montier.



... or a good dictionary...



Ah declare, Miss Stella, y'all got not a lick a reason to go gettin' ugly to us belles.  <batting eyelashes>
yankee translation:  Hi Stella, please be nice to the redneck girls.  [;)]
j




stella41b -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/29/2009 7:17:03 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: janiebelle

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b


quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

...Southern accent may require a heart montier.



... or a good dictionary...



Ah declare, Miss Stella, y'all got not a lick a reason to go gettin' ugly to us belles.  <batting eyelashes>
yankee translation:  Hi Stella, please be nice to the redneck girls.  [;)]
j



I love people from the South and this includes rednecks but just wish they would speak a little slower at times so I can understand them.




CelticPrince -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/29/2009 10:05:58 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

how faithfull are instructions, suggestions, or orders followed when on line with no actual ability to determine if they have been performed?


You're asking a question to which you then say there is no ability to determine. If you can't determine something, you can't know.


quote:

You're asking a question to which you then say there is no ability to determine. If you can't determine something, you can't know.


antipode,

There are things, tho rare, as complete trust and confidence, which I know from personal experience does exist.

CP




subtlebutterfly -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/29/2009 10:10:58 AM)

If I say I'm going to do something I'm going to do it, but that's just because well I'm me. However, I could never expect the person on the other side to believe me.
buuut the bottom line with me is, I don't believe in online so I'm not going to submit online, did one attempt but lol never again, it felt too stupid, however if a person asked of something non-submissional thing that I could easily do for them then it'd be no more of a problem than real time.




CelticPrince -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/29/2009 6:16:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

I'll be perfectly honest, I haven't always followed orders given to me online. Looking back at this it has a lot to do with the state of the relationship I was in at the time. If I was questioning the Dom's place in my life I didn't feel compelled to do as he asked, especially if I viewed his current request/order to be silly or trivial. I know it's not my decision to make - if an order is given it should be followed - but I just thought I've give a truthful answer.

Also, if the Dom who has given me the order does not bother to check and see if it's been done I tend to disregard further orders. If he can't be bothered, neither can I.

quote:

I'll be perfectly honest, I haven't always followed orders given to me online. Looking back at this it has a lot to do with the state of the relationship I was in at the time. If I was questioning the Dom's place in my life I didn't feel compelled to do as he asked, especially if I viewed his current request/order to be silly or trivial. I know it's not my decision to make - if an order is given it should be followed - but I just thought I've give a truthful answer.

Also, if the Dom who has given me the order does not bother to check and see if it's been done I tend to disregard further orders. If he can't be bothered, neither can I.




CelticPrince -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/29/2009 6:18:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

I'll be perfectly honest, I haven't always followed orders given to me online. Looking back at this it has a lot to do with the state of the relationship I was in at the time. If I was questioning the Dom's place in my life I didn't feel compelled to do as he asked, especially if I viewed his current request/order to be silly or trivial. I know it's not my decision to make - if an order is given it should be followed - but I just thought I've give a truthful answer.

Also, if the Dom who has given me the order does not bother to check and see if it's been done I tend to disregard further orders. If he can't be bothered, neither can I.

quote:

I'll be perfectly honest, I haven't always followed orders given to me online. Looking back at this it has a lot to do with the state of the relationship I was in at the time. If I was questioning the Dom's place in my life I didn't feel compelled to do as he asked, especially if I viewed his current request/order to be silly or trivial. I know it's not my decision to make - if an order is given it should be followed - but I just thought I've give a truthful answer.

Also, if the Dom who has given me the order does not bother to check and see if it's been done I tend to disregard further orders. If he can't be bothered, neither can I.


lizi,

I get where your coming from, but that poses the question as to what he was doing as your dominant in the first place??????

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/29/2009 6:20:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cloudz

The part of the question that struck me was the actual ability to know they have been performed. I don't engage in online instructions to a sub - personal preference. Until we have met, there is little point. I do not own one I have not engaged with in person, so why would I expect him to perform tasks prior to meeting.

quote:

The part of the question that struck me was the actual ability to know they have been performed. I don't engage in online instructions to a sub - personal preference. Until we have met, there is little point. I do not own one I have not engaged with in person, so why would I expect him to perform tasks prior to meeting.


Cloudz,

Well perhaps as a precursor for when you do face him/her .

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/30/2009 8:08:17 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

It so depends on the suggestion or order and the people involved...

How important is it for the Dom that the suggestion/order is followed? if it is very important the Dom should make sure He can check... by certain answers to questions or photographic evidence or the Dom should feel secure enough to simply trust the sub... i notice this seems to be an issue for many Doms... If the Dom gets off by just giving the order with no real interest in whether it is followed or not then obviously the sub needn't bother really... and yes these Doms are out there... they have not much of a plan, just a desire to shock by email... it takes all sorts...

Cyber to me is a quite sexy game which both players get off on so i would be inclined to assume 'orders' are given with the pleasure of the sub in mind... and so if the interest of the sub is being peeked by some sexy suggestion by a dirty minded Dominant she would be quite inclined to follow the order... and be keen to tell him all about it...

Then of course one might just have an idea and it is enough to let the mind run wild and write some wank fodder or is it a realtime task followed by a detailed report? which would be more desirable or give better results?

quote:

It so depends on the suggestion or order and the people involved...

How important is it for the Dom that the suggestion/order is followed? if it is very important the Dom should make sure He can check... by certain answers to questions or photographic evidence or the Dom should feel secure enough to simply trust the sub... i notice this seems to be an issue for many Doms... If the Dom gets off by just giving the order with no real interest in whether it is followed or not then obviously the sub needn't bother really... and yes these Doms are out there... they have not much of a plan, just a desire to shock by email... it takes all sorts...

Cyber to me is a quite sexy game which both players get off on so i would be inclined to assume 'orders' are given with the pleasure of the sub in mind... and so if the interest of the sub is being peeked by some sexy suggestion by a dirty minded Dominant she would be quite inclined to follow the order... and be keen to tell him all about it...

Then of course one might just have an idea and it is enough to let the mind run wild and write some wank fodder or is it a realtime task followed by a detailed report? which would be more desirable or give better results?

_____________________________


ranja,

I agree that it is dependent on the people involved, but not so much the suggestion or order. If it is given by a Dominant for whatever reason, wank fodder as you suggest, or punishment for a perceived violatio, it must be followed. If it is not because it was a half witted order, or the sub just did not feel like; then the relationship should not exist and both sides should look elsewhere for a more compatable partner.

CP




DesFIP -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/30/2009 8:15:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistressbinature
Depends on the character of the one being asked


Or the one asking, or neither.

I am a moral being. But when I blatantly disobeyed a direction received in email to wear stilettoes and a short skirt with no panties on a day I was actually escorting a school class hiking trip to the top of the mountain to watch migrating hawks I don't believe that I suddenly became an untrustworthy immoral bitch.

You could say it was his fault for forgetting that I had told him about this three days earlier. We just chalked it off to real life.




Andalusite -> RE: Validity and Trust while on line (7/30/2009 8:21:26 AM)

I wouldn't consent to submit to someone who I hadn't yet met in person. Neither my Master nor my previous Dominant have been interested in cyber-BDSM or online D/s, so I haven't engaged in it. If my Master gave me an order via that medium, of course, I would comply.




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