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RE: Delayed Punishments - 8/1/2009 10:56:43 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lostkitten3
Please don't overthink the waiting. Only very low self esteemed people would actually get an anxiety complex over it, and if they already have one, and it feeds into it, then maybe it's a good lesson in learning to deal with your anxiety issues?


There is no correlation to self esteem issues with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, a biochemical problem. And deliberately provoking an anxiety attack, or a panic attack, or a flashback in someone with PTSD serves no purpose other than to have the sub distrust you for good reason.


Thank you DesFIP.  I agree with you completely.  I have good self-esteem and anxiety disorder.  I used to be with someone who would purposely wait until evening to punish and, by the time it happened, I would be so anxious wondering what He was going to do, I would actually be in tears, throwing up and hyperventilating from the stress.  It didn't happen often, thank Goddess, as I'm usually a good girl.

I've only been bad once with Sir, and that was because I was teasing Him too much.  lol  Thankfully, He is the type of Dom that doesn't delay punishment, but does it as soon as possible and gets it over and done with.....He knows that waiting too long for it will give me an anxiety attack.   And I'd asked Him before about His punishment style, so I knew what He was going to do ahead of time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lostkitten3

I'm pretty sure delaying a punishment is not cause for ptsd or or anxiety disorder...but if you think so, please avoid it.


Oh really?  See my above answer.

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(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Delayed Punishments - 8/4/2009 10:54:58 PM   
dove967


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/28/2006
Status: offline 		What's even worse, is when YOU know you messed up, but, are not sure if HE knows you messed up or not. And He waits and waits to see if you'll confess or not,but, you don't know that!   So,  it's like a catch 22!  Shit!  Do I tell Him and KNOW I'll get it but good, or , take a chance and say nothing and HOPE He's not aware of anything and possibly escape certain doom!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  

(in reply to heartbound)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Delayed Punishments - 8/5/2009 12:33:59 AM   
XYisInferior


Posts: 166
Joined: 2/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantDoug

Im wondering how others feel about a delayed punishment for misbehavior...for example, a slave misbehaves, and then instead of punishing her right then and there you tell her....you're going to be punished, but not until tomorrow...I like this idea because it gives her a whole day not only to anticipate the punishment, but to think about the misbehavior and what she did to deserve the upcoming punishment


From my experience, it's best to punish at or close to the time of the offense, or one runs the risk of loosing important context by waiting too long. Some time given to brood over one's transgression and its impending retribution is one thing, but there is somewhat of an associative shelf life in the mind for misdeeds and their negative consequences, or so I tend to think.

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(in reply to DominantDoug)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Delayed Punishments - 8/5/2009 8:27:38 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		My Master has done this once ot twice  bur more displine than punishment.  It is like waiting for the other shoe to drop.  it does make me think about what it is i have done to earn a displine.  Make a vow not to do it again.  It is part of the displine to think about what i have done.  I beat myself up more than he could ever "beat" me, but i still get my displine.  So at times delaying punishment can be very effective.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to XYisInferior)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Delayed Punishments - 8/5/2009 9:46:33 AM   
ignoreme


Posts: 49
Joined: 12/26/2008
Status: offline 		In my case it'd be more effective to do the punishment immediately, even if it's just a slap in the face, otherwise the thing I did wrong is already fading from memory.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Delayed Punishments - 8/5/2009 6:15:13 PM   
warmbreeze


Posts: 3
Joined: 7/5/2009
Status: offline 		I think that either immediate or delayed can be effective and erotic.  Different episodes of misbehaving warrants different reaction.  I am a sub/slave and would find either effective.

(in reply to DominantDoug)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Delayed Punishments - 8/5/2009 11:37:53 PM   
XYisInferior


Posts: 166
Joined: 2/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

My Master has done this once ot twice  bur more displine than punishment.  It is like waiting for the other shoe to drop.  it does make me think about what it is i have done to earn a displine.  Make a vow not to do it again.  It is part of the displine to think about what i have done.  I beat myself up more than he could ever "beat" me, but i still get my displine.  So at times delaying punishment can be very effective.

Matt's littleone


You bring up an excellent point, Little; punishment in an ideal slave should be internalized as well as externalized.

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(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Delayed Punishments - 8/15/2009 11:19:19 PM   
aneworldcallsme


Posts: 3
Joined: 7/25/2009
Status: offline 		Even though i really love pain i  hate to be punished. And having to wait for it is even worse. It is not so much the fear of what is to come but knowing i did something that displeased my Mistress and that is the worst thing i can think of.  

(in reply to heartbound)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Delayed Punishments - 8/16/2009 5:10:10 AM   
Zechriel


Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline 		Good morning!
   I have panic attacks and delaying anything makes my stress go up,my tummy drops and then it is a full fledged attack. Making me wait too long-for his pleasure-would be cruel and although I would not leave, he would have to deal with the consequences of vomiting, shakes, and possibly and ER trip to dope me up to calm down. So he takes delaying things or not getting back to me under heavy consideration.
   
    I guess it depends on the thing to be punished. If it is really bad, then things would probably stop immediately and I would be sent home. Otherwise a lecture would be forthcoming. It is up to him to monitor his "anger/being upset", not me. Knowing that we both have pretty bad tempers, we both understand how getting away from each other before it escalates is very important. And as to punishment, there is no "funishment" in our relationship. We both sat down in the beginning and compromised on a list of things I HATE to do, like drinking water or wearing pants or not being able to call for a time. Last time I was punished was 2 weeks with no chips or sodas, (talk about hell) that was about 5 months ago, I have learned my lesson. Oh and yes that punishment came the day after I was sent home. So it was quick.  Basically, you want your point to get across without causing her/him damage or loosing his/her trust. Fine line but you must really know your sub/slave. Good luck!
Love,
Zechriel

 


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(in reply to heartbound)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Delayed Punishments - 8/16/2009 10:26:00 AM   
sunshineslave200


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/17/2009
Status: offline 		hmmm delaying punishment. interesting. this one guesses it would have to depend on the punishment/misbehavior. if the slave knowingly misbehaved or misbehaved over something she has been corrected on over and over then perhaps a delay to make her think on it would be appropriate. however some slaves who misbehave are like children and delaying punishment may not be appropriate. if you have a 3 year old writing on the walls you would not delay punishment cause the next day the child wont remember why they are being punished. and  while slaves yes are not 3 some act at times as if they were. so You have to be carefull when and how a slave is punished for thier bad behavior. oh but if the misbehave for the same reason this one does ( which isnt often and she is carefull as when and where to do it) it is for attention. and perhaps the best punishment is no attention from the Owner for an extended period of time.

well that is this slaves 2 cents worth  

(in reply to heartbound)
Profile   Post #: 30
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