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badasskitten -> Vertigo (8/10/2009 6:33:28 PM)
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my submission to Him has lifted me so high that it sometimes feels like being on top of an alter with 10,000 steps.
thru bowing before him,i have been exalted in spirit,and in deed.
i am literally standing on top of the world and i can see a panorama of things taking place beneath me..
the smiling faces of entities amassed in thick vanilla sespools and swamps.
. whispers of i had heard,or ooh girl did u know he did....
the lamenting of*that's not fair why does she get to..
and the cunning talk of..he doesn't have to know...
slimy hands all reaching up to pull me off those 10,000 steps and as they do i am looking for his protection,waiting for him to say something,DO, something to drive this mass of toxic vanilla sludge away from me..
i look to my left and i don't see him there,and then my right...nothing but a putrid pool of mal intent and neurosis swirling into a thick whirlpool of sadness and discontent ,anger and envy...
a raging hell within the souls unfortunate enough to be in it's wake...
and i lose focus,and stumble..
lose my confidence and falter,
lose my faith in he who dedicated his time, effort and patience to teach me to serve with grace.
and then..i fall..tumbling down those 10,000 steps as those smiling faces turn into scowls
those i had heard's turn into,i knew he aint give a fuck about you..
those ooh gurl did you know he did's into..yeah and now while you are down here with us i may as well tell you he did this too..hurt don't it?
those he will never have to knows turn into, since u have fallen so low u should be gettin on ya knees for me...
the sticky feel of the vanilla sludge ripping away the very aura that surrounds me,while i ask myself how i got here to begin with...
and then i look up to the 10,000 steps i so radiantly and beautifully stood upon just a moment ago and the steps weren't steps at all..
.but his strong and loving hands cupped together,so i can get back up and take sanctuary where i feel most at home..in Him....
he washed the filth off and cradled me to reassure me...
He told me that it will all be fine if i block out the noise and that nasty,toxic sludge and stay FOCUSED on HIM and HIM alone..
.if i do that i will never get vertigo again....
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