Sub or Dom? How do you know?

Sub or Dom? How do you know? (Full Version)

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Art4Love -> Sub or Dom? How do you know? (8/10/2009 8:38:04 PM)
I had my first BDSM experience about a week ago, and well the lass refused to be dominant.. don't get me wrong, she was pulling all the strings, but she let me be Dominant.. Can't really explain it other than that.. It was amazeing though! Um, so my question is this.. how does one know if they're Dominant or Submissive? I was certian I was a Sub, but yeah.. that was different..

littlewonder -> RE: Sub or Dom? How do you know? (8/10/2009 8:57:21 PM)
you either like to lead...thus you're a dom or you like to be led...in which case you're a sub/slave.... or you like both and you're a switch

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Sub or Dom? How do you know? (8/10/2009 9:08:42 PM)
I know I am submissive because when I am in a relationship with someone, He needs to be the one who "pulls the strings" and holds the power in the relationship.....and even though I can do these things for myself, I consensually surrender my decision-making to Him & I like it that way. If she was pulling all the strings, but she let you be Dominant, it sounds almost like she wanted a "service Top." Or maybe she was just trying to teach you if she was more experienced? Anyway, my congrats on having your first bdsm experience. [;)]

leadership527 -> RE: Sub or Dom? How do you know? (8/10/2009 9:15:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Art4Love I was certian I was a Sub, but yeah.. that was different.. Yeah, and I was certain that GOOD men didn't drag their wives around on a leash... live and learn. More seriously, maybe what you learned is that.. you know... humans are complex? Saying you're a sub doesn't define you as a human. It merely states that this is one facet of a very complex whole. And apparently, at least in some minimal ways (and perhaps more should be explored) there's some sort of dom facet in that picture too... just like a lot of folks.

SouthernSpankin -> RE: Sub or Dom? How do you know? (8/11/2009 12:44:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Art4Love I had my first BDSM experience about a week ago, and well the lass refused to be dominant.. don't get me wrong, she was pulling all the strings, but she let me be Dominant.. Can't really explain it other than that.. It was amazeing though! Um, so my question is this.. how does one know if they're Dominant or Submissive? I was certian I was a Sub, but yeah.. that was different.. Depends on who you are with. With one person, you being D and her being S is awesome. With another, you being S and her being D is awesome. With another, switching is awesome. Like someone said above, it's complex... but if you hit it off with someone and you both like the way you hit it off... isn't that a good thing?

MistressAsher -> RE: Sub or Dom? How do you know? (8/11/2009 4:21:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Art4Love Um, so my question is this.. how does one know if they're Dominant or Submissive? You don't know it. You FEEL it!

badlilthang -> RE: Sub or Dom? How do you know? (8/11/2009 10:11:34 AM)
quote: You don't know it. You FEEL it! and yet...some Doms makes me want to HIT them and rebel against Them and Their childish and spineless arrogance.......Others makes my knee weak - merely with a whisper - i am still submissive., either way..chuckles... long day...tired...i might be rambling....ponders

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Sub or Dom? How do you know? (8/11/2009 1:04:49 PM)
Don't be in too much of a hurry to find out. Take your time and explore, find what truly works for you and go with that. It's taken Ma'am's slave decades to learn where he truly belongs. Most work it out in less time than that, but there's no need to rush it.

DesFIP -> RE: Sub or Dom? How do you know? (8/11/2009 2:15:58 PM)
She could still be dominant and you still be submissive, just not with each other. Every sub out there isn't going to feel submissive towards every dominant out there. Just chalk it off to a lack of chemistry.

LaTigresse -> RE: Sub or Dom? How do you know? (8/11/2009 2:21:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Art4Love I had my first BDSM experience about a week ago, and well the lass refused to be dominant.. don't get me wrong, she was pulling all the strings, but she let me be Dominant.. Can't really explain it other than that.. It was amazeing though! Um, so my question is this.. how does one know if they're Dominant or Submissive? I was certian I was a Sub, but yeah.. that was different.. I know because the very inkling of someone telling me what to do makes me want to beat them. Because the very idea of someone laying a hand on me without permission makes my blood boil. Because I usually end up being the one telling other people what to do. Because I am the one that ends up steering the ship, even if I didn't really want the job. Etc, etc, etc.... Still, all of the above doesn't mean I would wish to top you, or any other thousand bottoms. As others have said, she very well may be dominant and you submissive. You just may not have had the chemistry to make it work between the two of you.

cornflakegirl -> RE: Sub or Dom? How do you know? (8/11/2009 2:21:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Art4Love I had my first BDSM experience about a week ago, and well the lass refused to be dominant.. don't get me wrong, she was pulling all the strings, but she let me be Dominant.. Can't really explain it other than that.. It was amazeing though! Um, so my question is this.. how does one know if they're Dominant or Submissive? I was certian I was a Sub, but yeah.. that was different.. Do you mean she was in charge but you were on top physically? That's a perfectly valid variation. I am not a sadist or a top, a very gentle masochist and sub actually, but I have been with a Dom who liked pain and I found that I liked doing it because he controlled what I did and he got off on it.

SweetNika -> RE: Sub or Dom? How do you know? (8/11/2009 2:35:58 PM)
It sounds like she was in charge and simply gave you permission to top her. (at least that is what I got from the OP) I personally have always been drawn to strong men, to dominant men but I am very much an alpha female and rarely if ever bottom to women and have never submitted to a woman.

Art4Love -> RE: Sub or Dom? How do you know? (8/11/2009 5:45:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cornflakegirl quote: ORIGINAL: Art4Love I had my first BDSM experience about a week ago, and well the lass refused to be dominant.. don't get me wrong, she was pulling all the strings, but she let me be Dominant.. Can't really explain it other than that.. It was amazeing though! Um, so my question is this.. how does one know if they're Dominant or Submissive? I was certian I was a Sub, but yeah.. that was different.. Do you mean she was in charge but you were on top physically? That's a perfectly valid variation. I am not a sadist or a top, a very gentle masochist and sub actually, but I have been with a Dom who liked pain and I found that I liked doing it because he controlled what I did and he got off on it. Thats what I meant, for most of it anyways. But.. idk, it felt different than that.. I did things for her that I flat out refused to do for a girl I had loved very dearly.. I did things I dare not repeat out of shame, but she somehow made me enjoy it~ ^_^

TurboJugend -> RE: Sub or Dom? How do you know? (8/11/2009 11:49:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Art4Love I had my first BDSM experience about a week ago, and well the lass refused to be dominant.. don't get me wrong, she was pulling all the strings, but she let me be Dominant.. Can't really explain it other than that.. It was amazeing though! Um, so my question is this.. how does one know if they're Dominant or Submissive? I was certian I was a Sub, but yeah.. that was different.. It shows again that people can change and people can do as they please. About soemthings you shouldn't think tomuch. It was great....that counts.

NBCNCO -> RE: Sub or Dom? How do you know? (8/12/2009 9:26:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TurboJugend About soemthings you shouldn't think tomuch. It was great....that counts. I agree with this. I make this mistake frequently.

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