RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (Full Version)

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girlygurl -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/10/2009 10:43:49 AM)

Are you really ready to do this? Opening your home up to a friend and her children is a very nice thing for you to do, but are you sure you're ready to give up your privacy? Are you ready for all the drama that will surely occur with the new house guests?

I don't mean to sound negative but I'm being realistic and sharing your living space isn't going to be easy. I commend you for opening up your home to them, I couldn't do it.



Termyn8or -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/10/2009 10:50:24 AM)

Right on Man, you drink or whatever to have a good time. Mother told me, no matter how much you drink or get high, the same problems will still be there.

You were good enough to take this on, just see it through. The part now that I wonder is just how long is this arrangment to last ? A year or what ? The duration of her parole ? That could be a long time. I don't care how well you get along, or how good of friends you are, when this time is over you will feel relieved when she goes out on her own. Not an enemy, but the absence will be appreciated. This is natural. That is why I don't let anyone live with me, even if it turns out goood when they leave, you have the feeling that you are well rid of them. That is human nature. Was it Ben Franklin who said something about "After four days........" ?

Enjoy those first four days, it's probably all downhill after that. Don't try to bury yourself in a bottle, drink when you feel good and want to have a good time. They will be there when you get home from the bar. Last thing you need is to get all fubared up and start shit, so bring up any problems as they come, do not hesitate. The deal is the deal, but you also have to manage not to annoy one another. Communicate before things become a problem.

So it should be apparent from my posts why I would rather live alone. Of course one exception would be a suitable concubine but lacking that, I like it best this way.

T



pahunkboy -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/10/2009 11:14:11 AM)

Great point!    What is the exit plan?


What day does it end?


Anytime I lived with anyone we had an understanding as to a time frame when it was over.

You should have that spelled out.   6-8 months?    Soonest date-  XYZ latest date  ABC.

MUST

MUST

MUST---


I been asked 2 times to put up someone here at my house.  I said no.  I recognized that I will be the bad guy- PERIOD.   If I get used then kick the guy out- then I am the bad guy- compared to if I say NO now- I am the bad guy.

SO either way I end up the bad guy.  Nothing in it for me-  so be mad now and get over it.

Even when I visit family or vice versa we have an idea as to when the leave date is.   That way we have to get along to a certain day- it makes for less friction.





SilverMark -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/10/2009 11:24:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

What are you looking for. a gold star!!!

You are either helping out a friend, because you think its the right thing to do, and they are really a friend.

or you're doing it to earn brownie points and make yourself look good.

Why does your post sound like the second option.!!!!!!!

What a crass thing to say about a guy that is to my knowledge sincere and obviously good hearted!



Termyn8or -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/10/2009 3:13:31 PM)

People just do that Mark. Actually I was not impressed with the "Am I cool", but I figured maybe he was buzzed or in a wierd mood when he posted it so I decided not to shit in his cheerios.

That is the difference between people, some see the good, some see the bad. I try to see both sides.

It really doesn't matter much, I wouldn't do it. Not that I wouldn't help anyone, I just can't fathom having roommates for longer than like a couple of weeks max, and that is under some serious circumstances. Even though this is the exact type of  charity in which I would engage, I just don't know if I would "proof" my house. Get rid of the guns and a few other things. I have in here what I want, and that is very hard to give up.

T



sirsholly -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/10/2009 3:27:38 PM)

quote:

Actually I was not impressed with the "Am I cool", but I figured maybe he was buzzed or in a wierd mood when he posted it so I decided not to shit in his cheerios.
i live in Pa and here "Am i cool?" means "Am i doing the right thing...on the right track?" or something like that. I admit i am not well versed in slang.



Termyn8or -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/10/2009 4:07:06 PM)

That;s the problem with English Holly, that particular statement of only three words can be taken two ways. No wonder there is so much confusion on discussion boards, blogs and such.

T



SoulPiercer -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/10/2009 4:19:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveboyforyou

I am allowing my incarcerated pal to parole out to me in January. I've already agree to it throught the Department of Community Corrections. According to them, I need to have space for a seperate bedroom (got that). I need furniture (bedroom suite for her....working on that; it will take me a month at least), need a wholesome environment (I drink like a sailor, so I have to rid myself of all the booze. But other than that, I'm cool. She will be on the bus route, she will be within walking distance of local stores and shops. Her children will have sleeping space to visit (her youngest son will have a place to sleep in the living room, her daughter will be able to sleep with her. (good enough to me.). So all of you social workers.....Am I cool? I don't do dope. I don't allow dope in my home. I work full time. I have things planned for my friends' kids (softball, basketball, camping, etc.) I am working on all of that. Am I cool?


I didn't read all the responses, so if this was covered already I apologize.

Will there be any monitoring like an ankle monitor or periodic phone calls? If so, you might be required to:
A. Have a home phone installed if you don't already have one..
B. If you have a home phone, remove any additional features such as Call Forwarding and Call Waiting.

You'll need to check that out and get it done before her release date. Corrections will call to verify that has been done and in some cases will not release her until those changes are made. If it is required, call your phone company, make the changes and let them know it is okay to release only that information when the Corrections department calls for verification.

Do that .. get yourself a mullet, then you'll be way cool. Dude.



servantforuse -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/10/2009 4:25:32 PM)

I still am interested in knowing why she was 'in' in the first place. There was a previous thread concerning her and I don't think it was ever answered..



pahunkboy -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/10/2009 7:38:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: servantforuse

I still am interested in knowing why she was 'in' in the first place. There was a previous thread concerning her and I don't think it was ever answered..


yes it was.   some type of bad check-= this was discussed in a thread a while back....



LafayetteLady -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/10/2009 8:51:05 PM)

It is very nice of you to do this for her. It's also nice that you want to plan activities for her kids, but remember, those are HER kids, and it is HER job to entertain/do things with them. Since the kids don't live with her full time, there are no requirements for bedrooms and such, as I'm sure you figured out. If your friend is familiar with the area you are in, she will know what to do with her kids, if not, make some suggestions. Do you have a game system such as Playstation or X-Box? While the teens are eating everything in site, a game system is something that will tend to keep them busy. Although I would suggest not having any games such as Grand Theft Auto, lol. Actually, it's a game and the POs know that and won't give you a hard time.

As for tempering your drinking.....sounds like something that you probably should be doing anyway.

Relax, stop stressing over it so much. You met all the housing requirements they asked. Continue to be supportive to your friend as you were through her entire incarceration and let her know that you are there whenever she wants to talk.



pahunkboy -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/11/2009 11:37:52 AM)

The OP has a romantic interest in the gal.

This is something to be concerned about.   If there is a very young kid then the house has to be child proof.  Things that a kid can get into.  For info on that- do some digging.

If I ever give out a key to my place it is one lock.  And one I can change later if I so decide.   (rather then one key that opens several locks)

The beauty of being an adult- is that we are free to make mistakes if we want... hopefully it will all work out.



slaveboyforyou -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/14/2009 6:05:57 AM)

Pahunkboy, as I said before, STOP ASSUMING shit. I have a completely platonic relationship with the above described person. She is my friend. She has been my friend since 2004. I want to help her out. I have no sexual motives for doing this; trust me, I can get sex whenever I want. Stop assuming things that are not there. You don't know what you're talking about.

edited for spelling



Vendaval -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/14/2009 9:53:15 PM)

IME, "am I cool?" is a question to make sure all the bases have been covered.

PS - Costco would be a good idea for stocking up on supplies. Nothing is as aggravating as finding out your house guests have used up the last of the toilet paper or toothpaste.




quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

Actually I was not impressed with the "Am I cool", but I figured maybe he was buzzed or in a wierd mood when he posted it so I decided not to shit in his cheerios.
i live in Pa and here "Am i cool?" means "Am i doing the right thing...on the right track?" or something like that. I admit i am not well versed in slang.




corsetgirl -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/14/2009 11:22:55 PM)

I used to work as a secretary for the State of Florida in the Department of Corrections. You may want to check the conditions of her parole orders. If she is on house arrest, then she has to be very conscious of her weekly time schedule. Every state is different in that area. The conditions of parole are very stringent and there could also be random testing. If your friend tests positive for any drugs, then she can possibly face going back to prison. That can also include her not having any alcoholic beverages, too.

I have to give you credit for trying to help your friend get on her feet and hope she does well.








slaveboyforyou -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/15/2009 4:33:21 PM)

Something funny:

I visited my friend today. She got called into the Warden's office last week. They brought her in asked her who I was. She told them I was her best friend. They gave her a deep explanation of visitation, and they explained that they were on top of her visitation.



angelikaJ -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/15/2009 4:38:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveboyforyou

Something funny:

I visited my friend today. She got called into the Warden's office last week. They brought her in asked her who I was. She told them I was her best friend. They gave her a deep explanation of visitation, and they explained that they were on top of her visitation.


What was their concern?



lronitulstahp -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/15/2009 4:44:59 PM)

quote:

trust me, I can get sex whenever I want

*perves slaveboy's profile pics....nods in agreement*



VanIsleKnight -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/15/2009 4:48:11 PM)

I was smart as a kid and a teen.  Easiest way my parents kept things I wasn't supposed to get into away from me was to keep it locked up in the trunk of the car or at work or in a storage area.  Hell, the ammunition for my dad's rifles and hand gun were locked and secured AND hidden (he was a police officer btw) and to top it off, in a place that played against my weakness.  Height.  =)

Still, I did find a bunch of stuff they didn't mean for me to find, like my dad's skin magazines, my mom's "romance" (see, female porn) novels, adult videos, Christmas and birthday presents...

Most of the time it was by accident, but yeah.  Keeping stuff off-site makes it way easier.  Hell, if you want to be -really- sneaky throw in a decoy room or lock box that supposedly has stuff in it.  Then put in a message that says "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids."

At the very least, their attention for getting into something will be focused on the decoy.  If they're the types to do that sort of thing.  Best of luck to you, and I really do wish you the best.  I don't know if I could do something like you're doing, it's a very unique thing.



slaveboyforyou -> RE: Help me! I have to make my home teen worthy in less than 4 months. (8/19/2009 7:21:03 AM)

quote:

What was their concern?


I'm involved in our state's politics. I'm well known in those circles. I actually show up and participate in city and county board meetings. I know my state reps and senators. I've met with them. They know who I am. My father was the chairman of the Republican Party in this county for several years. So I have a voice in the press. It bothers the state's correctional department. I've already been told to back off. But, I won't and told them so. I've already warned them about the criminal implications of retaliation toward inmates over outside (free world) friends' advocacy. It's in the law; It's a felony. But, they try to fuck with anyone that questions the government. I don't care; they don't scare me.



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