RE: So what am I so damn scared of?

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PenelopePitstop -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (2/25/2006 10:57:37 AM)
Hi! I did it! (with your collective help) I will return later and post the gory details forthwith.

angelic -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (2/25/2006 3:37:26 PM)
penelope i truly hope it went well. i, for one, am anxious to read how it went as i too am terrified of going to a munch.

slaveladyj -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (2/25/2006 5:07:17 PM)
I'm still trying to work up the nerve to go to one. There was an auction one today in my area, and I even worked up the nerve to mention it to my vanilla spouse, but I didn't go.

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (2/25/2006 9:20:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PenelopePitstop Hi! I did it! (with your collective help) I will return later and post the gory details forthwith. Wonderful!! I bet it was FUN!! Can't wait to hear. Cin

PenelopePitstop -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (2/26/2006 7:21:32 AM)
Well i was absolutely petrified and extremely social-phobic as expected but the odd thing was, there was definitely an air of 'knowing' about the group (about 20 of us) and that really helped, So I have affirmed that it was the right thing to do! I think I may have found my people! Our meeter and greeter was wonderful and kept on checking (from across the room) by mouthing "are you okay" to me, and that was really really nice. Highlight of the afternoon was an uninvited Mistress with a partially blind sub who came in and a) berated the entire group for not letting her know about the munch as she knew some of them already (big clue, eh?) and b) made her sub fetch her tea, and then screamed at him when he spilled it and threatened to bash his head in, whereupon everyone stopped talking and the air of concern became tangible. This was a great uniter beacuse we were ALL thinking exactly the same thought so all ice as yet unbroken was broken. The Scary Domme had her keys on the left hand side and even brought her case of toys along which in our munch is apparently severely frowned upon. She obviously thought she was the only real domme in the room, but we all think she was the only real wanker. PMS much? After she had left, a VERY nice Dom lady who was the natural centre of attention simply because she is so, well...great!... said "right guys, I've met her before she is one of the most dangerous people I have ever met and let's not have her here again". However, much of my attention was fixed on the most gorgeous specimen of manhood I have ever seen sitting opposite me. And then I found out he was sub too. Damn. Then a very nice Dominant who is the spitting image of Sir Alec Guinness engaged in some very interesting conversation about spirituality and psychology with me, and here's the odd thing, I suddenly started (without realising it until later) engaging in serving behaviour, like, moving out his chair for him, and giving him his coat when he left - this is quite odd for me because I've never really realised that a lot of the time when I think I am being nice I am actually being purely submissive. That was an eye-opener for me, perhaps not a surprise for many of you. so I really must say, I did enjoy every minute, and I should have listened to you all because now I feel rather silly!

yourMissTress -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (2/26/2006 7:50:43 AM)
Thank you for the update and play by play Penelope. I'm so glad that you had a good time. How interesting that you fell right into submissive mode when face to face with a Dominant. Before I comment further on that I have one question. Have you ever had the pleasure of serving a Dom in the past? Oh, and bringing the toybag to a munch is absolutely poor form.

PenelopePitstop -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (2/26/2006 8:07:46 AM)
hello Tress, In answer to your question No, i have a bare minimum of practical experience :) which consisted mainly of bondage with guys who weren't really interested in it. Yes I'm really surprised to find the serving neurone within _ i always thought I just wanted to have horrible things done to me by wonderful people. But I notice that I only wanted to serve him simply because he seemed so ... gentlemanly. LOL. I couldn't serve just anyone until they had engaged my mind in some way. This is a really interesting avenue for me... a total revelation.

RavenMuse -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (2/26/2006 8:19:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PenelopePitstop hello Tress, In answer to your question No, i have a bare minimum of practical experience :) which consisted mainly of bondage with guys who weren't really interested in it. Yes I'm really surprised to find the serving neurone within _ i always thought I just wanted to have horrible things done to me by wonderful people. But I notice that I only wanted to serve him simply because he seemed so ... gentlemanly. LOL. I couldn't serve just anyone until they had engaged my mind in some way. This is a really interesting avenue for me... a total revelation. Petal... I'm not surprizrd at your reaction to him. I've a seaky feeling that it will be a gentleman Dom that wins your heart when you find him or he finds you.[8D]

angelic -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (2/26/2006 8:40:06 AM)
penelope, that is such terrific news!!!

Evanesce -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (2/26/2006 9:16:15 AM)
quote: so I really must say, I did enjoy every minute [:)] Wonderful! Congratulations on your first successful step into the public realm. Wish I'd been there to see Lady Uber-Domme, though. Our munch yesterday was completely boring and uneventful by comparison! LOL

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (2/26/2006 6:13:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evanesce Wish I'd been there to see Lady Uber-Domme, though. Our munch yesterday was completely boring and uneventful by comparison! LOL[/color] Yes, sometimes these things are wonderfully entertaining, and make a munch more interesting and more bonding for the others LOL...although I too, would feel absolutely horror-struck for this poor woman's "victim". Some people just love to engage in high drama. I once went to a dinner party put on by a D/s friend, and everyone who attended was likeminded. Things were lowkey and lovely until a self-professed slave showed up and insisted on serving everybody...and I mean everybody, dom and sub alike, even those with partners were pestered by this slave who wouldn't quit grabbing plates, refilling glasses, fetching, kneeling, and be genuinely annoying with constant attention-seeking behaviour. Ah well, takes all kinds. Cin

mnottertail -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (2/26/2006 6:26:36 PM)
YOU FUCKING SLUT AND UNBELEVABLE WHORE! If your mother could see you now...... Well, we all take a few chances, it turns out that most of our fears are unfounded, or, given any foundation whatsoever, that a good deal of us seem to be rather tightly wrapped...... Good for you, good for anyone who sticks their neck out........ A lesson to us all......

theRose4U -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (2/26/2006 6:55:28 PM)
quote: i almost always have a leash on if possible because it makes me feel more secure. Just a thought because I saw this the other day...Get a super long gold chain necklace (22in+) and run it through the ring on your collar. Anyone passing by will just think that your necklaces have gotten tangled. Only YOU know that you tangled them on purpose. This also doubles as a leash when needed.

Evanesce -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (2/26/2006 7:55:10 PM)
quote: Some people just love to engage in high drama. I once went to a dinner party put on by a D/s friend, and everyone who attended was likeminded. Things were lowkey and lovely until a self-professed slave showed up and insisted on serving everybody...and I mean everybody, dom and sub alike, even those with partners were pestered by this slave who wouldn't quit grabbing plates, refilling glasses, fetching, kneeling, and be genuinely annoying with constant attention-seeking behaviour. OK, I have to ask. Was this person actually invited? What was the host thinking?

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (2/26/2006 9:07:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evanesce quote: Some people just love to engage in high drama. I once went to a dinner party put on by a D/s friend, and everyone who attended was likeminded. Things were lowkey and lovely until a self-professed slave showed up and insisted on serving everybody...and I mean everybody, dom and sub alike, even those with partners were pestered by this slave who wouldn't quit grabbing plates, refilling glasses, fetching, kneeling, and be genuinely annoying with constant attention-seeking behaviour. OK, I have to ask. Was this person actually invited? What was the host thinking? Yes, she was invited. She'd been to a couple of munches and had seemed to be guite stable (and experienced in real life) at the time. My friend kindly invited her because she was new. Turns out she assumed that an invite to a dinner party with kinksters meant play party, and having no partner meant you should just devise your own scene. My friend talked to her very tactfully in private the next day, and promised her that in future She would ensure that there were assigned tasks for her. That solution has since worked well to everyone's advantage. My friend knows the house will be clean by the time the guests leave, and the slave leaves feeling very content with having served. Cin

FelinePersuasion -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (2/27/2006 12:13:55 AM)
Well most of them I personally know a few groups I wouldn't attend unless they were the last social event of the year and I was depserate lol and maybe not then. quote: ORIGINAL: ShadeDiva You will have a lovely time I am sure - most munches are very warm, friendly, welcoming events!

ShadeDiva -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (2/27/2006 9:24:26 PM)
This is one of those times that I adore saying ... Told you so. lol I'm glad that you went and took that first step. I knew you'd enjoy yourself, and I'm sure you will have many wonderful experiences at your munch(es) in the future! smile

Level -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (3/4/2006 4:53:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PenelopePitstop Thanks Cin. Can you tell me if there are any do's and don't's specific to munches? Been thinking some more and all sorts of demons are swarming around my mind. It's not so much the munch I'm afraid of, but what it represents, and the future that comes after it. This is such a big thing for me, any inevitable disappointments are going to be felt twice as deeply. I feel I don't have much chance of ultimately finding what I'm looking for so it's best not to even start, and my depression is a big issue for me and I know that many people are repelled by mental illness in a submissive. Jesus, my judgement is screwed, I punish MYSELF constantly, and things that one day seem like a great idea seem like a nightmare the next. I'm wise enough to know that submission and depressive spells don't mix, at least. Penelope........if you ever trust anything that comes out of my mouth, believe this: you are not the only person who has had those feelings. And yes, I realize you don't know me from Adam, lol.....but I put off going to my first munch for nearly a year.......not totally for the same reasons as you, but still.........and once I went, I quickly realized that they were all just a bunch of mortals, like me.......many are still friends years later........some not lol........ Level

Level -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (3/4/2006 5:01:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PenelopePitstop so I really must say, I did enjoy every minute, and I should have listened to you all because now I feel rather silly! Good for you! Level the late poster smiles

Sensualips -> RE: So what am I so damn scared of? (3/4/2006 5:10:53 PM)
quote: And then I found out he was sub too. Damn. Hahaha. I hate it when that happens. No wait, sometimes I love it. The benefits of identifying as a switch.:) Glad to hear it was a good experience for you.

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