jadenth -> RE: is it wrong to feel this way? (3/1/2006 5:43:32 PM)
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i just wanted to respond to what some of Y/you all said and say that Master and i are well. Celeste43-- i wish We could live together right now so He could come home and ask how we are, but alas He currently lives on the college campus and i'm about to get into an apartment. He usually only asks how i am since i tend to tell him how his son is before he can ask. valeca-- i think you're right, the thing i needed most was His domanance. its strange how life can feel like it falls apart after a child is born and being able to turn a part of your life (or even just a few hours of it) over to someone you can eternally trust can feel so wonderful. i'm very happy to have a Master that can make me feel safe, comfortable, and loved even when We cannot be in eachother's presence. KnightofMists-- this is my second child and i had back labor both times. the pain was worse this time, to the point that Master could feel the depth of my pain throughout my whole aura. i believe that the young nurse who was trying to get the iv started could feel it too because she got anxious when she couldn't get it started fast enough. though it hurt Him deeply when he could no longer do anything to take away the pain, just being able to hold my Master's hand and feel His touch on my back helped so much. krikket-- my Master also hates it when i try to "protect" Him from my thoughts, especially when i say i'm thinking something and refuse to say it for fear of it not coming our right. We had a long talk a few days after this event and i wasn't allowed to talk to Him again until i had decided if i truely wanted to continue with this relationship and trust in Him without question. i literally bawled to one of my vanilla (but currupted by me) friends as i realized that my heart doesn't beat without Him in my life (and our children's). MasterDaddy123-- it was my idea, with Master's enthusiastic approval, that i start a journal to write my thoughts and feelings after every scene and when i drop so this doesn't happen again. He has even given me assignments to write about in my journal so i can express myself without fearing insulting Him or saying what i don't mean. i have to give thanks to my sub friend here: if she wouldn't have given Us that little extra push farther into the world of BDSM We would have never experienced the depth of relationship We have now. the chainmaille collar He made me is my physical reminder that he really does love and care for me beyond what We could have felt in the vanilla world. like i told Master after i spoken with my vanilla friend, "my collar makes me free." He is the reason i soar with eagles. interesting side note about my littlest one: i could tell by the way he looked me in the eyes when i first held him that my son has a dominant personality. his eyes spoke volumes about his confidance and inherited knowledge. when Master told some of His friends in chat here, they concidered starting a fund for his first whip. it's a good thing i am a horse trainer and can explain away things of that nature in my home.
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