'Beconing' a switch

'Beconing' a switch (Full Version)

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Prinsexx -> 'Beconing' a switch (8/13/2009 5:28:14 PM)
During the last ywo years I have seen 'off' four relationships. It was time to take stock. All four relationships were with dominant males. All four I released myself from. In one particular case I still miss him very dearly but family circumstnces and age differences, created a situation that made it impossible to evolve our relationship beyond it being perfect physical play. We both knew that he could not provide any emotional component. But it was deeper than that. I have always been submissive. I have always needed to serve. To serve lovers, husbands, family. The position of slave fitted those combinations as near as I could describe myself. BUT and it has been an increasingly larger but...I have always been able to switch when required and when asked to by my dominant. I have found it natural to me to switch with women as I have felt myself to be an Alpha female. I'm skilful and loving...prefferring what I have felt to be the more complex reactions and needs of women submissive to me. Foregive me please any malke submissives reading this. But I just found male submissives to be too fixated on singular turn-ons, fetishes or indeed the need to be punished (for some as yet unforseen misdemeanor). I know this is not so: just my experience of them. However I have had two relationships with those I refer to as my 'beloveds'... complax and intelligent men who are switches. Being a switch with a switch man was like having four people in a relationship. When two people are in a relationship and both submissive nothing seems to get done and no iniatives seem to get taken. When both in dominant mode there seemed to be a battle of wills. I persoally don't know how dom/dom couples figure it out. Who was in which mode at times could sometimes be a matter of negotiation. But for me when I was satiated in my submission my dominant streak would surface. My dominant streak will now not be silenced. And it feels freeing to me to be able to allow myself the luxury of both sets of fantasies and plans in my head and a future ahead of me to explore my dominant side. I see it as evolution. Sorry if this was a long post to get to my question: who has changed here from sub to dom? who has changed here from being dominant to being submissive? are there switches reading this who identify with what I am saying?

leadership527 -> RE: 'Beconing' a switch (8/13/2009 5:38:57 PM)
I personally feel like everyone is a switch... that is to say... has the potential for at least some amount of either D or s. Sheez, Carol is one of the most generally submissive women I know but she does just fine dom'ing me in limited situations.. notably areas where she's the expert. I'm generally pretty dominant, but I have no issues submitting when I know she's going to lead well. I value flexibility in myself and those around me.

Prinsexx -> RE: 'Beconing' a switch (8/13/2009 5:40:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 I personally feel like everyone is a switch... that is to say... has the potential for at least some amount of either D or s. Sheez, Carol is one of the most generally submissive women I know but she does just fine dom'ing me in limited situations.. notably areas where she's the expert. I'm generally pretty dominant, but I have no issues submitting when I know she's going to lead well. I value flexibility in myself and those around me. I like the concept kink = flexible

Andalusite -> RE: 'Beconing' a switch (8/13/2009 10:00:23 PM)
I started out as a Domme for 5 years, and bottomed in some of my subsequent relationships, but didn't feel submissive to anyone until about 4 years ago (first with a casual playpartner, then with my last Dominant who I was with for 3 years, then with my current Master). It was a bit of an evolution/transformation to discover that I could feel submissive, and I was very surprised the first time it happened. It's a bit the other way around from your journey, so I don't know how useful to you it is. I still identify as a switch, although I'm currently in a M/s relationship. He's open to me topping other people if I'm so inclined at some point, especially in a classroom/workshop environment, but we're focusing on each other now. [:D]

Prinsexx -> RE: 'Beconing' a switch (8/14/2009 12:22:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Andalusite I started out as a Domme for 5 years, and bottomed in some of my subsequent relationships, but didn't feel submissive to anyone until about 4 years ago (first with a casual playpartner, then with my last Dominant who I was with for 3 years, then with my current Master). It was a bit of an evolution/transformation to discover that I could feel submissive, and I was very surprised the first time it happened. It's a bit the other way around from your journey, so I don't know how useful to you it is. I still identify as a switch, although I'm currently in a M/s relationship. He's open to me topping other people if I'm so inclined at some point, especially in a classroom/workshop environment, but we're focusing on each other now. [:D] Yes it is useful. I know it looks like the other way round to me but I think the procees is similar in as much as my feelings evolved because of those two main relationships with my 'beloveds' as I call them: both guys who encouraged me to be non exclusive and evolve. It is a matter of focus I know but I was releasing myself from 'control' which I knew was not allowing that focus to take place. I also think it's am ageing thing for me or should I call it maturing.

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