RE: Being an emotional masochist: how does that work?

RE: Being an emotional masochist: how does that work? (Full Version)

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cpK69 -> RE: Being an emotional masochist: how does that work? (8/16/2009 6:40:28 PM)
I’ve wondered how someone trying to humiliate me in a D/s dynamic context would work out, since my perspective is, verbal abuse (past childhood), results from the perspective of the ‘abused’; i.e. ego. quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Question: how did/how does emotional masochism work for you? I’m not sure how to answer the question the way it is worded, but I can tell you, for me, it is about humility. Sort of a training technique for solidifying the whole “please, grant me the courage to change the things I can, the strength to accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference”, saying. Kim

Prinsexx -> RE: Being an emotional masochist: how does that work? (8/17/2009 2:40:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cpK69 I’ve wondered how someone trying to humiliate me in a D/s dynamic context would work out, since my perspective is, verbal abuse (past childhood), results from the perspective of the ‘abused’; i.e. ego. quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Question: how did/how does emotional masochism work for you? I’m not sure how to answer the question the way it is worded, but I can tell you, for me, it is about humility. Sort of a training technique for solidifying the whole “please, grant me the courage to change the things I can, the strength to accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference”, saying. Kim There is no definitive answer to the question. There are no definitive answers to any questions about bdsm in my opinion. We call iy a string of things (bdsm) but really it's about relationships. There's no deeper degree of difference between people than the emotions they feel: more words, more literature, more poetry, film and psycho babble about the emotions than anything else. Yet no one had ever touched an emotion least of all managed to isolate where they are in te body. Such arrays of emotion: emotional states have a very complex chemidtry we can akk be sure about that. I wrote the question as it had been asked of me: how does it work for me? It worked for as long as it wrked. And now emotional masochism doesn't work for me any more. Hell no. ne hint of an insecurity, humiliation, pur-down etc and I block and delete and have irradicated phone numbers and contacts so that I am never tempted to f there again. But I learned the most from where I was to where I am. It was a journey definitely worth taking. I'm coming 'out' as a switch. Truly aware of how I have been able to be 'sadistic' in a light sense. Often bitingly ironic, sarcastic at best witty in my everyday life, I can use a line to end a cvonversation and cut people dead. I simply want to be certain that I am not going to do damage, reach damage or create damage in anypne in the way I deemed it having been done to me. Thus: yes it will be about my humility within my strength when I turn the tables.

cpK69 -> RE: Being an emotional masochist: how does that work? (8/17/2009 5:59:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx There is no definitive answer to the question. There are no definitive answers to any questions about bdsm in my opinion. I wasn’t sure my answer would make sense, not whether it was ‘right’. I was only refering to what it was about for me. [:D] quote: We call iy a string of things (bdsm) but really it's about relationships. I’ve noted a strong connection with intimacy, even when there is no physical sex involved. quote: There's no deeper degree of difference between people than the emotions they feel: more words, more literature, more poetry, film and psycho babble about the emotions than anything else. I was thinking the difference was in individual perspective, situations, and value systems. quote: It worked for as long as it wrked. And now emotional masochism doesn't work for me any more. I suspect being beneficial is dependent on one’s goal. My primary goal is to seek truth. My understanding is, truth lies in the dark places. So, ‘going there’ is something I have to do. How I choose to do it makes all the difference. quote: I'm coming 'out' as a switch. Truly aware of how I have been able to be 'sadistic' in a light sense. Often bitingly ironic, sarcastic at best witty in my everyday life, I can use a line to end a cvonversation and cut people dead. I’ve wondered about my own ability to play ‘cut throat’. To some degree, I do enjoy it, but only in a playful context; and I know I have to be selective in those cases. (Something about the expression on their face when they realize they just walked right into a trap, tickles me. Watching them squirm in it; hysterical.) However, I tend to refrain, unless they ‘beg’ for it; since, as a general rule, I play to win. Handing someone back their throat, with a huge grin on my face, and a hearty “you're velcome” is rarely considered socially acceptable. giggles To the best of my knowledge, my perspective is from a submissive standpoint; it makes it hard for me to understand how a Dom or switch personality would acquire the sense of humility. Can you give an example? Kim

Prinsexx -> RE: Being an emotional masochist: how does that work? (8/17/2009 6:21:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cpK69 To the best of my knowledge, my perspective is from a submissive standpoint; it makes it hard for me to understand how a Dom or switch personality would acquire the sense of humility. Can you give an example? Kim Well this is a bit of a crossed thread. The thread I started 'on becoming a switch' seems to have gotten buried. Emotionally I guess it's revnge time...... hope that doesn't sound wrong. I knew I was switching when I started having fantasies about doing what had been done to me back to him (my ex.) We talked about it but he hadn't been sub for many years although he started out as submissive (as a slave to a couple actually). It's a role for me...being dominant to men. Far more of an 'act' than being a submissive...which is closer to my core. Which was my core for many years. Being dominant to men is 'palyback time',. ... balm, role distance for the depth to which I allow myself to go as a submissive. It's a very complex sitation having two switches together in a relationship. Some might say not purist. But I find it so much more explorative and have been afraid of it for many years. The responsibility of being dominant. For me though this will be in the contaxt of a relationship first and foremeost and not play. I have a feeling that my slave -like qualities will be taken care of in simply being a traditional woman in service in the home: cooking, cleaning, taking care of. And being a snarky bitch in the bedroom. emotionally I could cut someone to their core. Yep.....oh yes indeed. Only real men need apply. (smiles sweetly).

cpK69 -> RE: Being an emotional masochist: how does that work? (8/17/2009 11:51:55 AM)
Thank you, for your response, Prinsexx. Sorry about jumping track, things tend to blur into one big ball of relevance for me; makes it difficult sometimes for me to know where to draw the line. I wouldn’t say wrong; and I think I understand.[:)] My best, Kim

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