RE: The source of WIITWD?

RE: The source of WIITWD? (Full Version)

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leadership527 -> RE: The source of WIITWD? (8/14/2009 3:49:26 PM)
quote: I was actually going to go further and develop this, and ask further that assuming (God forbid this ever happens to anyone) that adversity strikes and say, you lose your job, home, income, how would that affect your relationships and your involvement in WIITWD? That's a tough one Stella. Enough adversity would definitely change things. Put enough pressure on our marriage and even things like divorce are possible. But you'd be talking about some truly catastrophic levels of pressure there. In more normal situations... like say.... one of us losing our job, we coast through pretty much unaffected. Insofar as what might affect my desire to be Carol's master, I don't really know nor do I care. I have not made a lifelong commitment to this. I can't envision anything off the top of my head that'd likely change things between Carol & I. But stuff happens, you know?

AlexandraLynch -> RE: The source of WIITWD? (8/14/2009 4:56:02 PM)
In my primary relationships, it's not about the tools. My husband and I have been together for nearly twenty years, and have weathered a whole lot of shit including a traumatic brain injury, poverty, et cetera, and it's not broken us up. With our Kitten, while I can see a situation in which we could not be in relationship, it would have to do with standards of being healthy for me and healthy for my husband to be in that particular relationship, and I don't foresee that being an issue at all any time soon. If we tell her to call the doctor and make an appointment, she will do so. We offer to go with her for moral support, but going or not going is not up for debate. That right there is our kink, and it works for us. And we can do that anywhere at any time, and we are all happy with it. Some of my secondary relationships might miss the whips and floggers, but fundamentally we're still friends, and it's amazing what I can do with waist-length hair, nails, teeth, skin, and words. (grin)

allthatjaz -> RE: The source of WIITWD? (8/15/2009 1:45:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stella41b I'd like to thank everybody for their responses... But also here draw a little attention to what LadyPact pointed out, that perhaps without some of these trappings some of us may not have met each other. But then again I would have to ask you here LadyPact that had you and clip had been aware and in the same place, would you still have got to know each other? I was actually going to go further and develop this, and ask further that assuming (God forbid this ever happens to anyone) that adversity strikes and say, you lose your job, home, income, how would that affect your relationships and your involvement in WIITWD? I'm fairly sure that you will all in some way say that it wouldn't change much.. (I may be wrong) but this brings me to asking a further question, in that is the actual source of WIITWD what lies in us as a person (for example as Prinsexx points out, our libido) or does it come more from our awareness of what lies inside us and what lies inside each other? A little while back (Steve and me were working together) our joint employment contract came to an end. Just as it ended we had an accident with the boat and it sunk. The costs of salvage and repair (believe me the insurance is a pain in the ass) was huge and used up the money we thought we would have until we had both secured work. Basically we were wiped out and at one point we were down to zilch. We lived on chicken soup and bread for weeks. We are just picking ourselves back up now but we are still very much running on a tight budget. It has brought us closer. We went through this together and neither of us went to pieces, got depressed or had fights. We figured two heads were better than one to get through those tricky times and we very much worked as a team. As far as toys and equipment are concerned, you can take the lot. I have had dungeons full of the stuff and the stuff was used well for its purpose but when I look at all that stuff now it just seems a bit false, just like the BDSM pictures of women dressed in latex or girls strung up to properly made BDSM cross. I much prefer to see a maiden in a pretty dress gagged and blindfolded with a scarf.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: The source of WIITWD? (8/15/2009 5:23:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stella41b This has been partly inspired by two threads 'If the tables were turned' by allthatjaz here and CallaFirestormBW's 'Humanity? Responsibility?' thread over in Politics and Religion. Now let's assume that everything is reduced to zero - that there is no equipment, no 'fetish' clothing, no floggers, no whips, no ropes, no restraints, no St Andrews Crosses, nothing, nada, just you the person in fact just human beings. What effect would that have on your relationships? Would you still be able to remain a part of WIITWD and include it as a part of your lifestyle? Would you be able to still maintain a successful relationship involving a dynamic or WIITWD? Unequivocally, I can say "Yes, my life would still embrace the dynamic, were we stripped down to naked apes" and it -has- sustained the dynamic, even when, to all outward appearances, I was living a completely mainstream existence. Dame Calla

Prinsexx -> RE: The source of WIITWD? (8/15/2009 5:27:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz As far as toys and equipment are concerned, you can take the lot. I have had dungeons full of the stuff and the stuff was used well for its purpose but when I look at all that stuff now it just seems a bit false, just like the BDSM pictures of women dressed in latex or girls strung up to properly made BDSM cross. I much prefer to see a maiden in a pretty dress gagged and blindfolded with a scarf. Some of the unhappiest people I have known have been the wealthiest. I have witnessed too many deaths recently for comfort and although it's a truism: you can't take it with you. All things will pass even beauty. That connection when one looks into another's eyes simply cannot be bought.

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