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Do I know you? - 8/11/2009 9:17:11 PM

heratik101

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Joined: 8/8/2009
From: Houston
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Two Irishmen walk into a tavern. They sit down at the bar and each order a shot and a beer. They do their shots then chug their beers. "Another", they both order. Two rounds later they notice each other in the mirror behind the bar, the first one turns to the second one and says.
"You look familiar, would you happen to be from Dublin?"
The second snorts and says, "Why yes I am boyo, I'm from Dublin."
The first,"What part of Dublin?"
The second, "Why I am from the south part of Dublin."
The first smacks his forehead, "Me too, what street did you live on?"
The second, "O'Malley street."
The first, "Me too, what number did you live at?"
The second, "211, 211 O'Malley."
The first, "211 O'Malley?!, why I lived there too."
The second, "It's a small world, isn't it?"
The first, "It is, it is at that."
The second, "I know another bar where we can go and talk about the old times"
The first, "It sounds good to me. Let's go."
With that they each throw some money on the bar and stagger out the door.
A few minutes later the owner of the tavern walks in and asks the bartender if he has had any business this evening.
"Only the drunken O'Brien twins" he responds.

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RE: Do I know you? - 8/11/2009 9:56:33 PM

SweetPoosy

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An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter. As he's drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had a few too many drinks says "Hey, what's that little green thing down there?"
The green man runs down the bar gives the Englishman a raspberry, "SPLBLBLBLT!," right in the face and runs back to the Irishman.
The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, "Hey, what is that thing, anyway?"
The Irishman replies, "Have some respect. He's a leprechaun."
"Oh, all right." the Englishman says sullenly. They all go back to drinking beer.
An hour or so later, the Englishman is really plastered. "Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard!" he says. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a raspberry again- SPLBLBLBLBT!
This time the Englishman is really mad! "Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again I'll chop his willie right off, I will!" he shouts.
"You can't do that" says the Irishman. "Leprechauns don't have willies."
"How do they pee, then?" asks the Englishman.
"They don't," says the Irishman. "They go SPLBLBLBLBT."

< Message edited by SweetPoosy -- 8/11/2009 9:57:04 PM >

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RE: Do I know you? - 8/12/2009 9:01:43 PM

heratik101

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An irishman walks into a bar, sits down and orders two shots of whiskey.
"A two fisted drinker" remarks the bartender.
The irishman drains one shot and then pours the second into his coat pocket.
"I'll have two more." he says.
The bartender shrugs and refills both glasses. The irishman drains one and again pours the second shot into his coat pocket.
"You'll have to excuse me sir", says the bartender, "but why are your pouring whiskey into your coat pocket?"
"My friend", says the irishman, "one good thing about comin' into a pub and puttin' your money down is the fact that you don't have to explain yourself to anyone."
"I understand that", answers the bartender, "but it is a bit odd watching someone pour perfectly good whiskey into their coat pocket."
"So I'm odd am I," snorts the irishman standing up." Tell me sir do you see that I am standing up and flippin' you the bird?!" "This goes for you in your fancy clothes and your bar with it's fine trappings".
Just then a mouse pokes it's head out the irishman's coat pocket and squeaks, "And it (hic) goes for your cat too."

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RE: Do I know you? - 8/12/2009 9:37:50 PM

SteelofUtah

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An Irish man walks into a bar and orders 7 shots of fine Irish Wiskey.
The Bartender pours them out and the man downs them one at a time right after the other.
The Bartender asks "so what's that all about"
The Irish man looks the Bartender over and says "Just had me first blow-job."
The Bartender says "Oy! It's a Celebration then innet, let me buy you one"
The Irish man looks over and thinks about it then says "No, if the first 7 didn't get the taste out of my mouth I doubt the 8th would make a difference."

An Irish Man walks into a bar and says "Finest Bottle you got, cork it and leave it"
The Bartender gathers the best bottle in the house and gives the man the bottle and a glass.
The Irish man ignores the glass and starts chugging the bottle. About 3/4 of the way thorugh the bottle the bartender says "Hey take it easy that's the finest bottle I got and you're drinking it like it's piss take it easy."
The Irish Man says, "you'd drink it like this too if you had what I got!!!"
The Bartender takes a few steps back for safety and asked "Why what do you got?"
The Irishman finishes the bottle slams it on the counter and says "About a $1.36" Throws it at the bartender and runs out of the bar.

Steel

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RE: Do I know you? - 8/12/2009 11:07:15 PM

Musicmystery

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World's Shortest Irish Joke:

An Irishman walks by a bar.

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RE: Do I know you? - 8/16/2009 8:12:00 AM

Saratov

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That would be no joke lad, that gent is obviously very ill.

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RE: Do I know you? - 8/16/2009 3:35:13 PM

Aanakaris

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a whiskey.
He notices two strange things, a tiny little man is set up on the bar corner playing a tiny little piano.
Sitting across from him is a dark skinned man dressed in silk Arabian clothes.
"What's up with them?" He asks the bartender.
"He's a Genie, I freed him from a bottle and he granted me one wish."
"Really, do you think he'd give me one too?"
"Maybe, but speak up, the bastards nearly deaf."
The patron asks, "How do you know?"
The bartender replies, "Do you really think I would have wished for a 12" pianist?"

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