I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect?

I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (Full Version)

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SrPascual76 -> I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/2/2009 4:19:42 PM)
Ok! I know that no one will show up in full BDSM gear, nor will we see slaves on a leash, canes, crops or whips. But... just what exactly goes on in these munches? What do people talk about? How will I know if I'm adressing a sub or a Dom? Anybody want to share experiences? It would really help.

Level -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/2/2009 4:25:49 PM)
First, congrats, and I hope you enjoy the munch. Second, don't bet that no one shows up on a leash, I'm just saying lol. The first one I went to, there were a couple of demos, very cool. People talk about all sorts of things, but kink most likely will have its place in the conversations. There may be food and drink. There may be braying jackasses, and wonderful folks as well. Just relax, and realize that no one expects you to show up and be SupeDom. Be yourself, respect the hosts and fellow errr, munchers, and have fun.

RapierFugue -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/2/2009 4:27:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SrPascual76 Ok! I know that no one will show up in full BDSM gear, nor will we see slaves on a leash, canes, crops or whips. But... just what exactly goes on in these munches? What do people talk about? How will I know if I'm adressing a sub or a Dom? Anybody want to share experiences? It would really help. Well for a start, every munch I've ever been to has been friendly and relaxed. Some were better attended than others, but they were all pleasant events, so no worries on that score. People will talk about just about anything, from the price of fish to ... well, just about anything. As to identifying D/s, my experience is that, if the conversation warrants you knowing that, then they'll let you know which side of the fence they're on. If you're just talking about the price of fish, does it matter? Hope it's a good one for you. I still remember my first munch fondly.

LadyPact -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/2/2009 4:29:22 PM)
I can't speak for your location, but pretty much, expect dinner. Most munches are held in a restaurant where people can get a bite to eat over the conversation. Some groups will have announcements of what's coming up as far as events. Others don't bother. You can expect the conversation to be anything including BDSM, excluding BDSM, or any other thing that you can think of. Unless it's specifically a discussion munch where there is a topic involved, it will be whatever the people want to talk about. Good luck, have fun, and congratulations on getting out to your first munch.

SteelofUtah -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/2/2009 5:34:39 PM)
Okay the new people are stripped naked and beat with canes regardless of orientation. Then they sacrafice a virgin (Where they find one I'll never know). Around the end of the evening there will be people hanging from the Rafters and People having unprotected sex with midgets and Men in Masks. IT AWSOME!!! Okay Now that I have effectively scared the shit outta you. A Munch is a Meet and Greet. It should be a bunch of people just hanging out and networking. It will help you to meet other people in the lifestyle and get to know new people who you should be able to relate to. Yes there may be some people there who push the envelope. Yes there may be some people there who will attamept a pissing contest Yes there may be some people there who you will NOT like But a Munch is about being around other people in your area. I would TRY not to make it about scoring a play partner but rather about getting to know people who you want to hang out with. Steel

leadership527 -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/2/2009 6:48:46 PM)
Well, not that I've gone to a large number of munches, but in general my experience is that folks are generally laid back, friendly, and polite. On our first visit, people went out of their way to make us feel welcome. I knew people were dom or sub either because it was just plain obvious, or because they told me when we were introduced. But nobody made a big deal out of anything and I didn't feel like I was traipsing around in some protocol mine field. Mostly, it was a bunch of regular people talking about BDSM.

interlocutor -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/2/2009 7:46:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah Okay the new people are stripped naked and beat with canes regardless of orientation. Then they sacrafice a virgin (Where they find one I'll never know). Around the end of the evening there will be people hanging from the Rafters and People having unprotected sex with midgets and Men in Masks. He's asking about a munch not the weekly "Rocky Horror Picture Show".

roughleather -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/2/2009 8:34:18 PM)
quote: just what exactly goes on in these munches? What do people talk about? About the same stuff they talk about on here. You may be bored or turned off.

lobodomslavery -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/3/2009 12:32:08 AM)
Dont bank on someone submitting to You. It generally does not happen Sir. At least in my neck of the woods kevin

stella41b -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/3/2009 3:31:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery Dont bank on someone submitting to You. It generally does not happen Sir. At least in my neck of the woods kevin That's because you like role-playing Aquarius.. ETA OT How's the craic anyway?

Mercnbeth -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/3/2009 3:44:29 PM)
quote: But... just what exactly goes on in these munches? eating, drinking, talking...mostly. depending on the venue, we have been to munches that have had a pool table available, video games and/or sports games on big screens as well as food, drink and conversation. quote: ...What do people talk about?... same types of things as folks talk about here. local events are often discussed. there are also regulars who typically know a few others outside of the munch and they tend to talk with each other about more intimate things like jobs, families, mutual friends and experiences. quote: ...How will I know if I'm adressing a sub or a Dom?... sometimes it is obvious...a girl with a collar on inscribed "slave" or someone introducing themselves to you as "Lord Mike" or "CrappyDom" instead of their given name tend to give themselves away pretty easily, however, not everyone uses honorifics, screennames or collars with their orientation spelled out on it. often, you have to ask to know for sure!!! best wishes for a fabuous time!!!

pleasuredancer -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/3/2009 7:19:34 PM)
Okay, first, all of what those people above me said. But here's a few other things. First, at some places, it is hard for a young, single, male dom to 'break in" to the crowd. It isn't fair, but it just is. Some people might be more ready to accept you than others. Don't worry about it, just use those manners your mother taught you and don't pull any "uberdom" tricks. Talk to everyone near you. Be ready with an unoffensive question or two so you can open a conversation with anyone. There are a few 'don'ts'. Don't ask people what they do, or even what side of the flogger they play on. Let them tell you. Personal information is protected by many of us and asking about one's sex life as dinner conversation isn't good manners, even in the BDSM community. Maybe especially in the BDSM community. Ask what they love to do when they have free time, leave your questions open enough for them to decide how much information they want to share. Talk about what you love to do that isn't BDSM related. Ask them how long they have been a part of the munch group, and who they know. ("Are you new, like me, or do you know a bunch of these people?") Don't zero in on the cutest romantic possibility there, it will be obvious and people will not like it. In fact, if you are interested in subly girls, ignore the cute one except for a little nod or something before you leave. Really, it works on most of us. We aren't all that mysterious. Try to talk to as many people as you can, and before you go, if it is appropriate, thank the hostess quietly and personally. Be ready to share an email address.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/4/2009 11:45:48 AM)
Wear clean underwear, don't sit ANYWHERE, and for God's sake stay away from all the weird KINKY people!!!

DavanKael -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/4/2009 9:21:22 PM)
I have only been to one munch and then one social. The munch had people, for the most part, substantially above my age demographic. People asked me my orientation straight-up (I think my 'flavor' of energy confuses many), I found it pretty obvious what side of the kneel people were on. Some were kind and friendly. Some worried me more than a little. My ex- was a Marine and I wound up mostly talking with a guy who had been also. Went out with him once, had interesting conversation, he was looking for more of a casual arrangement than was/am I. Oh, also at the munch, someone brought out a toy I still don't know wtf it was (And, I know my toys) though the idea of it against human flesh worried me greatly. Heard a couple of distressing stories. Had someone try to convince me to go to fetish events and step on people for pay as I have small feet. < shrug > Just your average meal at Bertucci's, lol! The social was a much younger age demographic than mine and they worried me less than the other folks, lol! More friendly, less fixated on kinks and more willing to discuss them in a healthy, non-leg-humping kind of a way. Ummm, oh, yeah, much focus on casual play and play parties: that particular group is quite active in planning them and I was really very impressed at the maturity level of the organizer. Best wishes, Davan

SummerWind -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/4/2009 9:32:05 PM)
I usuall bring a roll of $50's and some blow. It helps when the converstion nose dives after 9 minutes into stories of play parties you didn't attend and rants about how the "scene" isn't what it used to be.

BoundBrosef -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/5/2009 12:42:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SummerWind I usuall bring a roll of $50's and some blow. It helps when the converstion nose dives after 9 minutes into stories of play parties you didn't attend and rants about how the "scene" isn't what it used to be. haha!

Acer49 -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/7/2009 6:35:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SrPascual76 Ok! I know that no one will show up in full BDSM gear, nor will we see slaves on a leash, canes, crops or whips. But... just what exactly goes on in these munches? What do people talk about? How will I know if I'm adressing a sub or a Dom? Anybody want to share experiences? It would really help. I have been to some that everyone was pretty open and friendly, and I have been to some, where people who knew one another, kind of kept to themselves

BoundBrosef -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/7/2009 2:38:44 PM)
I still can't get past the concept of combining food and bdsm. I just imagine someone in a leather cap talking about slaves or something while breadsticks get refilled at the olive garden, or something.

IronBear -> RE: I'm attending my fisrst munch... what should I expect? (8/7/2009 3:02:03 PM)
The munches I attend are pretty cool; good food and drink (you pay for what you want), lots of great conversation some involving BDSM and some just normal conversation either catching up with old friends or getting to know new members. More like a good family do than anything else but with the BDSM edge. Not that much different to various pagan conclaves I occasionally attend, veteran functions and other reunions. Some wear collars, others don't, some wear black and others wear street clothes (smart casual) and often ums are along too which is one reason why things are low key.

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