|
inyouagain -> How to take a shower - by gender (3/14/2004 2:07:32 AM)
|
quote:
HOW TO TAKE A SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in mirror--make a mental note--must do more sit-ups.
4 Get in the shower. Use facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah,wide loofah, pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair once again to be sure it is clean.
7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair. Make sure all of it is off.
11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving your bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
12. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.
13. Turn off shower.
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
15. Get out of shower and dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap the hair in a superabsorbent second towel.
16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Tweeze hairs.
17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
18. If you see husband on the way, cover up any exposed areas then sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.
quote:
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
1. Take clothes off while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile on the floor.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake weiner at her and make the " woo-woo" sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck your gut in to see if you have any pecs (no). Admire the size of your weiner and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Don't look for a washcloth, you don't need one.
6. Wash your face.
7. Wash your armpits.
8. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.
9. Crack up at how loud your farts sound in the shower.
10. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.
11. Wash your butt leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap.
12. Shampoo your hair with the hand soap, don't use conditioner.
13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
14. Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror.
15. Pee in the shower.
16. Rinse off in the shower and get out. Fail to notice the water on the floor because you left the shower curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
17. Partially dry off.
18. Look in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire weiner size again.
19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor.
20. Leave bathroom light and fan on.
21. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake your weiner at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
22. Throw the wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed
Inyouagain
|
|
|
|
