wondering (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

TheOSON -> wondering (8/1/2009 5:54:48 PM)

Why is that some many in the lifestyle these days see BDSM as the physicla act and need insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve?



antipode -> RE: wondering (8/1/2009 5:59:49 PM)

quote:

insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve


Because we are individuals. Please use a spellchecker when you post - Firefox has one built in.



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: wondering (8/1/2009 6:00:30 PM)

Because it's a wide world, and for some people, it is about the physical acts... the bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. For some people it is about something emotional. For some it is about service. For most, it is an ever-varying mix of these things and many, many more.

Suffice to say that there are -many- here (at least from what I've seen from my own time on the boards) who have plenty to say about not -only- the physical, but the emotional, intellectual, esoteric, philosophical, ethical, visceral, psychological, and even -spiritual- aspects of our lives, as reflected through the broad compass of what we do to one another with bodies, energy (power), and authority, so if you're looking for others of like mind... dig a little deeper. Scratch below the surface. Judge the book by more than its cover... they're here.

Dame Calla



OsideGirl -> RE: wondering (8/1/2009 6:06:32 PM)

Because BDSM stands for Bondage/Discipline/Sado-Masochism which are mostly physical acts.



tazzygirl -> RE: wondering (8/1/2009 7:00:47 PM)

so is D/d encompassed by BDSM or is it the other way around?



IrishMist -> RE: wondering (8/1/2009 7:03:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TheOSON

Why is that some many in the lifestyle these days see BDSM as the physicla act and need insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve?

Perhaps because not everyone see's it the same way. For some, it is JUST a physical act; for others, it is not.

Neither way is more or less, better or worse...just different; as people are different.



DesFIP -> RE: wondering (8/1/2009 7:08:25 PM)

Just wondering why so many these days feel the need to define for everyone else what they ought to get out of BDSM.

Not to mention that some of us aren't service oriented.



CatdeMedici -> RE: wondering (8/1/2009 7:34:33 PM)

For the same reason people voted for Sarah Palin---because they can.



aldompdx -> RE: wondering (8/1/2009 8:44:48 PM)

False ego identification.

It is human nature to believe that fulfillment/love comes from the external activities and external relations. The simple truth is what everybody actually experiences, but seldom sees. Fulfillment/love arises in the only place it is ever felt, one's very own heart. It cannot be given or taken. One can only share the love they always have, and inspire it to arise within another.



DavanKael -> RE: wondering (8/1/2009 9:05:46 PM)

Because people have free will. 
  Davan
(Who makes spelling errors herself sometimes but agrees with antipode's request)



AcademyForSlaves -> RE: wondering (8/1/2009 9:31:44 PM)

We've noticed that change too. BDSM has gotten to be more of a physical and sexual thing. Not saying that everyone in BDSM is into that aspect but more newbees are into strapon, chastity, cum on command, and other physical fetishes and not so much into SERVING. We prefer to hear from subs into real slavery and who aren't selfish but really like pleasing the dom. But is it getting more rare and is it a sign of the times of the world around us all? Maybe the change is not only in BDSM? Or maybe lots of newbees are trying BDSM because it's IN style? That would mean the amount of novices have increased and that would explain why so many assume it's a physical and sexual act. That theory makes the most sense.



Missokyst -> RE: wondering (8/1/2009 9:51:24 PM)

Piffle.
BDSM is bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism, with the additional catagory of domination and submission.
Not all people are into service.
As for being selfish, let me add another acronym in.  BS.  Plenty of people do this in a loving way that has less to do with the image of "service" and more to do with the need to please your mate because you love them or want them in your life.
I see a lot more people complaining it is not the way it used to be.  It is the same.  There are just more people now, and of course you will have a higher ratio of people not doing it YOUR way.



SteelofUtah -> RE: wondering (8/1/2009 9:58:19 PM)

Op: Your Primary Picture is of Paddles.............

So do you just Discuss the paddles and the emotions that they would give or do you use them?

Some People are ONLY into S&M there is no Service in that just beating and play.

Your way is not the only way. Neither is mine. That is okay. You do your thing and try to understand why others do theirs it will open your world to a magnitude of new possibilities.

Steel



GYPZYQUEEN -> RE: wondering (8/1/2009 10:02:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheOSON

Why is that some many in the lifestyle these days see BDSM as the physicla act
['quote]

I only know about 200 of the 5000 here and the millions worldwide so I cannot speak for them only myself...

GQ



Esinn -> RE: wondering (8/1/2009 10:03:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve


Because we are individuals. Please use a spellchecker when you post - Firefox has one built in.



Talk about scaring the new posters off....



Danemora -> RE: wondering (8/1/2009 11:28:48 PM)

For me, BDSM incorporates many levels...physical, emotional, and spiritual.  Thats what works for me and it by no means should define how you or anyone else views their own part in this lifestyle.

I tend to think of BDSM as a spectrum and we all tend to fit in somewhere along that spectrum.  Some are more extreme, some are very light, and the rest of us tend to fall somewhere in the middle.  Might I suggest that you focus more of your attention on seeking those who are on your same level as far as what you are seeking...rather than pondering why everyone else doenst look at things the same way you do.  You will be much happier for it in the long run. 



NorthernGent -> RE: wondering (8/2/2009 3:48:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheOSON

Why is that some many in the lifestyle these days see BDSM as the physicla act and need insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve?



Are there people who think like that? Surely a physical act is an expression of our emotions/instincts/desires.

Edited to add: the inner and the external are irretrievably connected. Perhaps it's a case of some people missing that point. Perhaps it's a matter of some people believing they are guided by their emotions and others believing they are guided by their ability to reason.



IronBear -> RE: wondering (8/2/2009 5:32:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheOSON

Why is that some many in the lifestyle these days see BDSM as the physicla act and need insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve?


This has not a jolly thing to do with the "Lifestyle" as people generally in every lifestyle there will be some who see what they do as a physical thing and others probably of a more philosophical bent will delve deeper and seek the spiritual/emotional and service or day to day aspects of what it they do.. After all, people, after all, are just people, no more, no less.




daintydimples -> RE: wondering (8/2/2009 5:51:18 AM)

I've seen this statement before I on this forum:

BDSM is bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism, with the additional catagory of domination and submission.

Domination and submission did not begin as a separate category.  It's become one because people seem to have forgotten that the "Bondage" in BDSM used to represent the bond between M/s or D/s. The restraints themselves were symbols of that bondage.

The past 15 years has brought many changes to the scene, due to the internet, the proliferation of public dungeons which has led to public scening with virtual strangers.

To each their own, as they say.

I, for one, need that emotional bond. For me, you tie up (or let yourself be tied up by) those you love.

As always, JMO.











CallaFirestormBW -> RE: wondering (8/2/2009 7:19:34 AM)

quote:

The past 15 years has brought many changes to the scene, due to the internet, the proliferation of public dungeons which has led to public scening with virtual strangers.


I've been providing pastoral care to the BDSM community since when it was around 75% gay male population... for about the past 20something years or so, in any case (let's see... Atlanta... 1987... yeah, 22 years), before the Internet was commonly available to the average joe, and I can tell you from firsthand experience that people have -always- scened with 'virtual strangers', and, honestly, it always seemed like more than half of all encounters back "in the day" were casual BDSM-club encounters that may or may not develop into something else down the road, and really, not to many gave a crap. Casual club play isn't something -new- that came about from the internet, and frankly, up until BDSM became a 'dating tool', the "odd folk out" were the people who tried to make this part of their daily and romantic lives, and find new ways to justify their kinks on "emotional" or "spiritual" grounds.

Now I'm just as guilty as the next folk. I like having a household, and the luxury of having people around me all the time, rather than just at a club, who grasp what this means to me (and for whom I think I grasp what it means for them). I justify my participation with emotional, spiritual, and psychological mumbo-jumbo, and incorporate this into my own relationship-based dynamics... but I guess I still remember, pretty clearly, where I -came- from in this, and why it took me so -very- long to unstick my feet from the pavement and dive in. Frankly, at the time, there didn't seem to be much room for a straight, mind-oriented, 'not-much-of-a-club-scene' kinda person... and that -has- changed, but whether it's changed for the -better-... well, sometimes I think maybe not-so-much, but a lot of folk seem pretty satisfied.

Dame Calla



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125