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noob question - 7/28/2009 6:57:18 AM   
inkdrips


Posts: 24
Joined: 3/12/2009
Status: offline 		could I be a dom and still have a slave who is polite, accomodating and takes a certain amount of control in the sex. Knows what I like, asks what I like, does what I like, but she makes the moves, and I please her before pleasing myself?
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RE: noob question - 7/28/2009 6:58:27 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Ummm, sure...why not?


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RE: noob question - 7/28/2009 7:08:55 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Sure. Whatever works for the two of you. Some Doms are always in charge, some like to have their subs/slaves do it at times.

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RE: noob question - 7/28/2009 7:09:58 AM   
wineDineNtieMe


Posts: 52
Joined: 7/9/2009
Status: offline 		Dom-ing is as Dom-ing does.

You're still in control you're just saying basically; you know what I like, now do it... Ya know, don't wait for instructions.

Am I wrong, but isn't that just one more thing that goes with being a Dom?


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RE: noob question - 7/28/2009 7:30:25 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		when a man tells me... Tease Me.... then i tease... when he says... Please Me... then i please... i dont ask how... i just do....he is well pleased. and still in control... bliss.. heavenly bliss

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RE: noob question - 7/28/2009 8:43:54 AM   
olena


Posts: 97
Joined: 12/27/2007
Status: offline 		There still has to be leadership if you truly want significant power exchange relationship. Of course a slave will want to obey and do things the way you want them but if you are expecting to not put effort in that happening on a consistent basis but just expect the slave to be trained to do it and then you bring nothing to your part then you will have a difficult time finding that.

I though worry that your wording comes off as someone who is somewhat passive or even submissive thinking you can find a submissive woman who you will order to be a take charge and assertive in areas you want her to. In general a person who is submissive expects and falls for a man who leads and is assertive. That is the equal effort area of the relationship to the submissive obeying and following.


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RE: noob question - 7/28/2009 9:43:11 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		No I am sorry, that goes completely against the grain of Dominants 101, you will not get your certificate for being a twue Dom.
 
 
said very tongue in cheek

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RE: noob question - 7/28/2009 12:27:38 PM   
poeticfreak


Posts: 80
Joined: 6/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

No I am sorry, that goes completely against the grain of Dominants 101, you will not get your certificate for being a twue Dom.
 
 
said very tongue in cheek

When i was figuring out which direction i leaned most I thought about getting that certification.  But when I started studying for the test I realized it was just way to much work for me.  I simply don't have enough motivation or ambition or whatever to keep up with planning and controlling every second of someone elses life.  I can't even be bothered to do that with my own life

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RE: noob question - 7/28/2009 12:53:31 PM   
Chavello


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline 		smartass !

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RE: noob question - 7/28/2009 2:19:20 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: inkdrips
could I be a dom and still have a slave who is polite, accomodating and takes a certain amount of control in the sex. Knows what I like, asks what I like, does what I like, but she makes the moves, and I please her before pleasing myself?

What goes on in the bedroom I refer to as "topping" and "bottoming" to keep it separate from things like, "Who gets to vote?" My wife and I are both switch in the bedroom... that is to say, sometimes I top, sometimes she does. Outside the bedroom, she has zero interesting in being in control and I have minimal interest in submitting. So I'm pretty much always the dominant and we trade off on the top/bottom thing.

In other words... our actual relationship is complex. Yours can be too.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: noob question - 7/28/2009 2:52:42 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		In my world, who is Topping isn't necessarily who is the Dominant. My boyfriend sexually tops me all the time...in all the ways I like (and he's REALLY good at it!). Tied me up for the first time over the weekend even. FUN! But, what I do, especially with my body, doesn't define who I am, so, yeah, you can control the scene from the bottom and both have a fabulous time.

Master Fire


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RE: noob question - 7/28/2009 5:15:06 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		I HATE Definitions, they tend to be used to exclude rather than incorporate. We love our definitions in this lifestyle and love to create definitions where there really are none.

There is no definition for submissive as a NOUN and the Dominant as a noun deals with a Social Hierarchy, and even then only as the least common definition.

The Lables in which we give ourselves such as Dominant and submissive we most often need to define ourselves.

I do not think you are asking what you really want to know. I think you are asking is there a Different Term OTHER than Dominant that would suit you better and to that I say I do not think so.

However, if YOU like what you do and SHE likes what you do and yuo are BOTH happy then call it whatever the fuck you want. More Power to you.

Steel

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RE: noob question - 7/28/2009 6:47:50 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

if YOU like what you do and SHE likes what you do and yuo are BOTH happy then call it whatever the fuck you want. More Power to you.

Steel


Simply looking at the above statement, it is just a general, fantastic outlook on life itself.   (not at all on topic, and my apology for that)  Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.   

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RE: noob question - 7/29/2009 7:58:26 AM   
wineDineNtieMe


Posts: 52
Joined: 7/9/2009
Status: offline 		Steel always has a way of breaking it down simply.
(Been lurking for awhile)


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RE: noob question - 8/2/2009 4:38:32 AM   
krazykatelyn


Posts: 27
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		I guess you can have whatever you want from your sub/slave. If your not concerned with labels then do whatever works for you.

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RE: noob question - 8/2/2009 6:16:53 AM   
daintydimples


Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline 		As the dominant, you get to do what you want.

My last dominant liked to command me to be the active participant during sex. (Like most men, he liked to watch). After a while of this, he'd grab me and say "My turn!" in that commanding tone of voice (oh swoon). I never for a second that he wasn't the dominant.

I suppose it depends on how you do it  . . .




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RE: noob question - 8/16/2009 1:06:25 AM   
tombeange


Posts: 10
Joined: 6/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: inkdrips

could I be a dom and still have a slave who is polite, accomodating and takes a certain amount of control in the sex. Knows what I like, asks what I like, does what I like, but she makes the moves, and I please her before pleasing myself?



I would have to say that if that is what you desire, then absolutely! Why not? I am polite and I take control during sexual acts (when he allows it). It seems boring and unfair for him to have to initiate sex all the time. But that is just how we like it. She is your slave, if you like her as she is, wonderful! She is yours to do what you wish (provided she is consenting of course, had to throw that in)

Master/slave, dominant/submissive relationships are like 'nilla ones. It is what you make it. It will be what you mold it to be.

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RE: noob question - 8/16/2009 8:59:20 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		yes.

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RE: noob question - 8/16/2009 1:45:35 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
when a man tells me... Tease Me.... then i tease... when he says... Please Me... then i please... i dont ask how... i just do....he is well pleased. and still in control... bliss.. heavenly bliss

This just made me smile.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to tazzygirl)
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RE: noob question - 8/16/2009 1:51:10 PM   
shadowowl


Posts: 198
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: inkdrips

could I be a dom and still have a slave who is polite, accomodating and takes a certain amount of control in the sex. Knows what I like, asks what I like, does what I like, but she makes the moves, and I please her before pleasing myself?

you can even be a dom if you want her to tie you up  and spank you lol.   if she is doing what you want technically your the dom ;)    least that's how I always viewed it.  
there's a scene in the movie Secretary where a random dom wants the sub to handcuff him to a stove and throw fruit at him lol.  to each their own I guess ;)  though that partically sub didn't like it much think it was just 1 time deal lol.

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