RavenMuse
Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
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1. How do you go about meeting/ finding submissives?
Currently mainly on-line because I'm gearing up to move. Once I move I'll be looking in the local clubs and munches too.
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2. What (to you) defines a 'good' submissive versus a 'bad' sub?
The biggest thing I look for is a sense of reality. She isn't in love with the fantasy of D/s she has thought through what she wants and worked out what that would mean in the real world.
A bad sub (Bad as in certainly not what I'm looking for, wether it might be what someone else is looking for isn't my concern) is the kind that drops to her knees at my feet within five minutes of meeting declairing she wants to do whatever I want her to do and that she has no limits. Whilst this might be very flattering, it is also very stupid and for her, very dangerous given she hasn't taken a reality check and realised she doesn't know me at all. Submission should come when trust has been built and trust doesn't come overnight nor all at once, it takes time.
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3. Do you take into account vanilla activities/ interests a submissive has?
Yes, they give an idea of who the person is. I don't have to share all those interests but I have to be able to recognise a personality that I find interesting. Are the interests showing me an introvert, an extrovert or someone with elements of both? I am looking for a person, not just a body and those interests help me build a picture of what sort of person she might be and get me interested enough to look further.
If I am not interested in her as a person, then I have little use for her submission.
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4. What commonalities do you want to have with a prospective sub?
Most importantly is that mutual spark that moves a person from being just attractive to someone you care about, if there is no potential for that spark then everything else is irrelivant. I can 'play' with someone I do not care about, but I can't be her master.
Communication, honesty, openness, intelligence and her need to submit matching with my need to direct.
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5. What is your idea of reward/ punishment?
The biggest reward or punishment for a sub who loves her master is him showing when he is pleased and when he is not.
Occasionaly that however needs reinforcing. Especialy where punishment is concerned.... if only to give her a sense of closure on whatever caused the displeasure. What that takes the form of depends on the sub. There is no point using spanking on a sub who enjoys being spanked, that simply reinforces negative behaviour and leads to them delibratly being displeasing simply to get the 'reward' of being punished.
Rewards should be things she likes and enjoys. Punishments quite the opposite, they should be difficult and at least a little unpleasent so that she wishes to avoid the behaviour that brings them about.
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6. What is one (or two) things that you wish someone had told you when you started out?
I was lucky in that I got good advice at the start.
"Enjoy the fantasy but leave it in your head, out here you deal with the reality"
"Don't rush, keep it safe"
"It isn't a weakness to admit you need to learn more about something before going further with it"
_____________________________
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Owner of metalmiss
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Insights welcome - 
I am not a Dominant, and I would love to get some feedback on questions per the Dom viewpoint. 
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