RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE".....

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE".....

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/15/2009 2:35:51 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arillis

I find it interesting the two women who whine and complain most about men are now complaining about men with money, I strongly suspect its because they have no money or the qualifications to amass it and at their advanced ages most likely never will. Not even if they find a john.

Is there any next of kin you'd like us to notify?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Arillis)

Post #: 241

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/15/2009 2:50:51 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Hmmm...... no qualifications for making money... Yep, just as I suspected, those two master's degrees and those professional credentials aren't worth diddly!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to StoneFox)

Post #: 242

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/15/2009 3:10:38 PM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

i've seen your money maker honey....trust me, with all you've got going on back there...the Master's degrees and stuff: ALL Extra!!!!

_____________________________

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 243

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/15/2009 3:18:29 PM

CaringandReal

Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

farmlandsub,

quote:

VanIsleKnight wrote:
So, some Domme's are golddiggers/harlots whose time can be bought just like any other chick on craigslist erotic services. Got it. ;D

farmlandsub:
Yet again comes another vulgar, un-educated, intolerant post in response to a person expressing the feelings of there heart. That type of attitude is why you never achieve a relationship with a person that will ever amount to any thing, BDSM or vanilla. TexasMaam never demanded, expected, required, or made compulsory any of the gifts that were given to her.

Your partner, TexasMaam, in a most tactless fashion, held up the gifts you've given her as yardsticks by which to measure others. Simultaneously, she derided those not in the same monetary position as the two of you. She describes your relationship as would an accountant - one of capital gains. Read her OP. I'm guessing the two of you don't measure each other the way the OP comes across. However, in the absence of any background to the contrary, I came to the same conclusion as VanIsleKnight.

Personally, I don't think it's anyone's business what vehicles and other, expensive gifts you give each other, and hence why I wrote: "I believe these are private matters best celebrated within the sanctity of the relationship and not used as public status icons". Your partner clearly felt differently though and decided to spew them all over this forum. So, if you put it out there, people will comment on it, especially when it comes across as tactlessly and judgmentally as presented in the OP.

Elan.

Claps slowly in awe and appreciation. That took a whole lot of guts to say, given the context. I congratulate you. I appreciate truth wherever it is to be found, and in this case it is quite clear where it lies. Thank you for having the balls to say it.

(in reply to ElanSubdued)

Post #: 244

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/15/2009 4:45:53 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
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Not that money is a determining factor, but its very empowering. The more money a person has, the more material, options, and security he can offer a relationship.

If I was in the dating market, I would certainly want as much money as possible, but if I don't have it, its not a prescription for bridge jumping.

I remember being in grad school and an older female student saying to me, "The older you get, the more everything just boils down to money."

Our culture has a way of making everyone feel they don't have enough money, don't have the best career, aren't making the most of themselves -- and without a doubt TM's post played right into that. It kind of inferred that anyone with a thin wallet or seeking a equal partnership was inadequate. (One could reasonably read it that way.) That's why it struck such a chord.

In sum:

"Hey, let me fly out to SF and take you to a five star restaurant," always plays a lot better than, "can you pick me up at the bus station and can we eat at your place."

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 245

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/15/2009 4:56:11 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
"Hey, let me fly out to SF and take you to a five star restaurant," always plays a lot better than, "can you pick me up at the bus station and can we eat at your place."

That hasn't been my experience. Most of the women I have dated have made more money than I do. Some have made a lot more. Not-being-a-dick goes a long way. Ultimately, she will spend time with me if she wants to be with me... and she'll spend time with someone else in a five-star restaurant if she would rather be in a five-star restaurant. (Edited to add: unless she pays, of course)

Women with dom, sub and switch profiles have bought me dinner. I've bought them things too. I honestly don't see why people get so frikkin bent out of shape about this. If you like spending time with someone, you'll do what it takes to spend time with that person. That's true whether you're dom or sub, male or female. There's no reason to make life more complicated than it already is.

< Message edited by RedMagic1 -- 8/15/2009 4:57:53 PM >

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 246

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/15/2009 4:56:43 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

In sum:

"Hey, let me fly out to SF and take you to a five star restaurant," always plays a lot better than, "can you pick me up at the bus station and can we eat at your place."

I'll give you "generally" plays a lot better, lol, but seriously, the *source* of the offer really is the deciding factor....I've picked up adorable men from BART, and turned down more "fly-ins" than I can count.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 247

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/15/2009 4:59:21 PM

VanIsleKnight

Posts: 283
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline

Er, question. What is BART?

_____________________________

Apologies for what you feel might be a spelling error. I'm Canadian.

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 248

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/15/2009 5:01:37 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Bay Area Rapid Transit. It's the train system in the greater San Francisco area.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to VanIsleKnight)

Post #: 249

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/15/2009 6:31:24 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

There are as many different types of femdoms as there are women. For as long as I can recall, I have wanted to be a self-made, successful business woman who would not rely on a man for money, but control the money. I'm married to a man that does not have a career, he works for me, he is a 'housewife', and I run my own business. I have always been the one making the money and he will not be taking over the role of breadwinner.

I associate money with power. I have always enjoyed being the woman who pays for things.
Akasha

I also associate money with power, and My house is My house, bought and paid for with My money. My pet is a housepet and his job is to take care of the house and all those that live in it. Being that I'm a single parent, he also takes care of them, even though they are not his.
I don't make a ton of money, but I make enough for the household.

I am not opposed to accepting gifts, and in a long term dynamic I might be able to accept more than a token trinket, the more serious the dynamic, the more ease I would feel.

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 250

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/15/2009 9:21:20 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

The position that money and material station don't play a large role in dating, especially so for men, -- is just pure idealism on your part. Anecdotal exceptions aside, your are missing the larger point -- which is understanding where people come from and why they have the reactions they have (malesubs on this thread.)

The "I've never had a problem" retort isn't exactly a rebuttal to the material world.

Not that your position is clear, but at first it looked like you were calling malesubs cheap and legitimizing the material expectations from them --- while now you shift gears citing your own experiences wherein people mostly care about each other and don't expect $$ from you in the dating, social scene.

From where I'm sitting, it just looks like you want to impeach malesubs to impress the ladies -- as opposed enunciating a logical position that stands on its own.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 251

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/15/2009 9:26:39 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I also associate money with power,

Can't we just say that money is power? This is not exactly an association.

Lack of money is both disempowering and humiliating.

As a general rule, poor people don't lead empowered lives.

(in reply to PsyVamp)

Post #: 252

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/15/2009 9:33:50 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

My position is that if you want to spend time with someone, you have to do what is necessary to spend time with that person. I consider that pragmatic, and rational, not "logical." It's not as though I'm arguing from a lawbook or an axiom system.

Multiple female posters on this thread have said that personality and decency matter more to them than money. Multiple women in real life have told me the same thing, through both words and actions -- both in my personal dating history, and in how women I have seen have treated others.

That said, being willing to pay for things, even little things, goes a long way toward demonstrating that you don't just treat the world as something you can wring every cent out of. It is not a contradiction to be generous and chivalrous on one hand, and expect reciprocation from a woman on the other.

Also, I don't advise knocking male submissives as a way to get into the good graces of female dominants. I've dated more than one femdom, and that's never a "tactic" I've used, nor one I've seen work for any other man. It's just as lame as telling a female sub, "I'm not like all those other doms."

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 253

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/15/2009 9:43:45 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

I also associate money with power,

Can't we just say that money is power? This is not exactly an association.

Lack of money is both disempowering and humiliating.

As a general rule, poor people don't lead empowered lives.

This is probably true in many cases, yet having a lot of money won't necessarily get you what you want if you're a creep. An attorney I know - one of the nicest people I've ever met - has a sign in his office: Money makes you more of who you are.

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 254

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/15/2009 10:21:10 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

I can agree with all that.

quote:

This is probably true in many cases, yet having a lot of money won't necessarily get you what you want if you're a creep. An attorney I know - one of the nicest people I've ever met - has a sign in his office: Money makes you more of who you are. Venatrix

Power does not translate into results or effectiveness. Its always helpful, though, to have resources and sympathy and understanding for those who don't.

Good luck out there, and may your adventures feature a few less creeps.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 255

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/15/2009 10:40:20 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

oh Myyyyyyyyyy ....... what a brouhaha I started on the boards! Tempest in a teapot, & all that.......

I'm actually secretly thrilled to learn that I'm a greedy, judgemental, tactless golddigger. >>>>shivverrr!<<<< mmm, delicious!>>>>rubs her hands together in excited anticipation of yet another lot of booty!<<<<<<< where is that manthing, anyway?

I always kind of admired that type, in a funny sort of way.

You know, that girl on the cheerleading squad who dated the Quarterback for all the things he could do for her, not because she had any real respect for him......the same girl who flamed him in the hallway with her friends and ridiculed him every time she talked about him to those select few she deigned to admit to her 'special' clique.....yes, something in Me has always sort of made Me shake My head in wonder, not only at her, the scurrulous, crafty, shallow little golddigger, but at the guy who selects her for his prize, as well.

Goodness knows I've run across My share of them as I made My way through life. Classmates, business associates, an occasional female boss, more than a few bosses' wives, politicians and politicians' wives, you name it, the golddigger has been among them!

It's pretty funny to find Myself cast in that light after all this time!

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

........... Part of the very REASON s-types get with FemDommes is because they hold sexual power over us. And if you don't think that's the case you're not being honest with yourself.

The gifts MsTM describes ain't why she has her boy.

It ain't why she loves her manthing.

Those gifts as MsKitty has described it to me, are reminders of HOW MUCH he is committed to her, how much he wants to make her day, how much he wants to care for and take care of her.

Any man buying any woman a gift will illicit a reaction. That reaction is an emphasis of that woman's feelings for that man. Example: creepy guy gives girl flowers..girl gets mad cuz guy is creepy, MsTM's manthing buys her stuff she likes, she gets revved up cuz here's her boy doing things for her that she enjoys......

BoiJen,

Thank you. I couldn't have explained it better if I'd tried!

TM

~~~ and Manthing? I am STILL ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY OVERWHELMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TM

>>> exits left, singing ...............

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 8/15/2009 10:41:45 PM >

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 256

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/16/2009 4:59:32 AM

Arillis

Posts: 75
Joined: 10/28/2008
Status: offline

Your Masters Degrees and PhD’s are irrelevant, we have people wondering the streets of every major city in the world with MBA’s, Jurist Doctorates, Md.’s and the world is so over flooded with persons with an alphabet behind their names that Masters Degrees are common place and measure much like the backyard mechanic. The reality is, you are chronic complainers and low level acheivers that would not know the opportunity to bring to fruition your dreams, hopes and desires…if it smacked you in the head and in responding I have given both of you more of my time then you qualify for. Case closed.

< Message edited by Arillis -- 8/16/2009 5:11:31 AM >

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 257

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/16/2009 5:29:50 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

There's a big difference between complaining about the world in general, and telling someone, "You are beneath me and not worthy of my time." The first is an expression of someone who is frustrated. The second is an expression of someone who is small. You sound far unhappier to me than any woman who has posted on this thread. You brag on the internet about your money and your honesty, but you come across as bitter, tired and alone.

I am sorry your partner died of cancer, but, seriously, take it out on someone else.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Arillis)

Post #: 258

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/16/2009 6:18:32 AM

scarlethiney

Posts: 492
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I had a relationship with a man who actually saw me... I had many gifts in life and had given many myself and many were valuable. So when he said... I have something for you, you will love it... for a moment I panicked! Inside I groaned... no... not a ring...(it was about that time in our relationship, for commitments and such).

Into the room he entered again, huge... smiling big, with a stack of packages of notebook paper and a huge handful of pens. I melted! I laughed! He had seen what was most important to me outside of people and that was my writing. We didn't have computers back then. I was supporting my sister's family and was broke. He came over one day and found me writing on paper bags and on my last pen.

He saw what was in my heart and he gave me what would most please me. I call that the greatest gift, besides a person... that anyone ever gave me. He gave me what was in my heart, from his heart.

This absolutely brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful gesture and how very personal.

_____________________________

"The words 'I am...' are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you're claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you." - A.L. Kitselman.

see my profile masterkspet

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 259

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/16/2009 6:26:21 AM

Arillis

Posts: 75
Joined: 10/28/2008
Status: offline

Your opinion much like your source of information is without merit and by its very nature warrants no further comment.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 260

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