A question about usage...

A question about usage... (Full Version)

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varicoloredboi -> A question about usage... (8/5/2009 5:42:20 AM)
Nooooo...I am not speaking of your usage of me, or anyone else. I am speaking of word usage. I have noticed that a great many tops/dominants/masters utilize the terms slave and submissive (charge) interchangeably. I am curious as to why. I define myself as a slave. I am not into a scene, there is no such thing as a safe word (seriously, if I am indicating that I am in some sort of critical distress and you don't have the sense to stop, then, why in the world am I even with you.), I am owned. I am property. I am also giving a gift. As a slave, I am placing the entirety of my being, heart, mind, body and soul into your care and keeping. Do you really think about these gifts and how significant they are? I am not simply a masochist, I am not a bottom, scening with a series of scripted events, and a list of "you won't do this, or that's". I am not a charge who, while the relationship is more frequent than that of a bottom, still utilizes safe words and hard limits. Slave. No limits. No rights, or privileges, save those granted. If you are seeking a slave, to me, that indicates you are looking for a 24/7 relationship (whether this means physically cohabitating or not is not relevant). You, to me, are also indicating that you are prepared to care for everything I am, just as I am prepared to care for everything you are. So, why do so many here so casually throw about the title of slave as if it was not the most significant gift anyone has to offer? I truly don't get it, and, I would like to understand. Please, do not take the above as bashing, it is not. I would simply like to understand how such a precious word became so demeaned in usage and context (yes, I do get the use of the word in a scene as a mood/atmosphere/emotional trigger phrase). I cherish the gift I have to offer someone. You aren't going to get it on the first meeting, nor the second. If you and I have things to offer one another and we are compatible, then, my gift will be extended to you through a genuine askance for your collar, in time, for, just as I have to be worthy of you, you have to be worthy of my gift. I don't take that lightly. That collar, that mark of ownership is the most precious possession a slave can have. It conveys, to my way of thinking at any rate, a bond far deeper than any wedding band, for no wedding band conveys the level of giving that a collar does (seriously, how many wives can dictate what clothes the husband wears, whether he is in chastity, how he eats, how he sleeps, what he does, etc.,...?). So, please, help me to understand, if you will be so kind. Thank you, Scott

ignoreme -> RE: A question about usage... (8/5/2009 5:49:28 AM)
The problem is that in practice there is no clear boundary between both, where sub stops and slave starts, of course they are different things but a lot also applies to both slaves and subs. This causes the words to be interchanged a lot.

DarkSteven -> RE: A question about usage... (8/5/2009 5:55:03 AM)
Sometimes the term "s type" is used to apply to both subs and slaves.

varicoloredboi -> RE: A question about usage... (8/5/2009 5:59:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ignoreme The problem is that in practice there is no clear boundary between both, where sub stops and slave starts, of course they are different things but a lot also applies to both slaves and subs. This causes the words to be interchanged a lot. Please pardon me, but, I am not understanding what you mean by "no clear boundary".

RedMagic1 -> RE: A question about usage... (8/5/2009 6:07:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: varicoloredboi That collar, that mark of ownership is the most precious possession a slave can have. It conveys, to my way of thinking at any rate, a bond far deeper than any wedding band, for no wedding band conveys the level of giving that a collar does (seriously, how many wives can dictate what clothes the husband wears, whether he is in chastity, how he eats, how he sleeps, what he does, etc.,...?). I know vanilla spouses who would die for each other. It kinda puts kinky "selflessness" and "sacrifice" into perspective. I get the fact that you didn't intend to bash, but please understand that you're coming off to me as saying that a slave's gift is far greater than the commitment anyone of a different sexual orientation could possibly give. Frankly, that just hasn't been my experience in real life. Men and women who prioritize kink as highly as you seem to, often fail to grasp that "nilla" things, like being there for your partner when s/he feels down, are far more important to a relationship than whether you say "Yes dear" or "Yes Ma'am."

varicoloredboi -> RE: A question about usage... (8/5/2009 8:59:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 "...please understand that you're coming off to me as saying that a slave's gift is far greater than the commitment anyone of a different sexual orientation could possibly give." If this is how this has come across, it was most certainly not intended that way. My comment about marriage versus a collar was not meant to suggest that there can't be deeply committed relationships outside of a slave collar, but, the power dynamic of a master/slave relationship entirely changes the nature and scope of that committment. A slave, from my perspective, places more on the plate, so to speak, with regard to the level of responsibilities to their owner than say a husband does to his wife who is his equal. This is NOT saying that the vanilla relatioship is not significant compared to a master/slave one. There is no better here, simply significant difference, which, as I said, seems lost in the rather generic usage of the term slave, which led to my original question. I hope I have been able to somewhat clarify a rather complicated line of thought in a paragraph. Scott

RedMagic1 -> RE: A question about usage... (8/5/2009 9:11:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: varicoloredboi A slave, from my perspective, places more on the plate, so to speak, with regard to the level of responsibilities to their owner than say a husband does to his wife who is his equal. One of my best friends is a vanilla woman who was married to a male sub for 15 years. He would watch femdom porn, say, "Let's do this," and she would oblige him because she felt it was part of being a loving wife. She cuckolded him, pegged him, and did a whole lot of other things. Do you place as much on the plate as she did? What if your owner said, "We're going to be vanilla, starting right now, because that sexually pleases me more." Would you do your best, for years on end, to be her very best vanilla lover, putting your kinky desires on hold because they were not what she wanted? Or are your sexual urges more important than your commitments?

varicoloredboi -> RE: A question about usage... (8/5/2009 9:20:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Sometimes the term "s type" is used to apply to both subs and slaves. Would you please clarify this?

varicoloredboi -> RE: A question about usage... (8/5/2009 9:25:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 One of my best friends is a vanilla woman who was married to a male sub for 15 years. He would watch femdom porn, say, "Let's do this," and she would oblige him because she felt it was part of being a loving wife. She cuckolded him, pegged him, and did a whole lot of other things. Do you place as much on the plate as she did? What if your owner said, "We're going to be vanilla, starting right now, because that sexually pleases me more." Would you do your best, for years on end, to be her very best vanilla lover, putting your kinky desires on hold because they were not what she wanted? Or are your sexual urges more important than your commitments? Clearly I am not making myself understood to you. I will think on this while I am at work to see if I can make myself better understood. As to your question, if that is what my owner demanded of my slavery, then, yes, I would. I would be no less her slave, since being so is not about how you have sex.

Arpig -> RE: A question about usage... (8/5/2009 11:43:26 AM)
I have said this before, and I am sure I will have to say it again... A "slave" is a sub who self-identifies as a slave. A "sub" is a slave who self-identifies as a sub.

DePubed -> RE: A question about usage... (8/5/2009 12:29:38 PM)
In the BDSM book called "The Market Place" the author(ess) writes about a fictional academy where people can apply & enter to become 'slaves'. Although this is an erotic fiction novel it is very insightful regarding personalities of top/bottom/submissive/slave/domiannt, etc. For example, the straight male 'slave' candidate, who self-identifies as a slave, and who seeks to be totally and 100 per cent obedient, does so in this fictional academy because he expects to do so with a WOMAN Dominant; but once he is lengthily trained to simply obey & do whatever he is told, he is sold to a MAN for same-sex services! There is a female 'sub' who enters this academy to become a real slave where she can be sold to a man for his sexual use; and upon completion of her training, however, she is auctioned off to a LESBIAN! whom she must now serve, and NOT a man as she fantasized. I think that you get the concept of this book: a gay male slave, if he IS a slave, may have to give oral sex to a WOMAN(!); a straight male slave, IF he is a slave, may have to suck cock; a female straight slave, if she is a slave, may have to do oral sex on a woman, etc. As mere 'subs' they would not want to be sexual with the same-sex, but as 'slaves' they do as they are told. Their own preferences/orientations/kinks/fantasies dont matter to anyone. I thought this was a helpful insight.

captainblack -> RE: A question about usage... (8/5/2009 12:44:49 PM)
Because a slave has no choice in these matters I make sure fairly early on in the training of a new slave girl to put her in the situation of licking another woman's pussy. If she does well she is praised. If she tries to refuse, or does a poor job she is punished on the spot until she puts herself into it with gusto. I find one thing many "so called slaves" on this site, both male and female do not get is that when they give themselves as a slave to someone they give up the ability to chose to only please sexually a person of their sexual preference. I once had a gay man respond to one of my adverts when I was looking for a m/f couple. He ran out of the interview when I told him that not only would he not be servicing me sexually, but that tomorrow I would arrange a test of his pussy licking skills. If a lesbian female came to me to be a slave girl you can bet she would be used by men during her training even if my primary sexual use for her would be pleasing other females. CB

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: A question about usage... (8/5/2009 7:10:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: varicoloredboi I am also giving a gift. As a slave, I am placing the entirety of my being, heart, mind, body and soul into your care and keeping. Do you really think about these gifts and how significant they are? <~~ Her slave has never bought into the "giving the gift of submission" thing himself The fact is, his submission was there, available, waiting for the right Someone to claim it. Nobody seemed to want it. As far as Her slave is concerned, if any gifts were given, She gave him the gift of Her Dominance.

TexasMaam -> RE: A question about usage... (8/5/2009 9:17:55 PM)
This is a good post and a valid question. I'm old school, so to Me, there is no comparison between a sub and a slave. A sub has a will of his own, can dictate his own future, is a participatory half of a whole. A slave has/is none of these things. Today's cyberblogs use the two interchangeably when they probably shouldn't. It is also probably true that most slaves would not be allowed online access to discuss their status, except in the most liberal of households........ TM

varicoloredboi -> RE: A question about usage... (8/6/2009 2:41:02 AM)
I would like to thank all of you who took the time to answer my query. From it I have gained two things: A much clearer understanding of the answer to my question, for which I am greatful. More importantly, although, not necessarily as a direct result of anything anyone has said, I have been given a smile by some of you here. Thank you all again. Scott

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