What is growth to you?

What is growth to you? (Full Version)

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Missokyst -> What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 9:38:38 AM)
I had an opportunity to chat with someone last night that was somewhat "counselling" me (unasked btw) about not limiting my sexuality. I am pretty content as is. I am monogamous, not prone to random acts of drive by sex, straight, but other-wise sensually adventurous. There hasn't been a lot I haven't tried at least once within my relationships. Sex keeps me calm, I am not prone to illnesses unless I haven't engaged in sex or maso play for a while, and then I do tend to get stress related hives, or other oddities come up. Anyway, she stressed her own personal growth. Like me, she handles her agorophobia by forcing herself outside the box. Like me, she has also had some issues with abuse at a young age. She is more accepting of her aggressive nature, more than ok with her sado-masochism, her bi-sexuality, but not particularly into men unless they have other attributes. She has a high sex drive that requires more than one partner to have it be met. I am pretty comfy as I am, very sexual, very open to things on the spur of the moment without any thought it might be bad. But I have no desire to explore bi-sexuality, poly amorous, or other avenues of sexuality that might be open to me. I don't particularly see this as growth. For me, growth was learning to speak without an accent, educating myself on my countries politics and the world, taking classes to improve my skills in art, history, religion, sociology, and dance. I see a lot of profiles that state they "wish to grow", or that "you will grow" or there is much to learn, ect. What is growth? I don't plan to suddenly become bi or poly but is there another thing I might be missing here?

LillyoftheVally -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 9:41:39 AM)
I think I see growth as self awareness more than anything else, learning facts and engaging in activities can help facilitate that growth but it requires more than that. I dont know if that makes sense. I won't explore all avenues available to me because for a lot of things I know that they go against what or who I believe myself to be, but what that is can and does change and develop.

SteelofUtah -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 9:48:15 AM)
I don't see any of the things you mentioned such as Bi-Sexuality, Polyamory, or Poly Fuckery as Growth either. Being BiSexual doesn't mean you have grown as a person, being Bi-Sexual and beaing ashamed of it and then learning to become OKAY with being Bi-Sexual is Growth but going from Hetrosexual to Bi-Sexual is not growth unless you are talking the amount of people in your bed. I think she was hitting on you hun. I don't think you were being counceled as much as you were being looked over for possible grooming in a stable. I see Growth the same way you do, accepting change and moving with it instead of standing against it. Steel

lockemann -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 10:00:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah I see Growth the same way you do, accepting change and moving with it instead of standing against it. Steel Growth is a personal thing that happens in your awareness and your perception of your world. It can be as small as accepting change(good call Steel) or as profound as adopting a new religion/lifestyle. When someone says that the are looking to grow, I usually take that to mean that they are looking to be introduced to new ways of thinking and alternatives to their current thought patterns.

DemonKia -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 10:23:40 AM)
FR, after read thru lol Not all horny-net-geeks are male nor anonymous random strangers . . . . . I'd agree that someone trying to talk you into exploring poly / bisexuality / whatever, after you've explained your history & preferences & thinking, is probably discussing their own stuff more than yours . . . . . . [;)] As for growth, that topic's a little beyond me at the moment, perhaps later I'll think of something intelligent to say . . . ..

sexisubi -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 12:06:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally I think I see growth as self awareness more than anything else, learning facts and engaging in activities. i agree with what was said above. the study of communication teaches us that there are 4 boxes to ones personal self, how you see yourself, how others see you and you see yourself, how only others see you, and things that no one knows not even you. with in a relationship that requires so much work from both parties you get a different perspective of yourself, and usually because there is so much trust and less communication restriction a person can just tell you how they see you and you can start to look at that and analize yourself. its almost like the three boxes can come together and you can start analizing these little details. these can change you or have you except the things you cannot change. growth is to see who you really are even if it was something you didnt realize, good or bad its there. and yeah she was probably hitting on you like SteelofUtah said but it was a fun topic anyway =)

pyroaquatic -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 12:35:58 PM)
Transcend and Include my friend. That is what growth is to me. Accepting what you currently are, what you have been... and what you could be. Even to the point where "Oh, I will never do that in my life." It is a possibility that has the potential to be explored.

LaTigresse -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 12:41:00 PM)
For me, growth is constant learning and always striving to be the best ME I can be. Being me, does not mean trying to be something I am not.

mnottertail -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 12:45:57 PM)
Well, this thing on the side of my penis that I have gotten as of late, I guess I would consider it a growth.....why do you ask? Ron

pyroaquatic -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 12:53:01 PM)
Serious is something that you are not. :D

DesFIP -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 12:55:57 PM)
You're politer than I would have been. Next time just give her a blank stare and move on. No, I don't think you can grow into being bisexual. Hell, next time you're stuck seeing her ask her why she's so limited that she hasn't grown into being a lesbian or a trans. She's an arrogant twit. I don't feel that I am being limited by being who I am. I'm perfectly happy being het and monogamous. Happy being the operative word. I also don't feel the need to constantly learning and doing new things either. Because if you're doing them, then you aren't doing the stuff you already know and love. I don't feel a need to learn to play golf either. I'm sure it would be growth of some sort, by teaching me that I dislike it as much as I did the first time I took lessons. But while I would be out there disliking what I was doing, I wouldn't be going for a walk in the nature preserve, or watching hawks fly, or playing miniature golf which I do like. There's a limit to the time you have to do things with, your friend may think it makes more sense to do things she doesn't like and ignore the stuff she does. It doesn't fly with me. And why is it nobody ever says you ought to play golf for growth instead of having sex with people you aren't attracted to just because they're attracted to you? I think she was hitting on you with her whine.

mnottertail -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 12:56:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic Serious is something that you are not. :D Oh, I can be pyro, but it either is not pretty, or is wasted.

sexisubi -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 12:57:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Well, this thing on the side of my penis that I have gotten as of late, I guess I would consider it a growth.....why do you ask? Ron [sm=yourock.gif]

gentlemanprince -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 2:24:35 PM)
At 5'3" and shrinking, I will take any grow I can get. Seriously, my Mistress demands that I be the best man I can possibly be. With her encouragement I took up martial arts, something I've always wanted to do, at age 61. (The next oldest in the class was in his mid-30s.) She has introduced me to new books, new foods, and sometimes different (but well-grounded) viewpoints on social and political issues. I have come to terms with my submissive nature, seeing not as a failing but as a strength. I consider all of those to be growth.

gentlemanprince -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 2:25:46 PM)
Er, "growth." Where is the edit button when I need it?

leadership527 -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 2:29:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse For me, growth is constant learning and always striving to be the best ME I can be. Yeah, what she said.

lally2 -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 2:47:48 PM)
great question btw! i have grown through doing something that wasnt on my list of 'wants' even just facing something i didnt want to do or wasnt for me helped me to look inside of myself and discover something new about me. each little step away from my comfort zone has challenged ideas, ideals, beliefs and fixed notions. would i grow from a bi-sexual experience, possibly i would. possibly my sexuality, sensuality, confidence in myself, the experience itself would lead to a new perspective and therefore a new growth spurt - a facet of myself i have never explored, like forcing myself to ski down a black run or jump out of an aeroplane. these things would challenge me and in the period of experiencing them i would discover something about myself. every experience we put ourselves through will lead to some sort of growth. doesnt mean that i would 'grow' into bisexuality, im damn sure i wouldnt, im way too much a fan of rock hard cock frankly.

aldompdx -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 2:58:11 PM)
As Plato quoted Socrates, "First know thyself." Growth is about self awareness -- learning that fulfillment arises in the only place it is ever felt, one's own heart.

AnimusRex -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 3:03:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst Anyway, she stressed her own personal growth. Like me, she handles her agorophobia by forcing herself outside the box. Like me, she has also had some issues with abuse at a young age. She is more accepting of her aggressive nature, more than ok with her sado-masochism, her bi-sexuality, but not particularly into men unless they have other attributes. She has a high sex drive that requires more than one partner to have it be met. "handling agorophobia by forcing herself outside the box"- does she literally have agorophobia or is this a metaphor for "trying wild risky behavior"? If it is the latter, this doesn't sound like growth, but rather self-medicating with sex, instead of booze or drugs.

TopChuck -> RE: What is growth to you? (8/21/2009 3:16:41 PM)
I hate succotash. I'm glad I hate succotash. If I liked succotash, I'd eat succotash. And, I can't stand succotash. (There is no growth to be had in eating succotash.)

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