Friendship among subs/slaves

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Mynxling -> Friendship among subs/slaves (8/4/2009 6:01:24 PM)
This is my first post here, so, hi, everyone! I am currently in consideration for a collar from my Lady. Among the tasks She has set me before She accepts me further is that She wants me to seek out another sub/slave to talk to. She asked originally what my support network was, who I could talk to about things with Her and get honest feedback from. I'm polyamorous, so I have two boyfriends, a girlfriend, and a semi-ex-girlfriend to talk to, but none of them is so much into the lifestyle, so I can't talk to them and expect them to understand in the same way. So I am wondering: is there anyone else out there of the sub/slave persuasion, who might be interested in striking up a correspondence to discuss things of a sub-ly nature?

wineDineNtieMe -> RE: Friendship among subs/slaves (8/4/2009 7:02:40 PM)
If this is viewed as a personal ad it will be deleted soon by the moderator. The best thing I can advise is participation in this board and correspondence on "the other side" (that means send c-mail) and see if you can strike up a friendship. I have met a fellow sub that I wonder if we were sisters in a past life, lol. I find there are a lot of nice people here who are willing to give you a chance as long as you don't rub them the wrong way. How do you rub them the wrong way? I can't tell you that, but should you do so, YOU'LL KNOW IMMEDIATELY! This board is a good source of information and can be a great way to meet people.

slavekal -> RE: Friendship among subs/slaves (8/4/2009 8:50:43 PM)
I'll talk to you.

Mynxling -> RE: Friendship among subs/slaves (8/4/2009 9:51:38 PM)
Personal ad what now? Just trying to do as I was asked...alright then. For the record, I am also planning on lurking about and seeing if I find someone that's interesting and perhaps striking up a conversation. I just figured it couldn't hurt to supplement it with something like this. My apologies if I've overstepped somehow. quote: should you do so, YOU'LL KNOW IMMEDIATELY! So what you're saying is, uh, vocal bunch o' folks on this board? [;)]

pyroaquatic -> RE: Friendship among subs/slaves (8/4/2009 9:59:06 PM)
I do not see this as a personal ad. Let us discuss things that are of sub nature. Why does one submit to another even though they are given the choice of freedom? Does submission equate to being a doormat? What feelings do you immerse yourself in when the collar is donned? Does each dominant have a submissive side? Does each submissive have a dominant side? Can the D/S roles reverse and still hold true to the roles? These are all questions I would like to hear from my fellow subbie friends. I will post my own feelings on the matter when I wake up tomorrow... or eventually. It will be tomorrow.

GreedyTop -> RE: Friendship among subs/slaves (8/4/2009 10:00:20 PM)
Try going out to munches in your area?

thishereboi -> RE: Friendship among subs/slaves (8/5/2009 5:52:53 AM)
fr Find some local munches and events and go out and meet people. You should be able to make all kinds of new friends there.

LPslittleclip -> RE: Friendship among subs/slaves (8/5/2009 7:55:27 AM)
welcome to the boards. i Had a similar request of my M'Lady when i first started. and munches and other party's. i am currently in Afghanistan serving the army. i would be happy to communicate with you. see my profile for this. further reading and commenting on the boards will help get acquainted with more of the lifestyle.

TantaMount2Much -> RE: Friendship among subs/slaves (8/5/2009 9:01:27 AM)
mynx, I condone the lady soldier. And pyroaquatic, becasue he appears to be a thinker. I agree that the boards are a goode place to discover your confidante, however, I believe the munches are more for "checking each other out" and do not request that specifically, as I would prefer that you instead concentrate your energy on smoothing or eliminating some already present negativity before you potentially invite additional experiences of a similar nature. I think possibly just jumping in on current sub-related chats in the forums will provide you will a place to express concerns or simply issues which will be common among some submissives, depending upon how they are treated by their Master/yss. Perhaps starting a thread and inviting some of the others who are subscribed to My journal would be a good approach. Several of them, crashanova, and smilinguy are fluent and insightful writers, as well as gustavus, and I can send you more personally. Lady Masteryss Angellika D Very goode effort. Masteryss

DesFIP -> RE: Friendship among subs/slaves (8/5/2009 9:57:01 AM)
I would suggest reading the boards and see who you resonate with. If you find yourself nodding your head at a certain poster's comments frequently, then write that person and ask if they would mind talking to you about things when you need help thinking them through. Beyond that, find a local munch in your area, see if the people hosting it know of a sub support group, or if you feel drawn to any of the other subs in the munch.

KCalli -> RE: Friendship among subs/slaves (8/5/2009 10:19:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic I do not see this as a personal ad. Let us discuss things that are of sub nature. Why does one submit to another even though they are given the choice of freedom? Does submission equate to being a doormat? What feelings do you immerse yourself in when the collar is donned? Does each dominant have a submissive side? Does each submissive have a dominant side? Can the D/S roles reverse and still hold true to the roles? These are all questions I would like to hear from my fellow subbie friends. I will post my own feelings on the matter when I wake up tomorrow... or eventually. It will be tomorrow. Good questions! I will take a shot at it. My reason for submitting: Until I discovered the D/s relationship, I was incredibly scattered, and could say no to anyone (vanilla world). In my submission to Sir, I have felt a huge weight lifted and freedom given to focus on Sir, entirely. Sir is wonderful and encourages (within the parameters of respect, and when I need to discuss, I call a "vanilla moment" and we speak freely.) me to grow and learn. I am far from helpless, being a vet of 10 years service, ff/emt, and all that jazz, and he values intellegence and thinking. Submitting is in no way being a doormat. If you feel like that, you might not have the proper Dom for you. I dream of the day I am collared. I would wear it as a badge of honor. I can't think of any better way for all to see, for him to honor me (public viewing would be something that would not be noticed too much by the vanilla world). I see no hint of submission in my Sir. He is probably kinder than some as he will take the time to explain things and be very clear about what he expects. He says that if I am understanding, than I can serve him more completely. He says when one is left to guess, it is bad for all. I do have a small dominant urge (I wouldn't call it a side, as it is not all the time), I guess you would call it, and he recognized this when we spoke of fantasy play. He makes arrangements for me to have this fantasy on rare occasion when he sees the need for me to have this.

pyroaquatic -> RE: Friendship among subs/slaves (8/5/2009 11:54:35 AM)
Why does one submit to another even though they are given the choice of freedom? I choose to submit because it gives me strength. It allows me to see far beyond my own eyes, to feel more than what my nervous system can tell. I submit out of love and that tingly feeling one gets when I am on my knees looking upwards in her eyes with a want. I submit because I am the one she wants. Does submission equate to being a doormat? While being a doormat is painful and can lead to being heavily used I will only be a door mat for My Lady. I ask of her to watch out for the kidneys because I need those to serve her... What feelings do you immerse yourself in when the collar is donned? I cannot be shaken-whatsoever-by anything except for who the one who put it on my neck. I feel safe, secure... and dare I say it relaxed. My muscles soften as they are always tense. I am hyper vigilant of my form the body takes but supple. Does each dominant have a submissive side? I feel each dominant submits time and energy into the submissive, but only so that the dominant can be better served. Does each submissive have a dominant side? If the dominant refuses to go to the doctor it would be disobeying the "submissive takes care of the dominant" part of my programming. I would demand-respectfully-for the dominant to go to the doctors. I am dominant to other people.... at least neutral. Can the D/S roles reverse and still hold true to the roles? Yes, see the above 2 questions and answers. Well that was fun. Any more questions to add to this?

littlesarbonn -> RE: Friendship among subs/slaves (8/5/2009 12:39:29 PM)
Yeah, I'd also recommend just going to some munches in your area. I can't tell you how many sub friends I've made at munches over the years. And these are the real people, not the posturing people you find on message boards (not to say everyone here is posturing, of course), but you really get to know people when you meet them in person. I've had a few close female sub friends who have gone to bdsm clubs with me, and we have a great time, cause sometimes we're both looking for the same thing, and it kind of freaks out the dominants when there is a sub couple looking for something and acting pretty discriminating about it as well.

MMagic -> RE: Friendship among subs/slaves (8/7/2009 9:46:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wineDineNtieMe If this is viewed as a personal ad it will be deleted soon by the moderator. The best thing I can advise is participation in this board and correspondence on "the other side" (that means send c-mail) and see if you can strike up a friendship. I have met a fellow sub that I wonder if we were sisters in a past life, lol. I find there are a lot of nice people here who are willing to give you a chance as long as you don't rub them the wrong way. How do you rub them the wrong way? I can't tell you that, but should you do so, YOU'LL KNOW IMMEDIATELY! This board is a good source of information and can be a great way to meet people. Hello Sister from another Mister!! Where you beens, I misses your emails!!

LillyoftheVally -> RE: Friendship among subs/slaves (8/8/2009 2:11:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TantaMount2Much I agree that the boards are a goode place to discover your confidante, however, I believe the munches are more for "checking each other out" and do not request that specifically, as I would prefer that you instead concentrate your energy on smoothing or eliminating some already present negativity before you potentially invite additional experiences of a similar nature. Actually munches can be about what ever you like them to be about. Many munches are almost exclusively couples. Sometimes it is far better to have the 'real life' connections to have discussions rather than online alone. quote: I think possibly just jumping in on current sub-related chats in the forums will provide you will a place to express concerns or simply issues which will be common among some submissives, depending upon how they are treated by their Master/yss. This is the best thing to do, you don't really make friends by asking for them it just happens over time. quote: Perhaps starting a thread and inviting some of the others who are subscribed to My journal would be a good approach. Several of them, crashanova, and smilinguy are fluent and insightful writers, as well as gustavus, and I can send you more personally. I doubt that would be taken too kindly on here, seems a bit ego massaging, I think point number two is the best. OP, It really is just about getting involved, using the main boards to talk about issues and the polls and random stupidity to have more casual chats and getting to know people.

XaviersXian -> RE: Friendship among subs/slaves (8/8/2009 4:40:00 AM)
greetings to all, OP, I am more than willing to help you. I remember how hard it was when I first started on my journey (I had no support whatsoever). Just cmail me. well wishes,

pleasuredancer -> RE: Friendship among subs/slaves (8/8/2009 9:58:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TantaMount2Much I agree that the boards are a goode place to discover your confidante, however, I believe the munches are more for "checking each other out" and do not request that specifically, as I would prefer that you instead concentrate your energy on smoothing or eliminating some already present negativity before you potentially invite additional experiences of a similar nature. I think possibly just jumping in on current sub-related chats in the forums will provide you will a place to express concerns or simply issues which will be common among some submissives, depending upon how they are treated by their Master/yss. Perhaps starting a thread and inviting some of the others who are subscribed to My journal would be a good approach. Several of them, crashanova, and smilinguy are fluent and insightful writers, as well as gustavus, and I can send you more personally. Wow. The only thing here that I can agree with is the comment on smilinguy. When I first entered the scene, I was fairly quickly collared and owned. I knew that I would need some women around me who I could turn to for support, just like your lady has told you to do. I am not a terribly social person, but I started going to munches to meet people, and focused on meeting other sub women. From there, I was invited to a women's group that met monthly. Those women formed the basis of my social circle for some time. This is what munches are for-- to connect with people. The ones I have attended are not intended for trolling for new partners, but rather focused on interacting with people to broaden and deepen one's base of friendships. Though I am on the forums a lot, that isn't where I get my needs taken care of for interacting with other women-- for that, I need to see them in person. I would develop a broad base of connections, both online and in real life.

BalletBob -> RE: Friendship among subs/slaves (8/10/2009 3:57:17 PM)
I am game (but don't shoot me). I love to write and get e-mails, so contact me if you like. Lurking too, sub BalletBob

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