effects of submission on your real life?

effects of submission on your real life? (Full Version)

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kemen -> effects of submission on your real life? (8/8/2009 10:42:32 PM)
fellow slaves and subs, has your life as a submissive to your Owner had a negative impact on your life outside of BDSM/Gor/etc? When this boy first entered the world of Gor on IRC, he was arrogant, snobbish, and just generally unpleasant to be around. Being a slave to his first Mistress, however, trained him to be polite, conciliatory, and humble; to say words like "please" and "thank you" and he learned that real strength can lie in serving, and in enduring. Now, however, after having been away from Gor for several years and doing very well in his job, he decided to return. Since returning, he has begun to lose some of his leadership skills and abilities in his real life, particularly with regards to his job. he has also lost confidence in himself and this has interfered with his ability to interview for a new job. This boy is becoming afraid that he may need to leave again, or else be unable to move forward in his career and in his life in general. Have any of you had similar experiences? If you have any advice that might help, please share. Thank you.

littlewonder -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/8/2009 10:59:35 PM)
quote: however, trained him to be polite, conciliatory, and humble; to say words like "please" and "thank you" yeeaahh...I learned to do those things in grade school..but anyway...no, online nor my submission to Master or any of my previous relationships has ever been detrimental to my career. Maybe you need to step away from the computer for awhile?

sweetsub1957 -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/9/2009 12:53:19 AM)
Interestingly enough, to me anyway, my discovering I'm submissive has had a positive impact on my life. I used to be kind of a doormat in general. Now I'm way more assertive and in control than I used to be with everyone except Sir.....with Him I give over and surrender my control. I had to learn to be more assertive and in control of my own life, to make sure that the vultures didn't take advantage of me.....and I learned it in short order and the hard way.

LillyoftheVally -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/9/2009 3:25:19 AM)
I cant blame the impact on anyone but myself, I followed stupid orders that affected my education at uni when I was new and excitable. Massive lesson learned I am a bit more sensible now. To be fair tho it is not submission that has a negative impact it is relationships that can and do. I had a bloke who built my confidence up only to rip it down a few months later, I was silly to let him have that element of power. Again my fault really.

Shaykers -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/9/2009 3:38:29 AM)
I, like lilly, had a very similiar experience. I was young, niave, but unlike you I don't blame myself. I met someone who had done nothing for the last twemty years or so, and think about nothing except better ways to hurt boys. I have recently told this individual, exactly how I thought anout the whole situation. (Suprisingly, I actually used words instead of the 30/30 I wanted to use ;) ) But I have noticed almost 180 degree turnaround in myself. Although I am more mellow now, I am also some what more hostile, not a good trade-off in my eyes.... Ohh well, C'est La Vie... Zhasto Ne?

LillyoftheVally -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/9/2009 3:42:52 AM)
I blame myself for not making adult choices, I was being stupid to allowing someone to do that. I still think both men are twats but I picked em

kuriouswitch -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/9/2009 3:50:18 AM)
I've found being submissive to Master to have a positive influence on my life. I'm more secure in myself and have more confidence. I don't feel like I'm just floating with no destination or goal. And I've learned too that being submissive is a natural part of me and I feel fullfilled when serving.

Aileen1968 -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/9/2009 4:30:57 AM)
I've found the opposite to be true. My submission has made me more efficient, more energetic and more motivated than I ever have been.

petmonkey -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/9/2009 7:49:47 AM)
quote: he has begun to lose some of his leadership skills and abilities in his real life, particularly with regards to his job. he has also lost confidence in himself and this has interfered with his ability to interview for a new job. As seen from the comments above, it is general consensus that submitting should make one more confident and feel more fullfilled than without it. If the experience is not doing this, it is time to re-evaluate limits and needs. Do not purposefully ignore one's overall well-being for the sake of any type of relationship and do not engage in a relationship with a Mistress who purposefully ignores such things either. Purposefully destroying one's own property is not the act of a healthy mind. Serve a Mistress with a healthy mind and have a healthy mind in turn.

thesubmissiveboy -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/10/2009 12:02:55 PM)
The only positives I've gained from being submissive with my mistress (x mistress I should add) was that I became more confident in my role, and learning to be a lot more cautious (due to certain situations I've been in). But I don't feel it has changed me outside of the lifestyle. My job and personal life is very demanding and requires me to be very assertive and dominating if you like. Like a lot of submissives, it is opposite to what I desire. But I feel I am naturally submissive, always wanting to please and make people happy. I always have been like that, even before serving my mistress.

Mercnbeth -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/10/2009 12:05:27 PM)
being Master's slave IS this slave's career---submitting to Him IS this slave's real life.

leadership527 -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/10/2009 12:12:33 PM)
quote: kemen stated: This boy is becoming afraid that he may need to leave again, or else be unable to move forward in his career and in his life in general. Have any of you had similar experiences? If you have any advice that might help, please share. OK, step back from the hookah and just think about this statement. If you are subjecting yourself to the leadership of one or more people and their influence is turning out to be detrimental to you, it seems like you have three choices: a) Stop submitting entirely: Probably the best choice if you can't pick wisely. b) Stop submitting to idiots: Nice, but requires that you be able to choose those you submit to better c) Continue as is and become damaged: Easy and the path of least resistance. Pick your poison.

Mercnbeth -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/10/2009 12:15:47 PM)
quote: OK, step back from the hookah... hey now, not everyone who enjoys the hookah has issues with logic...just sayin'.[:)]

daintydimples -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/10/2009 12:17:20 PM)
When I am fortunate enough to be in a relationship with a dominant male, it has a very positive effect on my life, b/c it has a very positive effect on me and who I am as a person. I am a more well-rounded person, I function better, I am at core a happier individual.

BotanicalMiss -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/10/2009 12:23:21 PM)
As a dominant, I would say that if you look at your job performance as a way to make your Mistress proud, your focus will change so that you do your work to the best of your abilities. From my limited understanding of Gor, I believe that male slaves are the very bottom of the food chain and perhaps that idea is what is making you allow yourself to suffer in the "real world". Perhaps looking into a different D/s philosophy from the gorean one, wherein a polite, confident and strong male is a treasure, may be of benefit to you. If the particular path you are leading is detrimental to your confidence, feelings of self worth, and success then I would say it's not a good path to be on. Best of luck to you. ~Botanical Miss~

VeeTee -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/10/2009 1:59:05 PM)
When I am with the right Master, he makes me a better person. All the way around. With him, with others, at home, at work. For me, any relationships, D/s or otherwise, should make me a better, happier person.

fadedshadow -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/10/2009 2:01:05 PM)
because i'm not able to engage in the lifestyle, i feel more or less hollow inside

DesFIP -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/10/2009 2:52:33 PM)
I have found one unusual negative side effect. I was always nervous driving new places, especially with lots of traffic. Since he does all the driving except around town, and it's a small town, I have discovered that I really can't go someplace entirely new if it involves highways. I simply haven;t done it in so long I have lost that ability.

littleone35 -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/10/2009 3:06:04 PM)
Belonging to Master has had a positive effect on my life. When i was inschool he was my biggest cheerleader and gave me incentives to do well. I am a happier person (not that i was not before just happier now). More relaxed and fufilled and moore productive. I just feel good having him in my life. Matt's littleone

darrkdezzire -> RE: effects of submission on your real life? (8/10/2009 4:42:27 PM)
Master has had a positive influence on me and my life. He wanted someone that understood the balance. At first I didn't fully understand what that meant, but he was willing to teach and show me how to do that. The things that he has taught me regarding the "lifestyle" flows over into my work and home life.

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