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Any less a masochist - 7/31/2009 12:51:37 PM

NextDoorMan

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There has been a very interesting thread on this board the past week or so, “Where are the Masochistic Men?”. I thoroughly enjoyed sitting on the sidelines and reading the responses, though I never posted. The OP apparently was searching for masochists, rather than sensual subs. But it made me think, some people say I don’t do enough of that.

It’s all about levels. Personally I consider myself a bit of a masochist. However, in the eyes of a sadist who wants to take a needle and thread and sew my testicles to my thigh, I’m a wimp. In my view a Domme who enjoys a little OTK spanking of her sub, is in fact sadistic, just not to the degree of the Domme Seamstress. Same goes for the masochists.

In a perfect world we would all be paired off according to our respective levels of “S” and “m”. Unfortunately we aren’t there yet. To make lemonade of our lemons, we are left to take things to the level that our partners enjoy. That’s right, enjoy.

If a Domme wants to sew his testicles to his thigh, but the sub is only willing to go so far as some temporary adhesive; shouldn’t she just enjoy what she’s got. True, this sub will not take her to nirvana, but at least she’s getting in the neighborhood. And the same goes for the masochists. Her flogger may not break the skin and give you that thrill of trails of blood running down your back, that you seek. But at least she not putting you over her knee and spanking you with a slipper and making you call her “Auntie Jenny” either.

Just because I am not masochistic to your level, does that make me any less a masochist?

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RE: Any less a masochist - 7/31/2009 1:18:51 PM

LadyHibiscus

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No, NextDoorMan, it doesn't. Everything in its degree.

Many times you will see posters (myself included) discuss the issue of "settling". Should we settle for LESS than getting our needs met? A relationship is a multifaceted thing. If I am looking to play, and the other person has great chemistry with me, and is willing to at least go as far as he or she can, well sure, I can settle for that. I am looking for fun, I am getting fun. If I am looking for someone to serve me on a regular basis---collar, join to the household, whatever your terminology is--then I am looking for a well rounded match. That person has to share vanilla interests with me, fit into family stuff, AND like MOST of my play activities. If I have Mr or Ms fantastic submissive, and the only problem is that that person is not a fabulous maso, well.... I can find other blood to draw.

If we are in that middle ground that you describe, where everyone is sort of compromising, is anyone really satisfied? Or does it put the people on the road to frustration and resentment?

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RE: Any less a masochist - 7/31/2009 1:51:03 PM

PeonForHer

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. . . And, of course, people change the longer they're with a partner. I keep noticing this, actually: those within partnerships who post here saying something alone the lines of 'I had no idea our relationship would grow the way it has'. I'd guess a little sadistic or masochistic streak could diminish, or it could grow into a bigger one. Or so I theorise.

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RE: Any less a masochist - 7/31/2009 1:54:41 PM

LadyHibiscus

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I find that tolerance for pain play grows for a lot of people. I can tell you for a fact that twenty years ago, I was not pondering doing things with scalpels, needles, or any number of evil things that I enjoy now as a matter of course.

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RE: Any less a masochist - 7/31/2009 2:51:36 PM

Lockit

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Oh dear... you mean I may become more sadistic? Then I might have to eat a lot of words! lol I do have to admit... that sandpaper and rubbing alcohol spanking event was a blast! Yet... I really don't see myself doing that again. Hummm... I better not say anymore on that because I may already have enough to eat one day!

But I am going for that whole relationship working it out thing and will not settle as that seems kind of negative... but will adjust to what we each need. Unless I have to sew... I will go out on a limb and say... I am not sewing anyone! lol But if I ever do... you all can get me hard on that as I know you will!

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RE: Any less a masochist - 7/31/2009 4:53:40 PM

MsStarlett

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Sewing testicles? *Bleck* I'll pass. However, I do enjoy spanking them even though CBT is not a favorite for all my boys. After all, I was just out shopping for a step ladder to make it easier for me to step on Wall-e's privates. He really enjoyed that last time. Although, when I mention this to most men, they turn sort of green around the gills. On the other hand, Wall-e doesn't take a beating nearly as well as my current local boy. It's all pain, just administered in different ways. Different games for different boys. It's all good to me, although nothing excites me like swinging my floggers. Genital trampling just doesn't have the same physical interaction for me.

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RE: Any less a masochist - 7/31/2009 4:55:49 PM

LadyHibiscus

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I like sewing, but superglue is more fun for me. Maybe because of the peeling it off part?

Anyway, most folks are not that extreme! I agree with MsStarlett, even a maso will not have tolerance for the same THINGS.

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