RE: Young submission and its consequences

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Young submission and its consequences

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Young submission and its consequences

Page: << < prev 5 6 [7] 8 9 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 11:27:34 AM

JonnieBoy

Posts: 1468
Joined: 4/22/2009
From: Cymru
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wyzardsgirl

quote:

I have virtually no experience with US military law ... which is why I merely offered a translation.

Pirate

I'm failing to understand why this entire discussion has devolved into a military debate.

It hasn't, but it is obviously a sensitive PART of the discussion. I'm not picking up the cudgels over it, just tried to translate a bit, It is BLATANTLY clear to me that (and as well, from previous in depth discussions elsewhere) there are significant cultural and legal differences between the US and the UK, I don't arbitrarily expect someone from the US to understand the UK and vice verca, hopefully some of the foolish kneejerk reaction can be avoided with a little effort eh?

Pirate

(in reply to Wyzardsgirl)

Post #: 121

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 11:28:00 AM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

Jonnie you need to talk to your friend about anger and yeah your advocating and seemingly making excuses for her behavior disgusts me. As i said in the post you conveniently againt cut out of context -- i am angry with her, angry for her daughter, and yeah disgusted with you as you seem to be advocating what she is doing. Your posts in her defense seem very enabling to me.

So let me ask you straight out because its a little foggy and as i said your protection of her seems you are but for clarification sake -- are you advocating her enabling, excuse-making and denial more than just ME are seeing her do?

Yeah Jonnie i do have anger regarding what i am reading and her excuses -- my anger is on behalf of her bloody and bruised daughter. This whole thread has touched a nerve Jonnie, i am not denying it nor am i ashamed of it as you seem to be implying i should be. I hate to say this but whatever you ARE doing or saying to her is obviously not making her see reason based on her replies and yours on this thread.

Sorry i am not upset in the least because i am angry and i am not ashamed that this whole thread touches a nerve. Are you implying i shouldn't be angry and disgusted at what i am hearing from her? Are you saying i should be ashamed because this thread touches a nerve?

Sorry but your personal attacks on me don't bother me -- i am angry and this thread has touched a nerve -- i would be very surprised if it hasn't for a lot of people. And again, if you wish to talk about anger and touching a nerve -- ya might want to look at Prinnsex posts. But i can see how you would need to be biased i mean after all you talked to her on the phone -- the saint you are lol.

angel

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to FullCircle)

Post #: 122

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 11:32:22 AM

JonnieBoy

Posts: 1468
Joined: 4/22/2009
From: Cymru
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

He will learn to pick on men of his own size in the Army rather than young women.

Wow...you really believe that???

Not my words folks (just clearing that up, I'm sure it's just the way it looks and not deliberate littlewonder, but I don't need a debate on Army values right now

)

Pirate

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 123

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 11:35:27 AM

JonnieBoy

Posts: 1468
Joined: 4/22/2009
From: Cymru
Status: offline

Attacks? ... on you, since when has defence against the attacks of another (you) been an attack?

Jog on!

Pirate

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 124

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 11:39:27 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

After reading through the entire thread, forget the drama and bullshit, but this appears to be yet another case of a parent trying to be a child's best friend instead of their parent.

I never took into regard whether or not my kids were going to like me, and keeping them safe took priority over like or temporary trust. I say temporary because any that is lost will be regained tenfold in the years that follow.

I was a very strict parent. I made my kids scream that they hated me when I intervened with potentially dangerous or destructive issues.

Today, at ages 28 and 30........they thank me. And, we are very close, best friends, like each other and even respect one another.

Prinnie, quit trying to be her buddy and friend and do the difficult thing, be her mother. Protect her, not only from the abusive little prick but also from herself. Someday she will thank you.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 8/9/2009 11:40:49 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to JonnieBoy)

Post #: 125

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 11:50:04 AM

FullCircle

Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

After reading through the entire thread, forget the drama and bullshit, but this appears to be yet another case of a parent trying to be a child's best friend instead of their parent.

I never took into regard whether or not my kids were going to like me, and keeping them safe took priority over like or temporary trust. I say temporary because any that is lost will be regained tenfold in the years that follow.

I was a very strict parent. I made my kids scream that they hated me when I intervened with potentially dangerous or destructive issues.

Today, at ages 28 and 30........they thank me. And, we are very close, best friends, like each other and even respect one another.

Prinnie, quit trying to be her buddy and friend and do the difficult thing, be her mother. Protect her, not only from the abusive little prick but also from herself. Someday she will thank you.

I imagine it is a dangerous tightrope because if her daughter sees her as the enemy the daughter and her abusive partner may cut her out of their life whereby she'll lose all control over the situation.

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 126

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 11:58:13 AM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

Chuckles -- i noticed you didn't answer the question Pirate -- enough said.

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to FullCircle)

Post #: 127

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 1:40:55 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

After reading through the entire thread, forget the drama and bullshit, but this appears to be yet another case of a parent trying to be a child's best friend instead of their parent.

I never took into regard whether or not my kids were going to like me, and keeping them safe took priority over like or temporary trust. I say temporary because any that is lost will be regained tenfold in the years that follow.

I was a very strict parent. I made my kids scream that they hated me when I intervened with potentially dangerous or destructive issues.

Today, at ages 28 and 30........they thank me. And, we are very close, best friends, like each other and even respect one another.

Prinnie, quit trying to be her buddy and friend and do the difficult thing, be her mother. Protect her, not only from the abusive little prick but also from herself. Someday she will thank you.

I have called the Police to more than one of my children more than once. not interested in being rheir friend. Nor friend to the hoards of their friends who pass through my house.
Parent. House mother.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 8/9/2009 1:50:54 PM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 128

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 1:43:33 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

I have called the Police to more than one of my chilften more than once. not interested in being rheir friend. Nor friend to the hoeards of their friends who pass through my house.

what the hell is a chilften?

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 129

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 2:06:10 PM

Starbuck09

Posts: 724
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

Prinsexx as a therapist do you perhaps not a connectionwith your own experiences which I am sure were very deeply unpleasant and how you are reacting to your daughter's present situation. You must know as well as I do that a classic symptom of abuse is that the person on the receiving end will create excuses as to why the abuser acts as they do and why in turn they, the abused, deserves it. You're doing that exact thing here. However your daughter has behaved is not an excuse for this man to act as he has done. here havebeen plenty of tims when a woman has done something revolting towards me and I have ben sorely tempted to lash out. I never have though because I am a man and am able to control my baser emotion rather than vice versa.The fact tha is joining the army is again no excuse whatsoever. His grief and tension at leaving should be handled far better. If he was suibtable for the army he would handle these feelings better. Cleary he is not yet ready, on this score I do know what I am talking about. I understand that you are frightened of losing your daughter but that is not going to happen if she is intelligent. If she is stupid then you might have a problem. Your fear of having temporary emotional upheval should not outweigh the very real possibility that he will kill or maim her. Why not speak to the boys parents I am sure they would be horrified at his behaviour and could perhaps take action that is difficult for you to do in your position.

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 130

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 2:11:18 PM

FullCircle

Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
]what the hell is a chilften?

Is it.....a tank made in the UK or someone with a pointy hat that leads a tribe?

< Message edited by FullCircle -- 8/9/2009 2:12:00 PM >

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 131

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 2:33:02 PM

VanIsleKnight

Posts: 283
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline

This story in general is just sad and depressing.

*edited for politeness*

< Message edited by VanIsleKnight -- 8/9/2009 2:34:30 PM >

_____________________________

Apologies for what you feel might be a spelling error. I'm Canadian.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 132

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 2:42:45 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

I'm kind of surprised having read through this thread, or rather somewhat shocked.

I see the OP, Prinsexx in a rather difficult situation here with her daughter.

I'm not too sure what throws me the most here, whether it's the unanimous clamouring for therapy for both her and her daughter, or the hostility and animosity directed towards the OP together with the judgmental narrow-minded attitudes.

Really. It's a thread like this which makes me wonder whether this is an online scenario of a community congregating in the local village hall.

This could also be the website of the International Council for the Promotion of Therapists. Really.

You wouldn't think it's a website concerning WIITWD, a website full of people who get involved in beating, whipping, flogging, pissing, and a whole host of other perversions which 20-30 years ago would have been classed as sexual deviations and behavioural abnormalities which would have excluded the vast majority of us from society and brought the interest of both the medical profession and the law.

Not that I'm trying to muddy or obscure the very clear distinction between WIITWD and abuse. I'm not. But the thing is with abuse you don't always see it coming, you don't always recognize it, and it also follows that you're not always able to deal with it.

Just what is this universal standard of.. normality that many of you seem to be clinging to? Who are you to judge via such an online medium (when many of you advocate meetings and interactions in real time) whether someone needs therapy or not?

When since did having a child mean that you somehow have to attain some level of perfection and infallability? Are you seriously expecting me to believe that none of you have had your UM bring some sort of drama into your life or that there has been some drama that you've struggled to cope with?

I have first hand knowledge of the OP, Prin. We are in daily contact, online, and offline, by text, by phone, and we meet. She runs her family, works, writes, and lives just as much as we all do, but in her own way. She's an individual, she stands out, but the bottom line here is that she functions.

Therapy doesn't always work. I've been in therapy three times. Twice it resulted in a suicide attempt. Therapy to me is something you go for when you are unable to function, not something you go for to make you more socially acceptable to others.

Is she dysfunctional? Yes she is. But then again so am I and so are a lot of people. We all live, we all interact with people, and after a certain age, like it or not, we all have issues. The only way to avoid having issues in life is to lock yourself away in a cupboard and stay there.

Some have deeper issues than others but you know at the end of the day we all walk our own individual paths through life and we all have our crosses to bear.

Seems to me that some who have posted here have perfect clarity of vision when it comes to other people, but a certain sort of myopia when it comes to themselves.

Now please don't take this as me having total agreement with Prin, I don't, I don't because I don't have an opinion, I'm not a parent, I don't have a daughter, I have no realistic way of putting myself in her position and her shoes, although I am trying and giving her the benefit of the doubt. Colour me neutral if you like.

I'm here because after reading I just felt it necessary to post to counter the hostility and invective that some of you have for her. If it causes you to be hostile to me then so be it, I'm not here to be popular, I'm here as Prin's friend and as with friends I stand by them no matter what and will come to their defence if necessary.

And therefore I'll stop here but just ask some of you out there to take a moment to pause and reflect on what you have posted, to take a look at the hostility and invective and try to see it for what it is. Just for a moment.

'Let he who casts the first stone...' or whatever.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to JonnieBoy)

Post #: 133

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 2:45:02 PM

FullCircle

Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanIsleKnight
This story in general is just sad and depressing.
*edited for politeness*

What was wrong with the previous version???

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to VanIsleKnight)

Post #: 134

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 2:47:25 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

~fr~

You know Prin, I never thought you were the kind of woman who needd to pull something like this to get attention.

What a disappointment.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to FullCircle)

Post #: 135

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 2:52:24 PM

JonnieBoy

Posts: 1468
Joined: 4/22/2009
From: Cymru
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
i have no experience to speak of Jonnie...just common sense (i do have some, on occasion) if there is no documentation there is no case.

No case ? what to prove . .... that you have common sense

!

(Joking)

Pirate

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 136

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 2:52:31 PM

Starbuck09

Posts: 724
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

Stella prinsexx has asked the public for advice and the public to the best of their abilities is giving it. It is only possible to judge a situation by looking at the evidence presented in this case all we have to go on is the original post. That prinsexx is in a deeply unpleasant situation is irrefutable. Likewise is the fact that her own experiences make this doubly hard. However that doesn't mean that the advice given is wrong just because it urges hard decisions. In this particular case it seems to me that therapy would not be a bad idea, prinsexx seems to be repeating patterns of abuse and now that her daughter is having the same problems perhaps certain attitudes have been imprinted. YOu are her friend stella so you know better but personally I can only comment on what I have been given and I think my advice is sound.

(in reply to FullCircle)

Post #: 137

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 3:02:58 PM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

She's a prick tease and provokes him.
She uses her beauty and her submission to get what she wants and she thought she could manipulate him.
There's a flip side to every coin.
And the side of this that no one seems to want to address is that women abuse too.
I'm not saying she deserved to get dragged along the pavement or beaten the way she did. But on the eve of going away in the army, having turned his life around the way he has, he didn't deserve some slut of a prick tease following him around the streets last night.
I'm surprised I can see it so clearly from both sides. But I can.

She wouldn't be the first lass who has batted her eyelids and shown a bit of flesh. Usually it doesn't end in the lass being dragged along the pavement. Following him round the streets and being a prick tease? He could have just told her to fuck off somewhere if he wasn't interested.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 138

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 3:03:40 PM

marie2

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline

It could be that she is submissive to him, but that doesn't mean he isn't being abusive to her. Submission and abuse unfortunately aren't mutually exclusive, and sometimes the lines do in fact get blurred. If she is submissive, it could possibly be a case of immaturity in that she isn't prepared to channel her submission towards a healthy and functional relationship yet. No matter submissive or not, the bottom line is that although she seems to not want this treatment, she continues to go back for more. And it would appear that it can or will get worse and that she could be in serious danger, therefore I wouldn't even concern myself right now with whether or not she is doing this from some submissive frame of mind, or as the result of low self esteem or whathaveyou.

As a parent of a minor, I think I would play that card and just lay down the law about seeing the guy. If she was a legal adult that wouldn't be possible of course, but that's what I think you should do Prinsexx while she is young enough that you still can. Don't let her out unless you know where she is going to be and who she will be with. I would also put in a call to the boy's parents and try to discuss the issue rationally with them,without placing blame.

I'm sure this has gotta suck for you. Best of luck in getting this issue under control.

(in reply to Starbuck09)

Post #: 139

RE: Young submission and its consequences - 8/9/2009 3:03:41 PM

sublace

Posts: 201
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Thats what inexperienced submission looks like.

No - it is not Prince sexx

< Message edited by sublace -- 8/9/2009 3:06:33 PM >

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 140

Page: << < prev 5 6 [7] 8 9 next > >>

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Young submission and its consequences

Page: << < prev 5 6 [7] 8 9 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094