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RE: Age? - 8/14/2009 3:15:20 PM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessImaginos

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue


quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Age is not the issue. Ability is.

lovingpet


Agreed.

Neither of which have anything to do with the use of the terms "dom" or "master".

But it was the phrase "recognised abilities" which caused me most mirth. Recognised by whom? And when? Are the WI holding testing sessions that *don't* relate to cakes?

I think we should be told. The truth will out


Are You kidding? There should be classes at the local YMCA involving judicious use of nautilus machines, but hey, maybe that's just Me..


I think I've just spotted a gap in the UK market!

I'm just popping off to register a trade-mark or two, won't be long

(in reply to GoddessImaginos)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Age? - 8/14/2009 3:19:21 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I have to kind of add, I have met the occasional younger dominant individual that was a great, quality human being and with whom there was at least some level of connection. I did not pursue a relationship or even a session in those instances (my dance card being occupied after all ).

Further, I have found that incredibly charismatic people can weave a web regardless of whether they are "good" or "healthy" or whatever. I had my share of bad rounds with these types and have learned my way clear of them.

So, no, a young dom is not out of the question for an older woman, but he'd better be much more than a cut above his/her peers. Further, I appreciate anyone's willingness and recognition of their need and desire to continue to learn and grow.

lovingpet

(in reply to TurboJugend)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Age? - 8/14/2009 3:52:26 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally
And maturity, and self awareness, and confidence, and self esteem etc etc

... and in my case, rugged good looks really helps a lot also. That, and I think you women are really attracted to my humility too.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Age? - 8/14/2009 3:55:36 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally
And maturity, and self awareness, and confidence, and self esteem etc etc

... and in my case, rugged good looks really helps a lot also. That, and I think you women are really attracted to my humility too.



I swear, you are making me snort way too much tonight

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Age? - 8/14/2009 3:56:45 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Personally, I'm happy to see young blood in the Dominant circle. Like anyone new to BDSM, it is the impression and openness that counts a lot with me. I think more highly of a new chum who is open and honest about lack of experience rather than some one who knows nothing but wants me to think he/she know it all.. I will go out of my way to help the former or at least introduce them to people who can help. With the latter, I simply become "invisible".. 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Age? - 8/14/2009 4:49:17 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		Well, I think both IronBear and DarkSteven have pretty much covered the bases where I’m concerned.  Age really has little to do with anything…a young person can be quite mature and an older person can be quite young at heart and very active.  Why wouldn’t that work; it’s worked for me.

When I came into this lifestyle, I was taken under-wing by a couple of very experienced Doms and their submissives.  I learned a lot about how the lifestyle works in real life…24/7.  I never learned about online roll-play.

Perhaps for this reason, when at a local Dungeon (and under watchful eyes of my friends), I met and casually played (no sex) with several Dominants.  I rather enjoy playing one of those crash-car dummies… LOL    Endorphins are endorphins…ya get hit in a good way, ya fly.  At least that’s what I think.  Of course, some do much better than others…but this is play. 

That said, sometimes a dominant just wasn’t….yanno?  Age has nothing to do with confidence (even at a new task), emotional strength, and knowing what one wants.  A natural Dominant will be dominant even in their teens…and an older woman will know it.  Of course, if they’re playing at it (and coloring outside the lines) she’ll know that in a heartbeat, too.  Still, even 20 years is no big deal for some folks. 

bearlee

_____________________________

Click here for GREAT discussion on living this real-time.

How to use Code on Collarme

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Age? - 8/14/2009 5:05:23 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee
I learned a lot about how the lifestyle works in real life…24/7. I never learned about online roll-play.

Perhaps for this reason, when at a local Dungeon (and under watchful eyes of my friends), I met and casually played (no sex) with several Dominants. I rather enjoy playing one of those crash-car dummies… LOL Endorphins are endorphins…ya get hit in a good way, ya fly. At least that’s what I think. Of course, some do much better than others…but this is play.



I fail to see how not doing what you call online role-play would mean that you played with people. I have had online based relationships and casually played


_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Age? - 8/14/2009 5:17:56 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally


quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee
I learned a lot about how the lifestyle works in real life…24/7. I never learned about online roll-play.

Perhaps for this reason, when at a local Dungeon (and under watchful eyes of my friends), I met and casually played (no sex) with several Dominants. I rather enjoy playing one of those crash-car dummies… LOL Endorphins are endorphins…ya get hit in a good way, ya fly. At least that’s what I think. Of course, some do much better than others…but this is play.



I fail to see how not doing what you call online role-play would mean that you played with people. I have had online based relationships and casually played



I am not sure I see the connection either. I don't think that skipping the online thing really matters one way or the other. I kind of "found" myself through online exposure. I learned a great deal about mindset and perspectives long before I ventured into anything face to face. It was a stepping stone and holds little interest for me now. It doesn't help with things like technique or getting my shy self to talk to someone new, but it certainly did help reinforce the desire and level of dominance and submission I had within me. I also got to work through some awesome scenes in words that I want to one day try in person with someone who trusts me enough to allow it (or as submissive, that I trust enough to have them do these things with me). It gave me an idea of things like what equipment I would like to use, how to build it up properly, the order I in which I might want to use the impliments, and even some mental idea of the setting I would want to create for the whole experience. I got to experience, in words anyway, how another person responded to my ideas and whether or not they appealed. Online can be an abyssmal black hole if one is not careful, but it does have its usefulness, at least early on.

lovingpet

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Age? - 8/14/2009 5:21:17 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I can see the connection. When I first became interested in BDSM (as different from Gorean Lifestyles), one of my mentors was a pro Domme in Canada who explained much but as she said, there is only so far you can go on line and nothing beats the real hands on experience as well as real life practical teaching and demonstrations. Just my personal view though no more, no less.. 

< Message edited by IronBear -- 8/14/2009 5:22:08 PM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Age? - 8/14/2009 5:24:45 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I agree IB. Online only has it's place, at least for those that have any inkling to move into real time. I have tried occasionally to go back on a particularly slow night, but it's doesn't do a thing for me anymore. As a matter of fact, I don't relate at all.

lovingpet

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Age? - 8/14/2009 5:33:08 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I can see the connection. When I first became interested in BDSM (as different from Gorean Lifestyles), one of my mentors was a pro Domme in Canada who explained much but as she said, there is only so far you can go on line and nothing beats the real hands on experience as well as real life practical teaching and demonstrations. Just my personal view though no more, no less..


It depends what you are after, as with all, I can't see how boycotting it totally will prevent you being able to transition into 'real life' I did it just fine. That was what I took issue with in that post


_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Age? - 8/16/2009 2:55:36 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

"I'm a new Dom to the lifestyle. tried being a sub but noone wanted me :( SO I decided to become a Dominant :D"

quote:

I'm a nice master...but if I'm in a bad mood I may have to take it out on you


oh boy....



_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to Raythedom18)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Age? - 8/16/2009 11:25:30 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee
I learned a lot about how the lifestyle works in real life…24/7. I never learned about online roll-play.

Perhaps for this reason, when at a local Dungeon (and under watchful eyes of my friends), I met and casually played (no sex) with several Dominants. I rather enjoy playing one of those crash-car dummies… LOL Endorphins are endorphins…ya get hit in a good way, ya fly. At least that’s what I think. Of course, some do much better than others…but this is play.


I fail to see how not doing what you call online role-play would mean that you played with people. I have had online based relationships and casually played


The topic here is about age differences and if they matter and my post was an attempt to discuss that.

As I said…I never learned about online roll-play, prefacing my experience as 'real-time'.  I discussed my joy of ‘play’ and what, if any, age had to do with it (in my experience) and said nothing more about what an online experience might entail. 

That you have decided to take umbrage with a comment I used to preface my experience as singularly face-to-face, and that had nothing to do with the conversation at hand, is beyond me.  My point was that my experience was real-time…and not online, where perhaps age (size, looks, demeanor, experience, etc) has little effect. 

If you enjoy playing online, good for you; I was not bashing it or you.    Quite frankly, I came up in this lifestyle not unlike lovingpet…and continue to meet people here.  I think the internet is a useful tool; I just see a difference in ‘online’ and ‘real-time’…and was trying to describe where it is I was coming from...with my response to wether or not age matters. 

bearlee

_____________________________

Click here for GREAT discussion on living this real-time.

How to use Code on Collarme

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Age? - 8/16/2009 11:47:37 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		Sorry Bear, I just didn't see the link, I didn't have an issue with what you were saying I just didn't really understand its use in this context. Thank you for clarifying.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Age? - 8/20/2009 8:57:51 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		In my college days, all the people I got kinky with were older than me. Rather than saying you're a dom, or a submissive, think of yourself as someone who wants to be kinky and freaky. Show confidence and maturity with an unexpected bad boy side. Have a good since of humor. It's important to make a woman laugh. In any conversation with these women, it's a good idea to make yourself appear as a challenge. "I'm a man that's ready to tame you. Do you think you're ready for me?" 


Present yourself as a Switch or one who would like to learn from somebody who Tops From the Bottom. Your profile says "I was a sub but nobody wanted me so now I'm a dom."

I suggest that you find a switch and get comfortable with her. Let the dom or sub role come naturaly as you explore.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Raythedom18)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Age? - 8/20/2009 9:58:12 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VvShadowspawnvV
It's not about just finding anyone who will sleep with you.


You sure? I seem to remember that being a major theme in college, that and people puking in the elevators.

(in reply to VvShadowspawnvV)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Age? - 8/20/2009 10:29:14 PM   
LordDarkPleasure


Posts: 91
Joined: 4/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Raythedom18

HI CM I was wondering as a young Master Would Age matter?

Like if an 18 year old Master were to take a 24-35 year old slave as their property,would this be wrong?



Women usually want someone who's on average 2 years older than them, and the tendency goes towards wanting someone even older when  its a sub looking for a Dom.  The reality is that a Dom below 25 years old will be filtered out by 90% of women's profiles.  If on top of that you are are below 5'3'', you're pretty much fucked.  Very few women will even SEE your profile.

The subs I got when I was below 25 years old were actually vanillas that I kinkified.  I got quite good at that over the years :)

(in reply to Raythedom18)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Age? - 8/24/2009 2:27:27 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Raythedom18

HI CM I was wondering as a young Master Would Age matter?

Like if an 18 year old Master were to take a 24-35 year old slave as their property,would this be wrong?



If the 18 year old was able to meet the needs of the sub in question, of course it would be fine. Now is it realistic that it could happen? probably not

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to Raythedom18)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Age? - 8/24/2009 2:50:12 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		One of the things some of us seem to forget or refuse to recognise is that age does not equate to inexperience nor maturity in some cases. Face it there are young folk 18+ and certainly in their early 20's who are in charge of millions of dollars worth of machines which needs someone with a jolly good education, dedication and ability to make snap decisions with the cost of both lives and machinery riding on them making the right or at least the best decision based in the intel to hand. You'll find them in the military with some of them flying state of the air aircraft. To this I must add that some of these "kids" are also in command of men older and even more experienced than they are. from experience, whilst I was a highly trained (by two armies) SF Officer, when I arrived in 'Nam I was just as green as the next poor slob from some factory who was an enlisted man. I bless the fates who had me under the watchful eye of a couple of Master Sgts, who trained me in my trade and kept this young bloke alive and learning. That I lived, was promoted way beyond what I could have dreamed of and became successful at what I did is down to those Master Sgts. Now I am not backwards in slamming the aggressiveness and in your face confrontational attitude youth generally appears to have developed, I also know that time and life will knock the abrasive edges off many of them and allow the diamonds to shine through ready for final cutting and polishing. My thoughts are, give them a fair go. Ignore the youthful attitude and watch, listen and guide. Sometimes there are those who are unable for what ever reason (mostly I feel due to an overdose of testosterone and bad manners) they are unable to articulate their need for help. recognise that this may be the problem and either walk away or try to guide them and their thinking along safe practices towards a productive end.  

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Age? - 8/24/2009 9:35:50 PM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		as long as your mother approves its ok

(in reply to Raythedom18)
Profile   Post #: 40
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