cautionary cam's? (Full Version)

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jasonslv -> cautionary cam's? (8/10/2009 9:03:17 PM)

hey i'm new to this and am embarrassingly just starting to figure out how to tell the difference between real and fake mistresses on this site.

i do need some help though....some of the ones i chat with ask me to put my cam on. one took pictures while i was posing for her and so i am wondering...

what kind of safety precautions should i take before putting my cam on for someone?

do many people record you and use it for blackmail?

how can i distinguish between the real and good mistresses and the fakes and looking for extortion?



sweetsub1957 -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/10/2009 9:40:33 PM)

I think "real" and true are a matter of opinion and of what one is looking for.  Whenever I hear those terms I always wonder, so who's doing the judging?  I think the ability to sift through and find what you are looking for comes with experience.

As for the webcam thingie.....I wouldn't put on a webcam for someone unless I am fully clothed.  The minute they would ask me to take anything off or do anything "intimate," the cam would get turned off....IMMEDIATELY.  Now I am with Sir & there is no way I would turn the cam on for anyone else.  Also, He doesn't ask me to do anything untoward on cam.  There is NO way of knowing who is recording you or not and who might be using it for blackmail, but if someone asks you to pose, I'm thinking that might be a clue.  There are some evil, wicked people out there who just love to take advantage of newbies, just as there are a lot of good people out there as well.

Finally, Mistresses don't have the corner on being "fakes."  There are "weal and twue" and "fakes and wannabes" of both genders and on both sides of the kneel.  It's just a matter of opinion and, like I said earlier, what you're looking for.  And by the way, welcome to the boards.  [;)]



jasonslv -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/10/2009 11:23:49 PM)

hey thanks for the welcome and for the advice. i definitely agree that experience is needed to sift through all the mess.

i'm not sure if the girl i've been talking with is planning to use things for blackmail or what. she seems very real and understanding, but you never know i guess. i posed for her and she showed me the pictures and was teasing me about letting them out, but always made me feel better by saying she wouldn't and that it was just teasing. i feel like she's just messing with my head as part of it, but as a newbie, i can't help but be nervous.



Politesub53 -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/11/2009 1:42:01 AM)

Quite simply, unless you are sure of the person you are camming with, its always a risk. The sensible thing is not to do anything you are worried might backfire on you. Personally I would tell a scammer where to go and threaten to call the police. Its doubtful they would keep trying to blackmail you.



StoneFox -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/11/2009 2:11:45 AM)

Awwwww, buddy! I feel for ya.

I've been chatting lately with a sub I really like and we cam sometimes. Even naked and dirty camming :gasp!: . The amusing thing is that, despite the fact that he and I are both into consensual blackmail, it's not something we've chosen to go forward with yet and to be honest...I thin k I just might like him too much to want to consider ever blackmailing him.

I guess in the end you just have to decide what you want. Are you cool with pictures of yourself being out there? If you're not, don't cam naked. If you can handle it and really are determined to give up control...then go for it and have some fun.

The best way to live...is living unafraid and unashamed. Think about it.



Arpig -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/11/2009 2:42:57 AM)

Its easy really. In order to blackmail you somebody has to have something you don't want revealed. Just don't give them that.



jasonslv -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/11/2009 10:39:08 AM)

thanks everyone for the advice....i guess i just need to have some common sense, but it's easy to get carried away in a session. especially as im basically just starting out.

anyway, i really appreciate the help :)



AAkasha -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/11/2009 11:21:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jasonslv

hey thanks for the welcome and for the advice. i definitely agree that experience is needed to sift through all the mess.

i'm not sure if the girl i've been talking with is planning to use things for blackmail or what. she seems very real and understanding, but you never know i guess. i posed for her and she showed me the pictures and was teasing me about letting them out, but always made me feel better by saying she wouldn't and that it was just teasing. i feel like she's just messing with my head as part of it, but as a newbie, i can't help but be nervous.



Have you talked to her on the phone and seen her on cam live, etc. to verify she is indeed a woman? That's a bigger concern :)

Akasha



marsneedswomen -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/11/2009 7:39:34 PM)


If they don't have a cam and you haven't spoken on the phone, don't do anything sexual on the cam.



LadyPact -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/11/2009 8:00:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Have you talked to her on the phone and seen her on cam live, etc. to verify she is indeed a woman? That's a bigger concern :)

Akasha



We don't always agree, but there are some things that we think so much alike about in certain areas.



jasonslv -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/11/2009 8:22:13 PM)

....now that's a disturbing thought. i'll make sure to figure that one out next time i talk to (hopefully) her



jasonslv -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/11/2009 9:18:43 PM)

so in my search for a mistress i met a new person who wants me to go up on cam (of course) and i asked to chat on the phone......i think i offended her because i did not trust she was who she says. was i wrong?



LadyPact -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/11/2009 10:22:24 PM)

In all sincerity, that really depends on the way she feels about it.  As I've told at least five males this evening, if I actually talked on the phone with every sub male that requested it, I'd never have time for anything else.



elegantcdgoddess -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/13/2009 9:11:53 AM)

I dont see much potential from true blackmail. Well if person is local, and you happen to be in town that has population of 100, yes it can get ugly, but i have used webcam on so many and never any problem. If you want safe way, find someone in england, hardly possible such person will blackmail you.

When it comes on phone and cam for "proof" i dont think it is rude, especially if you dont know the person well, or have reason to believe that pictures on profile are fake. Surpriseinly, so many on collarme, have $10,000 photo equipment just for their profile pictures, and there is huge growth in female lez dommes, with technically amazing photos. So yes, you should ask for comfirmation, something that will make you more comfortable, only then fun can begin.



jasonslv -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/13/2009 9:42:48 AM)

thanks everyone for the advice! i'm slowly getting smarter and picking out the real ones and i've been reading up on all the forums. it's a lot to get through, but then again...each topic has been incredibly interesting. anyway, thanks again for putting up with the clueless :)



shadowowl -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/13/2009 9:56:41 AM)

I have learned that cams are not fullproof lol.  specially if the "domme" is trans or ladyboy and is very passable.   voice is the only real proof to determine gender and even then you can buy phones with voice changers built in for like $50 in asia (though will sound very digital).    So I suppose just have to go with your feelings cause there are some very passable trans out there :P




elegantcdgoddess -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/13/2009 11:04:56 AM)

anything wrong with very passable dommes?



LPslittleclip -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/14/2009 2:38:17 AM)

find local groups and go to the meet and greets find a public dungeon, and of course ask for references.if no one has herd of them before then it may not be for you.I'm a submissive and proud of it. find the one that is for you.



pixidustpet -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/14/2009 7:40:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: elegantcdgoddess

anything wrong with very passable dommes?


i dont see anything "wrong" with anyone presenting as the opposite gender.  AS LONG AS they're being honest about it.

without researching it, i would imagine that there have been individuals who have come to harm by presenting as one gender while really the opposite.

not all males would be happy to find out the woman that they are speaking with is actually another male, for example.

kitten, thoughtfully



shadowowl -> RE: cautionary cam's? (8/14/2009 12:07:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: elegantcdgoddess

anything wrong with very passable dommes?

by their nature no.   by lieing about it yes.
I don't like lies.
want to be a Domme great, just include somewhere in profile or emails that you where not born that way biologically.  BDSM is all about Trust, so lies and deception do not promote trust.  There are plenty of subs that don't mind, there is very little reason not to be open about it.



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