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Master 'Styles' - 7/27/2009 11:34:01 PM   
JanMikal


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline 		I've been a Dominant for a long time....well, perhaps I should say I have been dominant, in a less formal sense than is usually meant when one says 'A Dominant'. Personality, etc. But I must admit, I feel a little out of place. Or perhaps out of time.

I've looked around, and I've noticed that a lot of Dom/mes seem to dress, act and play to fit the general perception of the lifestyle by outsiders. I see a lot of Dom/mes dressing in leather, corsets, complex bondage apparel that really seems like more trouble than it's worth. Apparently, I am a more 'old-fashioned' type of Dom; I believe that the ultimate expression of a powerful man is a tailored suit and tie, perhaps a hat and/or walking-stick. Likewise, with a Domme, I see the ultimate expression being one of a classy cocktail dress or gown, with immaculately styled hair and appropriate makeup.

My question is this; is there really a place for someone like me in this culture? Or am I hopelessly dated and outmoded? I have to note that my style is more that of a 'daddy dom', and less of the harsher, more intense variety, which perhaps might inform my style a bit.

What do you all think? Do any of you find this appealing? Is this a 'style' of Master/Dom/etc that you find attractive, or is the leather/latex/etc a must for you?
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RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/27/2009 11:45:02 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

My question is this; is there really a place for someone like me in this culture?

yes
quote:

Or am I hopelessly dated and outmoded?


no

quote:

What do you all think? Do any of you find this appealing?

I'm not clear on what you are asking here

quote:

Is this a 'style' of Master/Dom/etc that you find attractive, or is the leather/latex/etc a must for you?


again, not clear...


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RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/27/2009 11:49:47 PM   
JanMikal


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline 		I would have thought it was fairly clear, no offense. I meant, do the submissives find a Master/Dom/etc in a suit, more of the 'classic' style appealing, or is it more attractive, or even required, for a Dom to 'dress the part', as it were, in all the leather and so on.

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RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/28/2009 12:26:45 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		He can control me quite nicely in shorts and a t shirt.
It has nothing to do with the clothing he wears.

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RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/28/2009 12:52:40 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JanMikal

I would have thought it was fairly clear, no offense. I meant, do the submissives find a Master/Dom/etc in a suit, more of the 'classic' style appealing, or is it more attractive, or even required, for a Dom to 'dress the part', as it were, in all the leather and so on.


it depends on the submissive. 




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Supreme Goddess of Snark
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Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/28/2009 1:16:33 AM   
NIrelandSubF


Posts: 47
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline 		I personally prefer the Dom/me to be dressed casually and the sub not dressed at all when playing. JR generally wears either a suit or just plain trousers and T-shirt, and I usually start out in jeans and top and wind up naked pretty quickly, lol.

It's not a Daddy Dom style of play either, the suit etc is often seen is his little dungeon, surrounded by BDSM gear, while we engage in SM style play. I think it's just whatever both people involved feel comfortable with, rather than a particular style of dress going with a particular style of play.

The Dom/me or myself being dressed up in rubber/leather etc is actually a turn-off for me, it feels staged or something (no offense to those who do like to dress for a scene, it's just my personal feelngs - I'm a casual dresser in all parts of life!). :)

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RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/28/2009 2:43:20 AM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JanMikal

I've been a Dominant for a long time....well, perhaps I should say I have been dominant, in a less formal sense than is usually meant when one says 'A Dominant'. Personality, etc. But I must admit, I feel a little out of place. Or perhaps out of time.

I've looked around, and I've noticed that a lot of Dom/mes seem to dress, act and play to fit the general perception of the lifestyle by outsiders. I see a lot of Dom/mes dressing in leather, corsets, complex bondage apparel that really seems like more trouble than it's worth. Apparently, I am a more 'old-fashioned' type of Dom; I believe that the ultimate expression of a powerful man is a tailored suit and tie, perhaps a hat and/or walking-stick. Likewise, with a Domme, I see the ultimate expression being one of a classy cocktail dress or gown, with immaculately styled hair and appropriate makeup.

My question is this; is there really a place for someone like me in this culture? Or am I hopelessly dated and outmoded? I have to note that my style is more that of a 'daddy dom', and less of the harsher, more intense variety, which perhaps might inform my style a bit.

What do you all think? Do any of you find this appealing? Is this a 'style' of Master/Dom/etc that you find attractive, or is the leather/latex/etc a must for you?


i think leather/latex is more common but i think there's people who prefer your style of dress.

i consider myself to be mostly submissive, but i'm a bit defiant and i have an unusually strong will for someone who's submissive lol. so what i'm saying is there's a variety people who are involved with this lifestyle and you'll find someone eventually


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RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/28/2009 3:37:02 AM   
StoneFox


Posts: 131
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		I'll dress up for a party but if it's just me and another person, it's more comfortable on all levels just to be myself as the situation dictates (anything from dress-pants and blouse to skin).

(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/28/2009 3:48:16 AM   
Rainfire


Posts: 4047
Joined: 1/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JanMikal

I've been a Dominant for a long time....well, perhaps I should say I have been dominant, in a less formal sense than is usually meant when one says 'A Dominant'. Personality, etc. But I must admit, I feel a little out of place. Or perhaps out of time.

I've looked around, and I've noticed that a lot of Dom/mes seem to dress, act and play to fit the general perception of the lifestyle by outsiders. I see a lot of Dom/mes dressing in leather, corsets, complex bondage apparel that really seems like more trouble than it's worth. Apparently, I am a more 'old-fashioned' type of Dom; I believe that the ultimate expression of a powerful man is a tailored suit and tie, perhaps a hat and/or walking-stick. Likewise, with a Domme, I see the ultimate expression being one of a classy cocktail dress or gown, with immaculately styled hair and appropriate makeup.

My question is this; is there really a place for someone like me in this culture? Or am I hopelessly dated and outmoded? I have to note that my style is more that of a 'daddy dom', and less of the harsher, more intense variety, which perhaps might inform my style a bit.

What do you all think? Do any of you find this appealing? Is this a 'style' of Master/Dom/etc that you find attractive, or is the leather/latex/etc a must for you?


Neither Daddy nor I dress in what might be termed "fetish-wear" though he does have some black clothing, not leather or latex. While I have some lingerie, it's lingerie, not fetish gear. What I call "pretties", for wearing around the house when it's just the 2 of us. I do love corsets but that comes from a love of historical clothing, not BDSM, they just happen to intertwine nicely. *winks*

There are many different types of dominants and many different types of submissives. Each person has their unique style and preferences, perhaps why you are noticing the fetish-gear dressed ones are because quite simply - they are more visible than someone casually dressed or in a suit. They will stand out simply by their mode of dressing, though I would hope not because they are jackasses. You will find submissives that NEED the leather/latex/fetish gear and others that don't; it boils down to what they like.

As for Daddy Doms, there are quite a few, and many subs love that style. It's just a matter of finding the right one for you. So no, it's not outdated at all, simply a different style. 


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Or is this the beginning of the end?"
Proud member of the Clan Scarlett O'Hair

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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/28/2009 4:28:33 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		Personally, I am turned off by anyone who feels it necessary to wear a costume of any sort as if being Dominant or submissive or any other character trait can only be displayed via that costume.  How one acts, presents oneself when not in costume is waaaaayyyy more important to me.  Is a cop less a cop when not in uniform?  Is a doctor only a doctor when he dons his white coat?

Costumes are great at play parties or dungeons and such.  Who doesn't like a costume party from time to time?  During our play, Master dresses me up in various costumes to suit a particular mood He is in but I don't wear those items daily nor are they necessary for me to know my place and role in our relationship.  Master wears what He wants.  Period.

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/28/2009 4:49:02 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		Clothes and tools does not a Dominant make :)

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/28/2009 4:54:08 AM   
Rainfire


Posts: 4047
Joined: 1/5/2009
Status: offline 		OP, just as a head's up, I just saw this same post in "Ask A Master". Please be aware that cross-posting is not acceptable in CM's TOS and one of the threads may be pulled by the mods.

Besides, many of us don't stick to just strictly "Ask a Master", "Ask a Mistress" or "Ask a Sub/Slave" categories. Some of us are mouthy and answer where we will.....


_____________________________

"I have sold my soul to the devil for You, will You still love me when I am soiled, stained and souless in my love for You?
Or is this the beginning of the end?"
Proud member of the Clan Scarlett O'Hair

(in reply to JanMikal)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/28/2009 5:30:55 AM   
olena


Posts: 97
Joined: 12/27/2007
Status: offline 		To each their own. This has a bit of one way type thought.

Looking for a relationship then a woman looking for a relationship is probably not going to care how you dress or in all likelihood like that you enjoy dressing in a suit. For some that this is mostly just for kinky fun and some role play the whole dressing up might be important to them as the outfits help set the mood and atmosphere.

In the end everyone has to be themselves and cannot convince others of this is the best way to go about it. Women that want the outfit thing are not your type, no big deal on either end. There are plenty of women as the responses in this thread help show that could care less.


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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/28/2009 5:42:10 AM   
daintydimples


Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline 		I admit to being intrigued by the notion that what you wear predicates what type of dominant you are.

I don't believe the two have much correlation.


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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/28/2009 6:21:51 AM   
aranisiA


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/19/2008
Status: offline 		What my Domina chooses to wear has very little bearing on her ability to make me kneel at her feet. I've knelt to women dressed in leather, latex and/or corsets, but also to women dressed in nothing at all, outfits showing far more than they concealed or clothing more fit for a 12 year old child than for an adult. If anything, kneeling down to the Miss clad in a cutesy dress with a teddybear peeping out of a pocket felt more natural and 'right' than doing the same to the strict-looking woman clad in corset and pinstripe skirt. It's the eyes and the voice and the general aura of the person who makes me want to submit...not what they have chosen to wear. 

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RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/28/2009 6:52:09 AM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		when TheEngineer goes to work, he wears a button down shirt and tie, leather suspenders, and jeans.  this am he had cowboy boots on as well.  (yay texas semi-dress office standards!)

at home, he wanders about in a tshirt and boxers.  if we're going out, he's been known to wear a pinstripe suit, fedora, and carry a cane.  pretty damn spiffy!

but inside he's still the same person.  and *that* is what attracts me to him, not what he's wearing on the outside.

kitten

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/28/2009 7:24:19 AM   
wineDineNtieMe


Posts: 52
Joined: 7/9/2009
Status: offline 		"Dressing up" can be fun. A particular style of dress is not needed, but for some people (me, me, me!)what they wear influences who they feel like they are at that moment.

(I wonder if that made sense to anyone but me)


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RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/28/2009 7:32:29 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

I've looked around, and I've noticed that a lot of Dom/mes seem to dress, act and play to fit the general perception of the lifestyle by outsiders. I see a lot of Dom/mes dressing in leather, corsets, complex bondage apparel that really seems like more trouble than it's worth.
don't take this the wrong way, but i think you weould look a bit silly in a corset. Not sure about stilettos though. Can you post a picture of your legs?

quote:

Apparently, I am a more 'old-fashioned' type of Dom; I believe that the ultimate expression of a powerful man is a tailored suit and tie, perhaps a hat and/or walking-stick.
annnd here i go...i believe the ultimate expression of a powerful man is not what he puts on his body. It is his mind. Clothes do nothing for me. In fact the hat and walking stick would have me rolling my eyes. ymmv


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RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/28/2009 7:42:21 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JanMikal

I've been a Dominant for a long time....well, perhaps I should say I have been dominant, in a less formal sense than is usually meant when one says 'A Dominant'. Personality, etc. But I must admit, I feel a little out of place. Or perhaps out of time.

I've looked around, and I've noticed that a lot of Dom/mes seem to dress, act and play to fit the general perception of the lifestyle by outsiders. I see a lot of Dom/mes dressing in leather, corsets, complex bondage apparel that really seems like more trouble than it's worth. Apparently, I am a more 'old-fashioned' type of Dom; I believe that the ultimate expression of a powerful man is a tailored suit and tie, perhaps a hat and/or walking-stick. Likewise, with a Domme, I see the ultimate expression being one of a classy cocktail dress or gown, with immaculately styled hair and appropriate makeup.

My question is this; is there really a place for someone like me in this culture? Or am I hopelessly dated and outmoded? I have to note that my style is more that of a 'daddy dom', and less of the harsher, more intense variety, which perhaps might inform my style a bit.

What do you all think? Do any of you find this appealing? Is this a 'style' of Master/Dom/etc that you find attractive, or is the leather/latex/etc a must for you?


The costume does not a dominant person make. Be yourself.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Master 'Styles' - 7/28/2009 7:59:29 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*ponders Pirate in a pinstripe suit and fedora*

:: thud::

ok, sorry.. had a moment, there,,,


regardless of how he is clad, I KNOW he's the boss..  it's WHO and HOW is is, not what he wears.


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 20
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