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JCVash -> RE: What do you consider Disrespect??? (8/5/2009 8:09:06 PM)
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Much as I am loathe to, I think there needs to be a little clarification here. Firstly I'll address it in stages and try to clear a few things up. But I have to say Red....your keen psychic skills astound me ..
quote:
As a general principle, though, cutting someone an order without providing that person with the tools needed to accomplish that order, is bad leadership practice. My sense of things right now is that he is a dom with weak leadership skills, and you are a sub with weak communication skills. Both of you own part of this mess.
As you may have guessed, I am caraV's Dom. So to clarify everything lets put it in time frame. For a start, it was Sunday before last cara said she would quit, cold turkey. I had a long conversation with her about just reducing the amount of smokes she had, rather then going cold turkey, for I am keenly aware how hard it can be.
What also isn't known, and I am rather loath to bring up is I thought if she could succeed in giving up cold turkey then I would be astounded, and very proud, though if she didn't then I'd follow through with my word and punish her for backsliding, with the ultimate objective of having her quit, but with the affore mentioned gradual reduction in smokes or patchs. However cara also attended a funeral, had some other tragic circumstances also eventuate which I dislike disclosing and am only doing so, so the afore mentioned pyshic Red, can then have a better reading and situational awareness for just flinging out the casual he or she must be this or that, weak or bad leadership. Given the circumstances of her weak I was inclined to leniency, and yes I found out because she was smoking while on the phone, so I do have valid cause to believe she had, had a bad weak and was smoking without thought out of habit. Finding out of course doesn't excuse her and I am currently punishing her, as well as having spoken with her about a more reasonable way to quit smoking, and have put it into effect. I firmly believe in some situations if my slave wishs to try something, even if I doubt it will work, I will support her 100% till she learns different.
I do believe general discussion is just that, I have no intention of making people I meet on a chat board privy to my private life. Granted you had little information to go on but hey give just a little information in return rather then your considered inept proffessional opinion. As for the nature of her question, it was to do with respect, which came up when she asked how her smoking could have possibly hurt me. And I told her disrespect. Which stems from the fact she told me she would do a thing, that I would support her in her decision, and of course punish her if she backslide to give her both balance of positive and negative reinforcement. So is it disrespect, though while I didn't make it an order for her to follow exaclty (yes I encouraged her to quit for her health and she had a want to anyway) I got behind and supported her as her Master, to do so and then failing, she also neglected to tell me she failed. I would call it disresepect, though others may have differing opinions.
So please comment on that and note I am not releasing her for this transgression, nor do I think I ever shall, I happen to love my slave and believe she's worth my every effort. And to cara's credit and my everlasting pride and joy, she learns incredibly swiftly, and is in my honest opinion one of the finest slaves I have ever encountered (If you have to ask I have encountered hundreds, lived and owned several) not because she is perfect at everything, but because she has heart, and fire, a deep abiding passion to learn and be pleasing. So no while a little disappointed in her, she's definately not one I am giving up for something as hard to do as quitting smoking.
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