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Meeting people - 8/10/2009 8:50:26 AM

bdsmlife20

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Joined: 7/22/2009
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I am having trouble meeting people on this site. I started out by sending messages to people, but I get few replies. How do you all go about meeting people and getting them to talk?

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RE: Meeting people - 8/10/2009 8:53:15 AM

LaTigresse

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Last I knew there was a pretty strong kink culture in Chicago. Google it, get involved, meet people.

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RE: Meeting people - 8/10/2009 8:54:59 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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what LaT said.

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RE: Meeting people - 8/10/2009 8:55:59 AM

beargonewild

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Have some patience and don't expect people to instantly want to start communicating and being friends with you right away. Try joining in discussions in a rational and adult way and you will soon find that people will want to know you more as a person and possibly as a friend. In this type of media, a person has to put a greater effort to show they are not an asshole or an idiot just trying to cause arguments and stir up bullshit.

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RE: Meeting people - 8/10/2009 8:59:12 AM

thishereboi

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I go to local munches and events.

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RE: Meeting people - 8/10/2009 9:59:52 AM

Sandor6

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I have found the majority of women here are basically rude. They don't mean to be, but by not acknowledging receipt or any other type of response to a message makes us all believe that human interaction here is difficult. And it IS........!

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RE: Meeting people - 8/10/2009 10:03:25 AM

GreedyTop

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RE: Meeting people - 8/10/2009 10:03:52 AM

MsFlutter

Posts: 1305
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http://www.lra-chicago.org

http://tngc.org/

http://freecal.brownbearsw.com/chibdsm

http://www.angelfire.com/ms2/BDSMINFOPAGES/Chapter10.html#Illinois

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RE: Meeting people - 8/10/2009 10:50:57 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sandor6

I have found the majority of women here are basically rude. They don't mean to be, but by not acknowledging receipt or any other type of response to a message makes us all believe that human interaction here is difficult. And it IS........!

Given the profiles I saw on his friends list when I looked to see where he is located, I seriously doubt it is the gender that is the issue.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Meeting people - 8/10/2009 10:55:11 AM

sweetsub1957

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sandor6

I have found the majority of women here are basically rude. They don't mean to be, but by not acknowledging receipt or any other type of response to a message makes us all believe that human interaction here is difficult. And it IS........!

Wow. I must be in the minority. I always answer every letter I get as soon as possible and as nicely as possible.

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RE: Meeting people - 8/10/2009 10:56:10 AM

toopolite

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@Sandor6

Umm excuse me?

I say BS! on saying women here on Collarme are rude.

The women on Collarme are very polite, nice and attentive.

For example when I see some nice pics in a womens profile and after I say something like thank you for shareing or thank you for posting these then I get a response thats polite, nice and attentive.

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RE: Meeting people - 8/10/2009 11:59:23 AM

SirLost

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sandor6

I have found the majority of women here are basically rude. They don't mean to be, but by not acknowledging receipt or any other type of response to a message makes us all believe that human interaction here is difficult. And it IS........!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2198831/mpage_1/tm.htm
http://www.collarchat.com/m_2200609/mpage_1/tm.htm
http://www.collarchat.com/m_955018/mpage_1/tm.htm
And many other threads those are about it.

For meeting people, I recommend chatrooms (connecting CM rooms with an IRC program like mIRC is much better than using the one built in the website). You can find people who views your profile and want to contact with you if your profile interest them.

(in reply to Sandor6)

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RE: Meeting people - 8/10/2009 3:00:59 PM

ShiftedJewel

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As one of those women on collarme I have to agree with Sandor. You just never know what you're gonna get when you send out emails... and even sometimes when you just look at the profile!! Which I did once, looked at a profile, decided that he was most definately NOT my type, closed the profile and went on. The next day I got an email informing me that he had no desire to live in Indiana. My reply was "Wow, that came outta nowhere, didn't it?"

I answer my emails, even from those that hold no interest at all for me. If I get rude emails I will answer them equally rude, I figured one good turn deserves another. And yes, I consider it rude not to respond in some way to emails. Soooo many people here have themselves convinced that no response is a response and to that I say bullsh$t. First off, the person that emailed you has no idea whether or not you even got the message so not responding to them is too much like leaving no tip at all at a restaurant. The individual is left to think whatever they want and no lesson is learned. For bad service I leave a penny. That says that yeah, I thought about tipping you, it really didn't slip my mind, but your service sucked. And I feel the same way about messages. If you don't want to reply to a cmail then no one is going to force you too, just please don't claim it to be a response in and of it's self. Unless your response is meant to say "I'm not replying to your email for any one of many reasons but mostly because I don't think you are worth my time and effort in any way shape or form and it's ok if you think of me a rude, lazy and non-communicative". And if that's the case, well, then you've succeeded and really shouldn't complain when the person that got that impression shares it with others.

Jewel

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RE: Meeting people - 8/10/2009 3:11:15 PM

LadyPact

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I disagree, Jewel. I don't answer unsolicited junk mail in My real life, I don't do it here, either.

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RE: Meeting people - 8/10/2009 3:29:05 PM

ShiftedJewel

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Ah, but is it unsolicited? Or does your profile say that if someone wanted to say hello then you would be happy to hear from them? It is, then, solicited. If you state that you are currently looking for an s-type and an s-type writes you, again, it is NOT unsolicited. And in my opinion (which is worth squat, I know that) if you have stated that you are looking to hear from someone that may fit in the catagory of people you want to hear from, then not answering them is NOT refusing to answer unsoliticed "junk" mail, it is, well... rude to invite a response to your profile and then not acknowledge that response.

Now for those that state clearly that they are not interested in meeting others in anyway and they still get emails, well, that would be unsolicited "junk" mail and no response is totally understandable, under that line of reasoning.

Jewel

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Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

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RE: Meeting people - 8/10/2009 3:39:30 PM

LadyPact

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Unless I'm mistaken, it also reads that I'm only interested in local people. The part where it says that I am happy to say hello only comes after stating My interest only in local interactions with straight or bi males who are submissive. It reads that I am not interested in CDs/TVs/TGs. It continues to say that I am not interested in online only contacts, which is where most people who will contact from out of the area are looking for.

So, if I receive emails from folks other than those categories, yes, it is unsolicited, as I've already provided the information regarding who I chose to interact with. The exception that I make to this is <gasp> people who use the forums. Which in My opinion (may also mean squat) is where the better content of folks are anyway.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 8/10/2009 3:43:36 PM >

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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Meeting people - 8/10/2009 4:38:42 PM

bdsmlife20

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Thanks everyone,

I would like to know a little more about the munchies. What tends to go on at them?

Would going to a club be to drastic for my first time?

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RE: Meeting people - 8/10/2009 6:04:31 PM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bdsmlife20

Thanks everyone,

I would like to know a little more about the munchies. What tends to go on at them?

Would going to a club be to drastic for my first time?

A munch is nothing more than kinky people meeting in a vanilla setting, almost always somewhere where food is served (thus the name). Just talk, no play.

Call the club, describe yourself, and see if you and they think you're ready for it.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Meeting people - 8/11/2009 2:44:37 AM

Acer49

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bdsmlife20

I am having trouble meeting people on this site. I started out by sending messages to people, but I get few replies. How do you all go about meeting people and getting them to talk?

Try going to the local munches in your area

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Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to bdsmlife20)

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RE: Meeting people - 8/11/2009 6:12:50 PM

Aanakaris

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The statistics show that writing a well thought out letter and sending it to somebody of similar interests gets you about a 20% chance of a reply. This was posted by Match.com, E-harmony puts up 21%, Alt.com 18%

The % goes down with the quality of the letter and similar interests.

So don't be discouraged. People are overly judgmental with emails. Any typo means your uneducated, one instance of bad grammar and you're a moron. Unlike chat or person to person, an email can be read over and over resulting in incredible leaps of illogic when over analyzed. I once wrote that I loved pets, especially big, slobbery dogs. The angry "bestiality is sick" response was amusing and amazing. How "Dogs are cool" became "having sex with animals" I don't know.

If somebody doesn't write you back, cross them off the list and move on. If they are rude for no good reason, block them and move on. It's easy.

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I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
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