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Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek?


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[Poll]

Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek?


A Full Relationship (Vanilla\BDSM Mix)
  31% (5)
A Play Partner
  0% (0)
Adding Additional Partner (Poly)
  18% (3)
Seeking Service Oriented Sub/Slave Only
  6% (1)
Money
  0% (0)
Seeking Subjects to Practice and Develop Skills
  6% (1)
Opportunity to Learn about this Lifestyle
  6% (1)
Sincerely Curious and Looking
  0% (0)
Just Here to Have Fun
  31% (5)


Total Votes : 16
(last vote on : 5/23/2010 7:40:14 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/14/2009 3:43:44 PM   
anthrosub


Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline 		I've been a member now for roughly 5 years. I have communicated with many members and met several in person. In that time, I have met women who without question are genuine and in their own special way, represent some of the many facets of how a woman can express her power. I have also met my share of those who...to be kind...were questionable in one way or another or obviously had no idea what they were doing.

I read the new profiles here each day and keep an eye on some of the profiles that have caught my attention as well. There are many profiles here where I feel there is more than enough potential for a partnership but for some singular condition or other hurdle in the way. It can be very frustrating if one is sincerely looking as I am. Enough time passes and you begin to feel your life slipping by it seems.

There are some profiles that read quite well...until you reach some condition laid down that makes you wonder if the person has really been looking long enough to appreciate how that condition which seems so important may in fact be the biggest detriment to ever finding a partner. It has made me wonder what are the priorities Dominant females have set up for themselves and what are they here for. So I have created this poll with the hope of finding out to some extent why you are here and what is your priority. Please feel free to comment specifically or generally as it pleases you.

I realize this poll depends on respondents being honest and is subject to who will take the time to participate but hopefully it will develop over time to show some trends. A good discussion on the subject may also start up as well.

Thank you in advance.

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/14/2009 5:49:06 PM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		Initial reply, more may follow

The choose-only-one-answer thing didn't really encompass my answers, so I picked just here to have fun . . ... . .

& note, please, that one person's limiting consideration is likely to be another person's necessary pre-condition . . . . . .

& while it would be nice to find a soul mate, a life partner, I just get on with my life to the best of my abilities; whatever may be will happen as I go thru my day-to-day . . . . .

I think one of the pertinent questions about this somewhat quixotic quest for the sexual / romantic / BDSM other is, 'what am I willing to do / go- / get-thru to find / be with that person?'

I'm pretty sure for me liberal doses of patience are called for . ... & lots of persistence . . ... . On the other hand, plenty have testified to the power of just giving up & then finding the 'one' at some point after . . ... .

Mostly no one likes hearing this, tho' .. . ..

_____________________________

Snarko ergo sum.



The Verbossinator

(in reply to anthrosub)
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RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/14/2009 6:38:24 PM   
anthrosub


Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

Initial reply, more may follow

The choose-only-one-answer thing didn't really encompass my answers, so I picked just here to have fun . . ... . .

& note, please, that one person's limiting consideration is likely to be another person's necessary pre-condition . . . . . .

& while it would be nice to find a soul mate, a life partner, I just get on with my life to the best of my abilities; whatever may be will happen as I go thru my day-to-day . . . . .

I think one of the pertinent questions about this somewhat quixotic quest for the sexual / romantic / BDSM other is, 'what am I willing to do / go- / get-thru to find / be with that person?'

I'm pretty sure for me liberal doses of patience are called for . ... & lots of persistence . . ... . On the other hand, plenty have testified to the power of just giving up & then finding the 'one' at some point after . . ... .

Mostly no one likes hearing this, tho' .. . ..


I limited it to one answer in hopes that any responses would be the most important (or for those who have several equal reasons...which one if you had to choose?). Multiple choice would only make it blurrier than it will already be. I admit it would take a lot of replies before anything resembling a pattern would emerge. I did a survey on a unique subject for my college thesis so I know how these polls can be.

The quiotic question you wrote is one I find myself thinking when reading some of the profiles here. There are some very serious profiles on CM where the person has put a lot of effort into describing what they are seeking...something quite unique, kinky, and romantic, yet tasteful with a touch of class. Then they turn around and say something like, "You must live within a 30 minute drive." I think to myself, "What if there isn't anyone within a 30 minute drive...is this person going remain alone for the rest of her life?" I mean really!

And I think you're right...I have also heard quite often about people finding each other when they weren't looking.

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to DemonKia)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/14/2009 6:39:44 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		My guess is that female "dominants" seek fewer quote marks around descriptions of their roles.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to anthrosub)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/14/2009 6:40:03 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		All I know is a few Dommes here want to meet the Bear so they can smack him around ! 

_____________________________

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Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to DemonKia)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/14/2009 6:51:47 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		The thread was not receiving new replies earlier when I made My vote, so here is the explanation for My answer.


Since I believe you were looking for only one answer, as opposed to multiple ones, I listed adding an additional partner (poly).

Now, that's not to say that some of the other answers couldn't have applied to Me as well. While I feel I've got a pretty good grip as far as My information on the lifestyle, there's always more to learn. I consider Myself a fairly accomplished top, but the same applies. Sure, the site could definitely apply to Me for finding play partners even though I do a decent job of finding them on My own. Of course, I'm also here to have fun. Many of the threads here are far funnier and more interesting than at least 90% of what's on television.

I already have a life partner. He happens to be Dominant like Myself. I also already have a collared sub. Anybody else that I would happen to find would be in addition, so I felt that was the option that applied most.

As for the conditions that might be considered hurdles, I think you might have to expand a bit on your thoughts. I don't tend to see personal preferences as hurdles. I'm very well aware of what I want in a D/s dynamic and I'm very well aware of what I don't want as well.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/14/2009 9:54:35 PM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		FR, after further read thru

Specifically here, on CM / CollarChat, I'm mostly just here for the 'kink separatist' experience . . . . . To have a place in my life to not have to suppress references to butt sex or kink stuff or whatever . . . .. To hang out with somewhat like-minded others . .. . . . Making friends & getting to know people of all kinds of persuasions, most of whom are not potential partners, being exposed to a variety of ways of being . . . . . When I was a kid I wanted pen pals, & now I've got tons, kinky pen pals, from all over the globe . . . .

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/14/2009 10:32:46 PM   
Ambyant


Posts: 194
Joined: 4/22/2008
From: California Girl
Status: offline 		I read the OP, and had to reply in regards to the survey itself.
Definitely need more options, such as a  1-10 listing the most impreitive to next reason etc.
And a space to write in 'Other', just in case, and it's always good for discussion.. the 'Other', I mean.
That and now I'm wondering who I can bounce My profile off, to be more certain I am aiming for what I really really want.
Always the best Diva~Zya




_____________________________

~ If a little knowledge is dangerous, I'm a very dangerous Girl ~


Diva Zya had to start all over again
damn password changes!


(in reply to anthrosub)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/14/2009 10:37:57 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Fast Reply -

I am here mostly for the Forums and networking, learning new information, finding out about upcoming events, etc.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Ambyant)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/15/2009 8:29:30 AM   
anthrosub


Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ambyant

I read the OP, and had to reply in regards to the survey itself.
Definitely need more options, such as a  1-10 listing the most impreitive to next reason etc.
And a space to write in 'Other', just in case, and it's always good for discussion.. the 'Other', I mean.
That and now I'm wondering who I can bounce My profile off, to be more certain I am aiming for what I really really want.
Always the best Diva~Zya





I'm not sure if the Poll form allows for "Other" but I had the same thoughts when I was putting the list together. Other would have mades things a lot more flexible I suppose. I know the list is not perfect and at some point you have to draw a line else you end up with endless sub categories. Hopefully people will choose whatever is closest to their reasons and add a post to elaborate. Thank you for your feedback.

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to Ambyant)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/15/2009 8:33:07 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

My guess is that female "dominants" seek fewer quote marks around descriptions of their roles.


Again my friends save me keystrokes!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/15/2009 8:48:15 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		My primary goal is to find the full relationship, but a few of the others apply as well.  I do seek subjects to practice and develop skills.  However, I am fairly active in the local community and it isn't terribly difficult to find that.  The opportunity to learn more about the lifestyle also applies.  I do that in many ways, including reading the forums here and on other sites.  And yes, I do like to have fun, including within the realm of BDSM.

< Message edited by MysticFireTopaz -- 8/15/2009 9:04:20 AM >

(in reply to anthrosub)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/15/2009 9:03:32 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Just because a person didn't do it for you doesn't mean she won't do it for someone else.
Just because she's inexperienced doesn't mean she isn't dominant.

Why did you put the word dominant in quotes? Makes it appear as though you don't believe any woman could make you submit to them and that you're challenging someone to do so by force. If so, no one will. Your submission isn't going to be so spectacular that they have to go to the effort of trying to make you do something you claim to not want to do, especially when there are lots of men who are more than willing to do so.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/15/2009 11:37:01 AM   
anthrosub


Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline 		Since three people have taken exception to having the word "dominant" placed in quotes, I will demonstrate the use of punctuation in the english language with this sentence.

Does that help? You are reading too much into it I'm afraid. Placing a word in quotes as I have done is a way to highlight it, indicate it can have many connotations, or that it may or may not fully apply (which the word clearly does here on Collarme). There are people who can honestly claim the title and many who cannot for a variety of reasons. Given the nature of this poll, I think it's appropriate but I will apologize to those who take offense.

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/15/2009 11:57:12 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anthrosub

Since three people have taken exception to having the word "dominant" placed in quotes, I will demonstrate the use of punctuation in the english language with this sentence.

You would come off a little less snotty if you capitalized the "E" in "English."  As it is, I don't know what use of punctuation you are demonstrating, since your ability to type accurately is in question.

I understand that you are frustrated by your inability to find the person you are looking for.  However, acting like Captain Grammar won't win you the heart of fair lady, especially when it's not your strong suit.

Might I suggest you read as many Ask A Mistress threads as you can, to get a sense of what CollarMe femdoms are looking for?  And, to meet potential relationship partners, you might consider spreading out, like munches, and Match.com.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to anthrosub)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/15/2009 12:01:31 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		If you want to highlight a word, how about bolding it, using the italics function, or choosing another colour? 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/15/2009 12:02:27 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Well said, "Lady" Hibiscus.

.... ruh roh


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/15/2009 12:03:56 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		Red...if i were you i would run before she reads that 

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/15/2009 12:07:30 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I could snap you like a TWIG little mister! And you would LOVE it! 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Female "Dominants" - What Do You Seek? - 8/15/2009 12:08:42 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		"Ow."

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 20
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