RE: Obedience vs. Passivity

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RE: Obedience vs. Passivity - 8/11/2009 8:10:40 AM

LaTigresse

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One thing I had to learn was that, all too often, passivity is simply a sign of fear. Once a passive person learns to trust and understand that they have value beyond their obedience, they can become less passive. More animated and forthcoming with their own thoughts.

It often depends upon their past and the influences in it.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 8/11/2009 8:11:11 AM >

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RE: Obedience vs. Passivity - 8/11/2009 10:07:08 AM

PeonForHer

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. . . elected to embrace the outward demeanor

If it's only your outward demeanour you're not all that passive, Arillis!

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RE: Obedience vs. Passivity - 8/11/2009 10:20:06 AM

Arillis

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PeonForher: I am very passive, I allow anyone to appoint themselves a title and after a few weeks on the internet profess to being an all knowing dominant or submissive knowing everything about everything. I am so passive I don’t even bother to ignore or block them.

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RE: Obedience vs. Passivity - 8/11/2009 10:22:23 AM

PeonForHer

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All right, no need to get aggressive about it!

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RE: Obedience vs. Passivity - 8/11/2009 11:27:12 AM

daintydimples

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Taggerung

Adding my own two cents, I have to agree with everyone at the rate of sounding repetative. I've been lurking around here for a few days and figured this should bemy first post because it is what I feel most passionate about.

I do not want someone to just bend to my will because I associate a certain way. And if I was being ridiculous, I would want my submissive to tell me that in a polite manner. I have a lot to learn and, part of the journey is learning together. I'm not some ultimate ruler and therefore do not want someone who doesn't have an opinion. I want someone who can speak their mind and fit in with the vanilla world too.
If I wanted a submissive to be passive, I'd go buy a parrot and teach it to say Yes'am and be done with it. Probably be cheaper at the end of the day

Welcome to the forums, and very nice first post. I agree. The parrot would be cheaper and live longer, too!

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RE: Obedience vs. Passivity - 8/11/2009 2:59:17 PM

Arillis

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PeonForHer: I was not being aggressive, not at all. I am an introverted homely frail little fellow without an aggressive bone in my body.

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RE: Obedience vs. Passivity - 8/11/2009 5:21:17 PM

PeonForHer

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OK Arillis, I shall go along with that.

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RE: Obedience vs. Passivity - 8/11/2009 5:32:29 PM

LadyJulieAnn

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I went to dinner with a prospective sub a few years ago and was a bit unsure about whether to take it to the next level. We agreed to get together again where he was going to make me dinner. When discussing our plans, he didn't seem able to come to any decisions on his own, and wanted me to basically plan out the entire meal, includng table settings. That was the signal that things just weren't going to work out. While I want my sub to know my preferences, I also need a sub who can be proactive and plan things on his own. Nice guy, though.

LadyJulieAnn

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RE: Obedience vs. Passivity - 8/11/2009 6:20:36 PM

SthrnCom4t

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Passivity - YUCK! I require PROACTIVITY! I love witty, intelligent, self-starting, vibrant and alive.....who then looks at Me and says, "I'll follow wherever You want to go". Service - he who spends much of his time thinking about creative ways to make Me smile.

We - he and I create our dynamic. I understand him....his likes, dislikes, fears, strengths and weaknesses. I love a submissive with strengths.....I use these for My own advantage. I build up and support, as he has taken it upon himself to do for Me.

I value enthusiasm - IMMENSELY!

Shy? I'll draw you out.

Hyperactive? I'll give you active assignments away from me so that you'll be chill and mallable when you return.

Am I going to 'force' you? Doubtful. Will I inspire you to want to please Me with every fiber of your being? Absolutely!

Will you CHOOSE to 'obey' in order to be rewarded with My attention? More than likely.

Am I a Service Top? Hardly ever.

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RE: Obedience vs. Passivity - 8/12/2009 4:21:32 AM

Arillis

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Once again I am reinforced in my belief diametrically opposing mental and emotional forces in their extremes possess the magnetisms to cohesively bring to the surface both positive and proactive characteristics. PeonForHer, it has been a pleasure exchanging words with you.

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RE: Obedience vs. Passivity - 8/12/2009 6:14:58 AM

YoursMistress

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Oh dear. I still find the prospects of engaging in a personal and (maybe) physical D/s relationship quite daunting, to the point that I suppose it would be hard for me to be enthusiastic about it. Based upon my history, it's probably much more likely that I would assume a posture of feigned obedience and fearful passive resistance than any sort of active assertion of my own desires or wants.

Thank you so much, Miss LD, for a topic very pertinent to me, albeit one that stimulated a difficult introspection.

yours

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RE: Obedience vs. Passivity - 8/12/2009 6:18:05 AM

Taggerung

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples

Welcome to the forums, and very nice first post. I agree. The parrot would be cheaper and live longer, too!

I also wouldn't have to put up with pesky things like relationships or trying to make a good impression. Because no one cares about that stuff anymore
(Read: lololololololol I love relationships and admire backbone)

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RE: Obedience vs. Passivity - 8/12/2009 6:15:12 PM

LPslittleclip

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i am a submissive and not passive. the difference is i chose to submit and i have a mind and a will. i am also hyperactive(never forget my meds) i am a service oriented submissive so i enjoy cooking and cleaning. i have opinions and speak them(respectfully) it makes the relationship/dynamic more alive. I'm sure there are some who want a passive person sometimes but the majority want something more. my M'Lady and i enjoy discussing various topics, i don't always agree with Her but i am still Her submissive and accept her decisions.

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