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MEN...doh... - 8/17/2009 1:00:05 PM   
docileindiapers


Posts: 18
Joined: 4/10/2008
Status: offline 		A couple is lying
in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make
you the happiest woman in the world..'
The woman replies,
'I'll miss you........
----------------------------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,'
Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the
neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
-------------------------------------------
Q: What do you
call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be
men.
--------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you
call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy..
---------------------------------------------
Q: What does it
mean when a man is in your bed gasping
for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
------------------------------------------
Q: Why do men whistle when they
are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe..
-------------------------------------------
Q: How do you
keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the
email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: MEN...doh... - 8/17/2009 2:12:17 PM   
lameduck13


Posts: 64
Joined: 4/5/2008
Status: offline 		rofl my girl will enjoy these.

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Profile   Post #: 2
RE: MEN...doh... - 8/17/2009 5:51:46 PM   
NewMaster79


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/29/2009
Status: offline 		Hahaha! Awesome!

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Profile   Post #: 3
RE: MEN...doh... - 8/17/2009 6:02:50 PM   
rikigrl


Posts: 203
Joined: 5/14/2009
Status: offline 		Q: What should you do if you find your husband laying on the lawn, screaming your name, with six bullet holes in him?
A: reload

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Profile   Post #: 4
RE: MEN...doh... - 8/17/2009 6:15:21 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		Slight edit:

quote:

Q: What should you do if you find your wife laying on the lawn, screaming your name, with six bullet holes in her?
A: reload


Still funny?

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it's never enough to keep up.

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RE: MEN...doh... - 8/17/2009 8:18:07 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Slight Edit

quote:

Q: What should you do if you find your wife/husband/*****/neighbor/boss/monkey/circus freak laying on the lawn, screaming your name, with six bullet holes in him/her?
A: reload


Yeah no matter how you phrase this I don't find it funny.

Steel

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RE: MEN...doh... - 8/18/2009 3:12:56 AM   
rikigrl


Posts: 203
Joined: 5/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

Slight Edit

quote:

Q: What should you do if you find your wife/husband/*****/neighbor/boss/monkey/circus freak laying on the lawn, screaming your name, with six bullet holes in him/her?
A: reload



Yeah no matter how you phrase this I don't find it funny.

Steel


ohhhh geeeeze

"Take my wife...please" was a famous one-liner from Rodney Dangerfield that drew much laughter but i s'pose there were many who sat with arms crossed mumbling "no matter how you phrase it i don't find it funny". Such a pity.

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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: MEN...doh... - 8/18/2009 6:20:26 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Didn't find that funny either.

I'm not saying that someone won't, just that I don't. No matter how you say it I just don't find it funny.

Sorry.

I was responding to dcnovice, cause he asked if it was still funny after changing gender and I pointed out it just wasn't a funny joke.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

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Profile   Post #: 8
RE: MEN...doh... - 8/18/2009 7:04:42 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rikigrl

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

Slight Edit

quote:

Q: What should you do if you find your wife/husband/*****/neighbor/boss/monkey/circus freak laying on the lawn, screaming your name, with six bullet holes in him/her?
A: reload



Yeah no matter how you phrase this I don't find it funny.

Steel


ohhhh geeeeze

"Take my wife...please" was a famous one-liner from Rodney Dangerfield that drew much laughter but i s'pose there were many who sat with arms crossed mumbling "no matter how you phrase it i don't find it funny". Such a pity.


Actually, I'm pretty sure Jack Benny originated that routine

(I could be wrong....)


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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: MEN...doh... - 8/18/2009 7:54:29 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		It was Henny Youngman.  It was his signature line.  It started when he was backstage with his wife before her went on and he asked an usher to escort his wife to her seat by saying "take my wife...please" and thought it might be funny to add that to his act as a one liner.


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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: MEN...doh... - 8/18/2009 8:00:01 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		ahh.,.. thanks!!  I knew it wasn't Rodney who originated it, but Jack was the first name that came to mind... 

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: MEN...doh... - 8/18/2009 8:03:02 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rikigrl

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

Slight Edit

quote:

Q: What should you do if you find your wife/husband/*****/neighbor/boss/monkey/circus freak laying on the lawn, screaming your name, with six bullet holes in him/her?
A: reload



Yeah no matter how you phrase this I don't find it funny.

Steel


ohhhh geeeeze

"Take my wife...please" was a famous one-liner from Rodney Dangerfield that drew much laughter but i s'pose there were many who sat with arms crossed mumbling "no matter how you phrase it i don't find it funny". Such a pity.
difference between your joke and Rodney Dangerfields...HIS was funny. 'Nuff said?


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RE: MEN...doh... - 8/18/2009 12:04:43 PM   
docileindiapers


Posts: 18
Joined: 4/10/2008
Status: offline 		I simply hope everyone enjoyed the jokes I posted. I didn't mean to offend. Hey, I didn't write the jokes, I just steal them and post them! I love"gender humor". It seems that in the past few decades the gender gap gets larger and larger. Does this go back to the ABC Wild World of Sports event known as the "Battle of the Sexes"?

No matter how hard they (male or Female) argue, men aren't from Mars, Women aren't from Venus. We're the same species and damned with that biological need that nature gives us.

I just happen to feel comfortable with a Dominate Woman. I'm 53 and still don't feel that I'm good enough for HER until I get to know HER.

Pass the salt, please.

And yes, it was Henny Youngman that said "Take my wife, PLEASE!" Rodney "got no respect". I am told it's because he had a small penis. But that's probaby because he didn't live up to his expectations. He was probably prematurely potty trained.

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: MEN...doh... - 8/19/2009 12:07:14 AM   
mydestiny2043


Posts: 714
Joined: 10/15/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

_____________________________

Fate determines who will come into your life...................
You decide who stays,and who goes !!!!

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Profile   Post #: 14
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