BDSM - Dangerous? (Full Version)

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VanIsleKnight -> BDSM - Dangerous? (8/7/2009 3:31:28 AM)

I live in a fairly safe part of the world (yay Canada!), but reading through some of the forum posts I swiftly realized that this lifestyle is, dangerous a little?  I mean not the obvious "you're using electricity on that person!" kind of danger, but the type from predators on the inside, and closed-minded people from the outside, and even (apparently) the authorities?

I'm a bit concerned.  I'm -very- new to this world so please forgive me for being a little naive, but what sort of things should I know or be aware of to keep myself out of trouble or danger?



RapierFugue -> RE: BDSM - Dangerous? (8/7/2009 3:49:24 AM)

I can only speak from the dom side of the fence, but ...

The same instincts which serve you in "normal" life work equally well within the BDSM world. If you wouldn't trust a person IRL, why trust them purely because they're operating within a BDSM sphere?

I'd also point out, on the flip side, that the rewards, in terms of personal fulfilment, far outweigh (in my opinion at least) the negatives.

Yes there are certainly “predatory” types within BDSM, but are there more than in the “normal” world, such as in singles bars, web sites and suchlike? I don’t think so.

“Polite” society (what a misnomer that term is) may frown on some of the actions and lifestyles within this realm, but considering some of the things that same “polite” society considers morally acceptable, I don’t feel they’re in any position to take a morally high-handed approach.

Just be patient, don’t leap into anything too quickly, and don’t leap into anything that doesn’t “feel” right, or right for you, no matter what someone else may say about it. It’s your life, and these are your choices.



SmokeSerpent -> RE: BDSM - Dangerous? (8/7/2009 3:56:03 AM)

RapierFugue covered most of what I mean by this, but the most dangerous thing in "this lifestyle" is yourself. Being submissive doesn't have to mean being stupid and pulling the wool over your own eyes with regard to the people you are interacting with, but it's a trap many fall into.





chiaThePet -> RE: BDSM - Dangerous? (8/7/2009 8:11:32 AM)


¡uʍop ʇǝƃ ʇ,uɐɔ ı puɐ ƃuıʍs xǝs ǝɥʇ uı ʞɔnʇs ǝɹɐ sǝlʞuɐ ʎɯ ¡dlǝɥ

chia* (the pet)



SmokeSerpent -> RE: BDSM - Dangerous? (8/7/2009 11:05:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet


¡uʍop ʇǝƃ ʇ,uɐɔ ı puɐ ƃuıʍs xǝs ǝɥʇ uı ʞɔnʇs ǝɹɐ sǝlʞuɐ ʎɯ ¡dlǝɥ

chia* (the pet)



haha!



LillyoftheVally -> RE: BDSM - Dangerous? (8/7/2009 11:08:48 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: VanIsleKnight
but the type from predators on the inside, and closed-minded people from the outside, and even (apparently) the authorities?

I'm a bit concerned. I'm -very- new to this world so please forgive me for being a little naive, but what sort of things should I know or be aware of to keep myself out of trouble or danger?



LIFE can be dangerous, you meet closed minded people all over the place, even from those that you would assume wouldn't be. Not a BDSM specific thing. How do you navigate through day to day life? Do the same



LaTigresse -> RE: BDSM - Dangerous? (8/7/2009 11:12:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanIsleKnight

I live in a fairly safe part of the world (yay Canada!), but reading through some of the forum posts I swiftly realized that this lifestyle is, dangerous a little?  I mean not the obvious "you're using electricity on that person!" kind of danger, but the type from predators on the inside, and closed-minded people from the outside, and even (apparently) the authorities?

I'm a bit concerned.  I'm -very- new to this world so please forgive me for being a little naive, but what sort of things should I know or be aware of to keep myself out of trouble or danger?



I find that good old common sense works wonders. Though it seems very few people have it.



kccuckoldmist -> RE: BDSM - Dangerous? (8/7/2009 1:06:14 PM)

As you wrote so well and has all the others who have written back. Common sense and understanding this is not some alternative universe where humans are different and act different.

There are people as already mentioned that fear the unknown and people in this life that promote fear to eliminate competition and to feel they are special. The key is being self aware, know what you are about and wanting and seek out the right person for you and not just anyone who might be interested in you.

Compatibility with the right person who is sane and cares about you makes all the difference in the world in calming fears.




VanIsleKnight -> RE: BDSM - Dangerous? (8/7/2009 9:04:51 PM)

Alrighty, so more or less the same thing that I do normally anyways.  Thanks for the kind responses.  :)



DesFIP -> RE: BDSM - Dangerous? (8/8/2009 9:52:32 AM)

I rarely worry about the police breaking into my house and arresting us because I'm tied up and yelping.

But some stuff is dangerous absolutely. Trusting the wrong person or not knowing what you're doing, and things like breathplay is inherently risky. Or electricity above the waist.



awmslave -> RE: BDSM - Dangerous? (8/9/2009 6:26:05 PM)

I bet you are much more likely to  meet assholes and abusers in "vanilla" world.



VanIsleKnight -> RE: BDSM - Dangerous? (8/9/2009 8:44:18 PM)

Just realized what breathplay was. Uhm. Scary.  Electricity somehow sounds like it -could- be fun though.



DesFIP -> RE: BDSM - Dangerous? (8/10/2009 3:04:39 PM)

I bet the rates of assholes and abusers in wiitwd is damn near identical to those in the 'vanilla' world. And for the same reason, people are attracted to that because it is familiar to them.

Electricity is traditionally done using a violet wand or an electric bug zapper, the ones that look like a tennis racquet. But if you take a violet wand and clip the two clips on someone's nipples, you are running electricity across their heart. And you better have a defib machine on hand if you're risking inducing a heart attack. Take a workshop on it first or find someone in your local community who is good at it and ask for lessons.

If you're doing fireplay, the risk of lighting the sheets on fire is always there. Keep a large towel soaked in water at hand. Risks can be reduced by following all the safety recommendations. And by learning how from someone who is an expert.



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