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It is all about me - 8/22/2009 10:30:24 AM

lilmisscas

Posts: 5
Joined: 8/22/2009
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Hi all, very new girl here, I'm Cassie I'm 21 and I'm so not looking to meet anyone new for a relationship. My B/f recently got me into playing some naughty games with him. From my reading it sounds to me like he was doing a bit of top from the bottom kind of thing. But that is beside the point, I am looking for advice/ ideas/ input so that I can be more of the dominant partner in this relationship. Him saying "tie me up and tease me" and asking me to do stuff is not how it is supposed to happen, is it?

I would love to hear from any Dommes or Doms, subbie boys or girls on ideas to excite me, and make him realize what he has let himself in for.

I will write some more here if it would be helpful, but please let me know what I should tell you all, as I said I am just a baby here.

CAS
xxx

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RE: It is all about me - 8/22/2009 10:31:29 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: It is all about me - 8/22/2009 1:45:31 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

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RE: It is all about me - 8/22/2009 4:45:00 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
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If you want to be dominant in the relationship, then it basically boils down to:

1- you decide what you want

2- you tell him what you want

3- he does what you tell him

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: It is all about me - 8/23/2009 5:51:45 AM

lilmisscas

Posts: 5
Joined: 8/22/2009
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Thank you for the welcomes, and the advice. Now all I gotta do is work out what I want? sheesh, and I thought it was gonna be tough!!!!

CAS
xxx

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RE: It is all about me - 8/23/2009 5:54:51 AM

daintydimples

Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
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Welcome to the CM forums.

_____________________________

Some soften by the forced reflection that comes from loss; others harden. Which are you?

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RE: It is all about me - 8/23/2009 8:12:13 AM

Level

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Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisscas

Thank you for the welcomes, and the advice. Now all I gotta do is work out what I want? sheesh, and I thought it was gonna be tough!!!!

CAS
xxx

How tough it ends up being is soley up to you and him

Good luck to you, and be sure to check out the rest of the forums, there is a wealth of info there.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to lilmisscas)

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RE: It is all about me - 8/23/2009 11:35:16 AM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
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quote:

Now all I gotta do is work out what I want?

That's always the rub, in kink, relationships, careers, home, personal interests....

And most people suck at it.

Welcome. Enjoy.

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RE: It is all about me - 8/24/2009 11:31:25 AM

lastofthesavages

Posts: 6
Joined: 8/11/2009
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So it sounds like you both are interested in the dynamic. My take is that you simply need to find what turns you both on and then do it.

It sounds like your boyfriend has a firm idea of what he likes. Now you just need to decide what you like that dovetails with his interests. You can make yourself crazy thinking about "what's a reward and what's punishment". But you are the object of his desire so really you have all the chips in the sex department. If there's something that he likes that you are only lukewarm on, I'd make that a reward for his doing something you really like... like being good about loving you in real life all the time. And if there's something you both like.. I'd just do that all the time.
For example if he likes being tied up and you know that is something he'll bend over backwards to get.. obviously you have some leverage as to getting whatever it is you want in order to fulfill this rewarding punishment of him. Most women want to feel special so when he makes you feel special and safe or whatever then perhaps reward him for his good behavior. The other kind of often discussed thing on these boards is that men kind of think with their dicks. The basic idea is that if you don't let him get off for a few days he'll pretty much be willing to do whatever you like..

Good luck with your relationship;
Cheers;

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